sixjk day 6

hahahaha that isb supposed to say sick day 6.
i'[m so out of it i can't even type right now hahaha

i feel like nothing is real and everything is a movie and i'm just abasfkljasgdi;qerugh;sdjkbg'ODUGTheo'i

yeah.

my lungs aren't heavy and they don'ty burn but i do styill have the annyoing cough.
i just feel WONKY and weebly wobblty and what the fuck.


i can't focus on anythi8ng and i'm just not ebven here right now what is going on.

i've decided that tomorrow i'm getting up early and coming to campus and writing all day.


just getting my papers DONE.


but today?
fuck topday.

i'm done.


not rerally i have work but yueah.

Sick

So... I'm sick. 

I'm guessing upper respiratory infection. I was worried about bronchitis but it's getting better so I'm not worried about that anymore.

The cough is getting better, although I'm on day 4 of violent coughing. Yesterday was the worst of it.

Now I have stuffy nose, draining sinuses, fatigue, weakness, and the cough.

On the upside my lungs don't burn nearly as bad. Yesterday was like... An 8. Today it's like a 4.

I just still feel bad....

But I font think I'll need to go to the d&d. In Monday - I do seem to be getting better.

Sweet love songs track list

rock love songs:
1. Its been a while

2. right here waiting

3. Here without you

4.never gonna be alone

5.gatta be somebody for me

6. The last night 

7. Comatose 

8. what if i was nothing?

9. everything by life house
10. you and me by life house
11. far away - nickleback
12. cold - crossfade
13. kids in love - may day parade
14.when you say nothing at all
15. the reason by hoobastank
16. Black roses red - alana grace
17. forever - paparoach
18. here's to love by halestorm
19. calling you - blue october
20. Lips of an angel


Indie/pop love songs
1. I wouldn't mind - he is we
2. Happily ever after - he is we
3. Find me - christina grimmie
4. Sparks fly - miranda cosgrove
5. Perfect two
6. Check Yes Juliet
7.  if you like me - we the kings
8. Tangled up in me
9. Accidentally in love
10. If it really means that much to you
12. A thousand years
13. Everywhere by michelle branch
14. Trouble - never shout never
15. Jane Doe Never shout never
16. at the beginning with you
17. love you like a love song
18. i must be dreaming - the maine
19. Amnesia - 5SOS
20. why can't i? - liz phair

Country love songs:
1. fall - clay walker
2. must be doing somethign right
3. bad for me
4. amazed by lonestar
5. when you say nothing at all
6. Jonie and June - heidi
7. want to - sugarland
8. drunk on you - luke bryan
9. cowboy take me away
10. need you now
11. we danced - brad paosley
12. are you gonna kiss me or not?
13. i need you - faith hill
14. god gave me you
15. wanted - hunter hayes
16. honesy bee
17. bless the broken road
18.good morning beautiful
19. dust on the bottle
20. Goes like this 

Encouragement CD tacklist

"it gets better"
1, follow my voice for all those still sleeping
2, unbreakable - fireflight
3, stand in the rain - superchic
4, courage - orainthi
5, if you're going through hell, keep on going
6, so small - carrie underwood
7, never alone - superchic
8, move along
9,  beauty from pain
10. the climb
11. rise above this
12. a little bit stonger
13, you're gonna fly
14, you're not alone - bring me the horizon
15. i won't give in - asking alexandria
16. the light - disturbed
17, stand - rasdcal flats
18. a prophecy - asking alexandria
19. hold on - good charlotte
20. broken wings - flyleaf


"empower yourself"
1. Beautiful by bethany dillion
2. Beautiful by Christina Agulaera
3. i don't give a damn about my bad reputation
4 Confident by demi
5. Invincible by Kelly
6. Try - colbie calliet
7. rock what you got  superchic
8. fragile by christina grimmie
9. don't care  - demi
10. Lala land  - demi
11. piece of me - brittany spears
12. raise your glass - pink
13.freak like me - halestorm
14. loser like me - glee
15. unwritten
16. born this way - lady gaga
17. Brave by sarah barellies
18. firework
19. fight song
20. stronger by brittany

1000

I HIT A THOUSAND POSTS..... oh lord. i don't have much of a life do i? haha

but this is cool :)

Country cd tracklist

S1.Living our love song

2. Alyssa lies

3. Good directions - and turnip greens

4. Beautiful mess by diamond rio

5. Love somebody like you

6. Who wouldn't wanna be me?

7. Southern hallelujah 

8. Small things - brad paisley 

9. She's everything to me -brad paisley 

10. Wild West show - brooks and Dunn

11. Bid my heart goodbye 

12. Crazy girl (don't you know I love you)

13. Suds in the bucket

14. Redneck woman 

15. Amarillo sky

16. Relentless 

17. Wasting all these tears

18. Something bad about to happen 

19. Would you go with me?

20. Bye bye - Jo see masina
21. Fancy - reba


1. bafrefot blue jean night
2. farmer's daughter
3. what was i thinking?
4.Ol' red
5. she don't know shes beautiful
6.stuck like glue sugarland
7. don't take the girl
8. write this down
9. dirt road anthem
10. something to be proud of
11. whiskey lullaby
12. Cruise
13. boondocks
14. i don't dance
15. meet in the middle
16. big green tractor
17. i've been watching you
18. where i come from
19.what i love about sunday
20 ladies love country boys

Faerie self

I know I refer to my faerie self as a different entity but I know she isn't. She and I are like him and yang. 

I am her compassion

Her empathy

Her weaker side

Her selfless side

I want to give and make others happy

I am the humble one.

But she is my strength 

She is my confidence 

She is my selfish desire

She is my cruelty 

She is my pride

and.... 

I think she is my labido.

I have found that the more I give in to her... The more she comes out the higher my labido is. 

In the current romantic situation I'm in, it is solely on her playing around. She gets to come out more often... And the same can be said of my labido.

To describe her accurately would to say combine the personalities of poison ivy and Catwoman.

I fear her but I need her. 

We are one and the same. 

I don't fear her... I fear what I would become if I embrace her and gator calling her "her". 

I fear what I will become if I embrace both sides of me.

But the more often she comes out, he closer I get to it.

Hm.

Anne's cd

Bare necessities 

Ain't no mountain high and no valley low

Perfect by pink

Witches brew by Katy B

The maiden and the selkie 

Stronger by Brittany spears

Best friend by weezer 

Settle down by kimbra

Candy man 

Hello darkness by disturbed

Try by colbie calliet

Froot by marina 

Rodger rabbit 

Cheshire kitten 

The middle -  jimmy ears world 

Believe in dreams by flyleaf

Defying gravity

Far over the misty mountains cold - str8

Fee rah huri - omnia

Hannibal vs jack the ripper

I WILL PASS

I WILL PASS MY OCEANOGRAPHY CLASS

he takes off the lowest 2 homework grades

and is debating a "grace period" and let everyibe retake one homeowrk test.



FUCK YEAH

even if he doesn't do the grace period..


I WILL PASS

My hero pt2

Almost everything I blogged about last time is better after dr. Bunger gave me that stone.

My car is fine. - needs a tune up but is fine

I've register for my classes

The grad student who teaches my lab has my missing notebook.

I'm still worried about each and cara but that can't be helped.

Everything will be fine.

angel again...

i keep trying to find this so  here is the link for later

http://pixieluv4.blogspot.com/2013/12/angel-original-short-story-by-lisa.html.

here is the one for simon says too
http://pixieluv4.blogspot.com/2014/10/simon-says-original-short-story.html

Snuggle

I just want to snuggle. 

Curl up under the covers with someone in a warm bed.

And be held. 

To feel safe and secure.

Warm and protected.

Next to someone who cares or I care about.

Soft blankets. Warmth. Feelings of safety and love.

availability for work Spring 2016

availability for work Spring 2016

Mon Wed Friday: 12:30 - close
Tues Thurs : 5-11

Sat: any
Sun: 7am-10pm

ok math:

MWF she would prolly give me 6 hour shifts of varying times. so = 18 hours
saturday could be anything so 6 hour shift = 24 hours
add that with tues and thurs = 36 hours
and sunday = 42 hours


so. yeah i sould be good with availabiliy.

i know for a fact i won't get that many hours, but bye bye cash register hello customer lead shifts!

my hero

Dr. Bunger is my hero.

i basically balbbered to him all about whats wrong at the moment. Everything in my last blog as well as about Cara's surgery and Racheal...

and he brought me a stone.

he asked if i remembered the stones from the Jivaro that the womwne would get on their spirit journey and that would help them and make things well.

then he said that this (red jasper) could be my stone for the academic and car troubles i was having.

bless him.

i love this man so much.

my hero <3

i can't win

i just can't win today

• My car breaks down. after hours of waiting and stress i find out that they couldn't figure out what was wrong, so they are going to look into it more tomorrow. or actually what it was - there is so much wrong with my car they don't know heads from tails.
• i don't know how the hell i am going to afford fixing it when they do finally find a cause.
• the biological anthropology lab is covering the part that i litterally DO NOT FOLLOW. AT ALL. i litterally hate this part of the course. and you know what? its a big fucking part of the next exam. oh joy!
• i had barley anything to wat or drink from 6am - 7pm since then i have had 2 bottles of water and spagetti. 
• i am fighint off a possible sinus infection
• i left earring hole is VERY infected.
• i now have a headache
• MY  NOTEBOOK IS MISSING.  somewhere in the chaos that was tonight my primary notebook i use for ALL MY CLASSES is missing. i can't find it anywhere. 
• and to top it all off? i'm emotionally unstable because i started my fucking period today.

recap: i am car-less, feeling stupid, in pain, and emotionally unstable.

i honestly don't know if i can make it through tomorrow. i seriously just want to crawl into a hole and stay there in the cool darkness.

but i've missed my 3 days in spanish class. so i have to go.

I

just

can't

win.

Fail

I'm going to fail oceanography.

I realized today I missed 3 online homeworks that I can't make up. 

Now even if I make 100s on the last 3 homeworks and do well on the last 2 tests I'll scrape by the skin of my teeth at MOST a C-.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I'm taking in of the tests today and don't feel very confident about it. 

I need to will it into being. 

I have to do well on this test.

I have to do well in this test. 

I have to do well on this test.

I will do well on this test.

I will do well on this test.