Supervision Reflection

 Consider the following questions as you prepare a 1-2 page reflection paper:

1) What are the significant personal issues that arose for me during this supervision session? What specific areas of struggle or areas of growth am I more aware of now?

For me personally, the supervision session triggered an anxiety attack (via frantic hyperctivity) as I do not like to be the center of attention for more than a few minutes at a time. Usually I can mask and hide an anxiety attack when in situations that call for being professonal, but talking with my cohorts is more of a supportive safe atmosphere so I allowed myself to be honest with how I felt. Through the conversation I found that my fear of judgment and fear of dissapointing others was heavily influencing how I functioned with my client. I also learned that what "professional" looks different to each person, and should I ever need, I can invite my client to ground with me. The idea with starting a session with stretches or movement as a way to shake off the word day that preceeded the appointment really appeals to me. I found that I focus more on the heart center, the spirit and mind, and tend to neglect the body when I am working with people, until the very end of our session. Body movement is something that really helps me, especially when I find myself stressed, so turning that into a calming experience for myself and the person I am with, without turning the focus of the session away from my client could be a game changer for me. 

2) What did I learn about myself as a spiritual director? What strengths do I offer? What are my limitations?

My strengths are my ability to make space and adapt to my client, approaching the situation from a place of exploration as opposed to frustration. I have a lot of love for the people I work with and it brings me genuine joy to see them connect with the Divine - wether that just be feeling impassioned and alive or connecting with a sense of deity. My limitations would be the pattern of placing a "pass/fail" on myself dependant on the experience that my directee has. If they are unable to experience a sense of the sacred, in any form, then I feel as if I had failed them. I have to remind myself that I cannot foster a relationship with the Divine for them - it is a personal journey - I am just here to help provide a time and place for them to do so. 

3) What are the “hot button” topics that cause me to move away from the directee’s experience? How might I address these areas in order to move toward spiritual freedom?

I currently have not found any "hot button" topics that I am not willing to explore with someone. I find all topics to be sacred, even "taboo" ones like sex, death, drug use and history (as that can have great impact in how someone interacts and percievs the world), or history of abuse. We are all spiritual beings having a human experience; that human experience, in all of is fascets, is sacred. I welcome all topics, although I try to be mindful of any topic that the directee has stated they want to avoid. 

4) What did I learn about relationships? With myself? With Others? With God?

I feel like I touched on this before; because I care so much about the people I meet with, I put an intense level of pressure on myself to help cultivate the best experience I can. The thought of having someone say they gained nothing from a session creates an intense anxiety and feeling of failure... however that is not fair to put on myself. How someone feels after a session is not something I can control and I have to be compassionate with myself and accept that its okay if something didn't click for them. Through the conversation in supervision, I had it highlighted once again that I struggle with self compassion. My ability to relate to others is why I am good at this work; I believe that the ability to form relationships in itself is a sacred gift. It is what makes anything "spiritual". 

I do not often find myself connecting with the gods when I am talking directly to a person or creating a space for them to flourish. Spirit, as an underlying element of nature  and life itself, may become particularly strong or close, but the gods are not so actively involved unless called on. It has not happened in a formal session yet, but I have had the presence of ancestors and passed loved ones come through while having a particularly spiritual focused conversation with someone. I have been asked in the past to help connect someone to an enlightned teacher's spirit as well. However, in the context of spiritual diretion I do not feel a sense of deity is involved - at least on my side. For the directee, I hope they do if that is something they seek. 

5) What skills and attitudes do I need to attend to? In the area of listening? In the area of

mind-body-spirit connections? In the area of intercultural interactions?

I feel like I answered this one in #2. When it comes to intercultural interactions, I have not yet been tested. Most of the clients that I work with are agnostic, spiritual but not religious, or athesitic. These are all areas I am comfortable with, although athesism is a bit harder for me. I adapt by focusing on relationship with the self; while that may not be spiritual to them, it is to me, and thus allows a shift where Spirit can become more evident. I have not had a Christian client yet, although that will not always be the case. I like to believe that I won't have any issues taking Christian clients one-on-one but with my religious trauma I am not sure. That remains to be seen. Overall I find that every culture, every religion, and every perspective does hold wisdom and a sense of truth for that person and that is all that I need to know. This is about them - not me. The only thing that I feel would cause me to not be able to serve someone is if I found that they were harmful in any way (racist, homophobic, Trump supporter, etc). I am aware that while my love is unconditional, my compassion and ability to serve is not. 

6) What did I learn about God and God’s presence? For myself? For my directee? In the

world?

I feel like this one got answered in #4. 

5) What will I focus on in order to continue my own personal growth and my abilities to serve others well in spiritual direction. 

I will try to remove myself from the focus at all. Sessions are not about me - they are about my client. If they do not connect with something we are doing, I will move on to something else. My role is to be prepared, have promping questions and practices to explore, and to hold space for them. Everything else is out of my control and I need to learn how to embrace that, for the sake of the directee and myself. Once circumstances change and I am able to take more time before and between sesisons, including proper somatic exercises/breaks, and time to gorund myself will make a huge difference.

The Conqueror - May Brown

 I will not pass through the world as a captive might,

Dragged at the chariot wheels of contemptuous fate,

Bleeding and prone, bewailing the hour of my birth,

Suffering the buffets of chance, And the fierce despite

Of the grinding years as they roll: By their scornful hate

Crushed like a bruised reed into molding earth.

But I will pass through the world as a conqueror should,

Baffled at every turn, yet victorious still,

Breaking the chains of circumstance, shaping mine ends

Out of inimical Hours – yea, wresting the good

Out of mine ultimate worst: For the heavenly Hill

Is taken by force, and the violent thither ascends. 

Balked by the Things, unseen, as by evil gods,

Foiled, disappointed, flung down, but to rise again –

Thrones, principalities, powers – Shall their strength, avail? 

Reckless of failure, and trampling the terrible odds

Under my feet as I go, I will sing right fain

Of the triumph to come, the triumph that shall not fail.

Defrauded out of my dues of the Earth‘s delight,

All doors shut in my face, And each roadway barred

Cheated of peace and pleasure and starved of fame

Yet I will march in today through the walls of night,

Fronting a routed universe, Battle scarred,

Colors flying, Unsoiled of defeat or shame.

By the crossfire of villainous guns raked stem to stem,

Staggering onward, Smoke shrouded, With splintered decks

Main mast broken and formast gone by the board, - 

Yet Shall, the clashing bells acclaim the victors return,

As I reach to my moorings at last - as, a wreck of wrecks, 

I fight my way in The name of the Lord. 

It May Be - S. E. Kiser

 It May be that you cannot stay

to lend a friendly hand to him

Who stumbles on the slippery way,

Pressed by conditions hard and grim;

It may be that you dared not heed

His call for help, because you lack

The strength to life him, but you need

Not push him back. 

It May be that he has not won

the right top hope for you r regard;

He may in folly have begun

the course that he has found so hard; 

It may be that your fingers bleed,

The fortune turns a bitter frown

Upon your efforts, but you need

Not kick him down. 

Revised Poetry Retreat

I realized that the first method of the poetry authenicity retreat did not have enough contemplative reflection. 

For now; The new order will go like this: Each Round will be 45 minutes or less depending on how things fall naturally. 

Description: 

"Every person has a sacred authentic core within them; wether you call it a soul, spirit, or simply just higher consciousness it connects us to something greater than our physical selves. Through the use of poetry, we will gather and immserse ourselves into sacred space. This is a time to truly listen to our authentic core, allow others to witness us, and learn to witness others without judgment or fear."

***Spiritual direction is a method used to notice the divine in our everyday lives, a time to reflect on how we connect with the divine - wether a sense of higher power is recognized or not. What makes humans "spiritual" is our ability to form relationships; this could be to a sense of deity, universe, life, nature, or even just to the sacredness of self. Drawing on the relationship with our divine center, learning to witness and see that divinity in others, allows us to enter into a contemplative awareness in our every day lives. Spiritual direction is a container for this practice; this spiritual group spiritual direction session is open to all people regardless of race, sexuality, spiritual path or religion (or the lack of). Come as you are, come with love, and a willingness to be open. Welcome! 

The Format:

Step 1. The Offering — “Why I brought this.”

The sharer introduces their poem and briefly explains why they chose it - did they choose it this morning on a whim or is there a connection there? They don't need to give a dissertation, just enough context for the circle to understand what drew them to this particular offering.

Step 2: Reading 1 - Sharer reads the poem aloud.

Step 3. Silence - Everyone sits with the offering for a minute in contemplative silence. 

Step 4 - Reflective Prompt for Lectio Divina 

"I'm going to invite you to read your poem again. This time, allow yourself to release the reasons you originally chose it. Listen to it from where you are right now, in this moment. Notice what catches your attention now. It may be the same thing that originally called to you or it may be something entirely different. Notice a word, an image, a feeling, a memory, resistance, a sensation in your body—whatever arises. The poem spoke to you before, what is it saying now?

Step 5: Reading 2 - Sharer reads the poem out loud again. This time, trying to listen to it as if it was being offered to them. 

Step 6: Silence - sitting in contemplative silence with the second offering. 

Step 7: Reflection - What is the sacred saying now?

Sharer, when ready, shares what is coming up for them. This is where Spirit/The Sacred/God/etc is speaking to them. 

Step 8 Silence - letting the group absorb whats been heard. 

Step 9: Round Robin

This is where everyone will provide one or two words that they heard in their sacred listening of the sharer's reflection/message. Did they hear something in the introduction, but now hear something new? 

Examples:

• “Before, I heard belonging. This time I heard freedom.”
• “I heard grief before, and I still hear grief, but now I also hear acceptance.”
• “I heard uncertainty both times.”

This goes around the circle until it comes to the SD - then the SD will summarize the echos and add their own. 

Step 10: Spiritual Direction Begins

"How do these words feel reflected back to you? What are you noticing as you let others witness you?"

Stepp 11: Sharer responds. 

If there is time --- allow for contemplative questions to arise from the group. Only 1 or 2. Allowing for discussion with the Sharer. Lettign silence fall and reflection to go on as needed. 

Step 12: 15 minute break, ending this container and allowing for refreshment. (Every 2 sharers) 

The Schedule for the day:

• 10:00–10:20 Welcome & Settle
• Everyone is invited to get a cup of coffee, water, tea, etc. Grab a journal if they did not bring one. Grab a poetry book if they did not bring something with them and are welcome to look through them. This is a time to introduce ourselves unofficially, catch up with anyone we know, or just sit in silence. Take this time to settle into your body, settle into the space, and just pause. (This also gives some wiggle room for those who struggle with time)
• 10:20–11:05 Opening Sacred Space  
• (10 minute?) The name game (shake out bodies, help break any nervous tension, etc) 
• (10 minute) Drumming Meditation:  Drumming and guidance through a light body exercise to help ground everyone and  set the stage for contemplative awareness. Drum and ask reflective questions to get our minds open:
• What are we inviting into this moment?
• What within you is asking to be heard today?
• Is there something you are being invited to change or explore?
• Remind them that they are in sacred space - meaning they are safe to let down any masks and expectations. They can express themselves freely. This is a space of loving support and everyone is welcome to exist exactly how they wish to be. It is sacred because it is special, it is special because we have decided to carve out a time and place together. This is co-creation. 
• As the drumming ends, SD invites everyone to place an item on the altar in the middle of the room - anything they feel represents them in who they are; saying their name as they do so. 
• (20 minutes) Calling in the intention for the day: SD Leads and then opens the floor - anyone who wants to share what came up for them in the meditation can do so. If no one wants to share or if only a few people do, then ask how everyone is feeling. is anyone nervous? Feeling resistant? Hopeful?
  
• 11:05-11:20 Process Introduction
• Explaining the process of lectio Divina, what contemplative questions are, and letting them ask questions if there is any confusion
• Introduce the practice of Lectio Divina and explain that we are going to use poetry as our primary medium for the day. Typically done to connect with The Divine - we are seeking to connect to the divine within us - our authentic core.  We do this by being open and honest with ourselves, what particular word or phrase comes up for us, does it touch anything in our actual lives, what emotions or sensations do we feel in our body, what images arise from it? Write it down and do not worry about making it seem cohesive. This could be bullet points, it could be stream of consciousness,  etc. Just write what comes up for you. Explain the 1-2 word echo's from each person's share. 
• 11:20 - 11:55 - First Round 
• Follow the Format Listed Above
• 11:55 - 12:50 Lunch Break
• 12:50 - 1:00 - Settling back 
• bathroom, tea, settling back into the space. SD Drumming to call all back to centered attention. 
  
• 1:00–1:35 Round 2
• Follow the Format Listed Above
• 1:35–2:10 Direction Round 3
• Follow the Format Listed Above
• 2:10–2:25  Break — 15 min
• Tea / Stretch / Bathroom
• 2:25–3:00 Poetry Direction Round 4
• Follow the Format Listed Above
• 3:00–3:35 Poetry Direction Round 5
• Follow the Format Listed Above
• 3:35–4:10 Poetry Direction Round 6
• Follow the Format Listed Above
• 4:10–4:45 Individual Integration — 35 min
• Journaling, reflecting on the xperience, being out in nature, meditation, divination time, etc. 
• 4:45–5:00 Regrounding & Re-entry — 15 min
• Allow everyone to come back in, final bathroom break, more tea, etc. 
• SD drums to help everyone center back 
• 5:00–5:45 Closing Harvest Discussion — 45 min (15 min each)
• Round 1: The Vulnerability of Being Witnessed
• The Prompt: "How did it feel to be the person at the center, to share your raw inner reflections out loud, and then hear the group throw back a word or two? What did you notice in yourself as you allowed others to witness you without trying to fix, advise, or interpret your experience?”
• What this illuminates: This invites participants to reflect on their experience of vulnerability and being seen. It helps them notice what happened internally when others witnessed their authentic expression: whether they felt exposed, affirmed, resistant, surprised, relieved, understood, or something else entirely. It also gives them an opportunity to consider whether the words reflected back revealed something they had not recognized in themselves.
• Round 2: The Practice of Witnessing
• Prompt: “For most of today, you were not the person sharing—you were the witness. What was it like to listen to someone else's experience without needing to fix it, advise them, relate it back to yourself, or find an answer? Did you notice anything change in the way you listened as the day went on?”
• Illumination: This shifts attention from being seen to learning how to see another person. It invites participants to notice their own listening habits and the difference between listening to understand, listening to respond, and contemplative listening. It also highlights how making room for another person's authentic experience requires allowing their experience to remain their own.
• Round 3: Sacred Authenticity 
• Prompt: “Think back to the person who arrived here this morning and the poem you originally brought with you. After everything you offered, heard, witnessed, and experienced today, what are you noticing now? Has anything shifted, deepened, been affirmed, or perhaps become more complicated in how you understand yourself or what it means for you to live authentically?”
• Illumination: Returns attention back to the central theme - the sacred authentic voice within. Lets them reflect on the internal movement that the Divine has sparked in the interactions of the day. 
• 5:45–6:00 Final Closing
• “One final time around the circle: what is one word, phrase, image, or intention you want to carry with you when you leave this space?”
• SD drums to thank everyone and signify the space closing; 
• thanking everyone for their vulnerability 
• express gratitude for the sacred movement - wether you call it God, Universe, Spirit, Love, or Conscousness. 
• Gratitue for the Authentic self, the core of who we are, and allowing it to speak to us today. Allowing us to hear it and allowing others to witness us in this. 
• Offer a  Blessing that all may go in love, peace, and carry with them the messages that arose today.
• Fin. 

Pressure - To read to professor for SD appointment.

 1) I absolutely know I am going into the right field. The more into this I get in practice the more sure I am. The more inspired I am. The more I actually feel CALLED to ministry... 

2) I feel like I am going to explode from an internal sense of pressure.... stemming from my vocational calling and intensely frustrating lack of resources and infrastructure available to me as someone in an alternative and religiously plural faith.

I have so many ideas, so many things I want to offer the communities around me, and yet almost no way to make it a reality - financially. I have so many different types of meetings/group direction I want to offer - grief, women empowerment, devotion, prayer & ritual - most of which utilize the divinas and then group sharing and co-creating of reflection questions and processing.

But I don't have the time or place to do any of this... because I am trapped in my 9-5 job (and school although I feel like could be grouped in with vocational work). I am trapped in this job because our society really only has infrastructure set up for the faith an ministry within major religions. 

I am not a Christian.... if I was - I would already have a ministry job. I would have multiple options and means of finding ministry jobs. Hell - that job might have even paid for my seminary degree! 

But what church is going to hire a pagan? What church wants to appeal and serve "others" in the community with an explicit anti-proselytizing understanding - the goal simply to present and provide support to all people in the community; even if not specifically members of the church?

People should not have to PAY to come to a weekly reflections group on grief. People should not have to pay to attend a women's group.... these are all things churches offer for free. But if I have any hope of supporting myself I would have to pay... Why should people outside of Major organized religions, especially Christianity, have to pay while their better supported counterparts do not?

The uneven access to support - both for those in need of services and those wishing to provide services - is something that makes me so incredibly frustrated I feel like my head will explode. 

I have a non-profit I want to work with. But it is too new to actually hire someone full time, so I know is not ready to provide the infrastructure I would need. But as an interfaith Spiritual director, I can't find something that DOES have the infrastructure. As a solo practitioner, I have to charge for the ministry I want to provide. 

Its frustrating, its demoralizing, and its not fair. I have long said I would be a minister if I was a Christian... (by that I mean working in ministry  - not preaching on a Sunday). I am now finding my way to ministry anyway and the same damn obstacles that prevented me from thinking it was possible are rearing their heads. 

How do I balance this obvious obstacle and sense of injustice over the lack of resources with this burning passion I have? The closer I get to getting my degree, the more tension I feel. Saturday night I was just overwhelmed with it. Life would be so much easier as a Chrsitian, with so much more opportunities, and community support - all missing because I connect to the divine in a different way. 

Faith and Ministry should not have such high barriers for those in alternative faiths or those seeking to serve people of alternative faiths (or lack there of). But it does. And I don't know how to reconcile it. 

3) I am becoming so inspired and impassioned for this work that I can coming up with so many ideas, feel called to read so many books and broaden my perspective, and it’s hits a brick wall - my day job. I have been so encompassed by my call to ministry that it is actually causing problems in my day job because I am so “distracted”.  Legitimatley.... I spent 90% of my day today writing up formats for group spiritual direction exercises that I maybe worked a half hour on my actual work today. 

Reflective Questions for sessions

 Reflective Questions:

• What are we inviting into this moment?
• What within you is asking to be heard today?
• Why is it asking for my attention? 
• Why?
• What message has life been sending you lately?
• What are you carrying within you that you have not given voice to?
• Why do you hold it in silence?
• What purpose has this served?
• Where do you feel a sense of dryness, emptiness, or disconnection in your inner landscape?
• What is this telling you?
• What 
• For parents: does being a parent change how you view God or the sacred/universe? 
• Where do you feel invited to welcome change in your life?
• What emotion does this bring forward?
• Why?
• When have you felt the most at peace?
• When was the last time you felt something move your spirit or an overwhelming sense of love, awe, or mystery?
• What is currently bringing a sense of deep vitality, joy, or spiritual nourishment to your life?
• What are your spiritual Gifts? how can you use them?

Typical Spirtual Direction outline

 I am finding that I actually realy like Franciscan style companionship; overall I really align with St. Francis & St. Clare of Assissi's values (minus the whole, give everything you own up to make room for chirst). Its very open, loving, egalitarian, . and focuses on compassion and companionship. 

A typical Franciscan Model for spiritual direction session is ironically pretty much what I already do. 

1. Opening and Centering  - light the candle, say a few words to center us
2. Opening Exercise (give 3-4 options) and reflection. 
1. Leads and invites discussion.. if things run silent for too long, the discssion ends with a lot of time left, bring conversation towards...
2. Check in - "what is calling out to you right now?" "what is alight in your life right now?" "What season is your life in?
3. "Tell me more about that"
3. Deep Listening and Exploration (to be done during discussion)
1. Hold sacred listening and presence
2. Listen for the divine - where is the client connected to the animate world, the elements, or their inner wisdom?
3. Embodiment - if they get stuck in their heads, bring them back to their bodies - "where do you feel this conflict/emotion/tension in your body?" 
4. Grounding  - Bringing them back to the moment and allowing their insights to settle into their body. 
1. We've covered some heavy stuff today; lets jus take a few moments and let this settle into our bodies. --> Sunflowering. Pulling the insights from our "roots" when we hang, slowly pulling it through us as we uncurl, welcoming it into our hearts and opening ourselves to furthure insights as we open our arms and embrace the light. Basking in the light and letting the insights settle in us. 
2. Do this through guided meditation for those who cannot physically do the sunflowering stretch. 
5. Closing - bringing back to the session
1. Take aways
2. Confirm next schedule

I will just have it confirmed - Sunflowering (physically or guided meditaion) will be cemented as part of the session. 

Opening options:

- Silent meditation (optional drumming if not on zoom)

- Lectio Divina (I will have an option, but if they brought an offering that is AWESOME)

- Visio Divina (Tarot Card if they are comfortable; painting otherwise. same^)

- Guided breathing meditation