Not off the deep end yet

So due to unforeseen circumstances and a hectic  schedule  I have missed many, if not most, of my doses of meds this past week. It's hitting me. Hard. Tuesday I had to leave work early, an s since somone was being petty it ended up ugly. Then last night it was chaotic at bistro and although I kept it together until I got off, I fell apart. My anxiety is telling me I'm going to get fired. And then last night I was suicidal.

If it was ever a question it is now clear to me that I def have not outgrown my need for my meds.  But I havnt hurt myself (thank the gods for my self control) or anyone else (which is an even bigger miracle).
 I havnt gone off the deep end. Not yet. And it can only get better from here since I've gotten to my meds again.

grad school thoughts again - EDITED

guys...i might actually have to go to iowa..... i don't know if i could afford online grad schools..... but:


https://the-artifice.com/genre-fiction-university-writing-programs/
http://www.sfwa.org/2013/01/mfa-programs-and-you/

**** MORE OPTIONS!!!!!!!

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2007/08/where-great-writers-are-made/306032/
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2007/08/the-best-of-the-best/306049/

Residencies

• http://mfaenglish.olemiss.edu/
• fully funded AND pays you stipend WITHOUT requiring you to teach.
• does it allow popular fiction - ?
• Accepts 5-6
• https://lsa.umich.edu/writers/graduate-students/prospective-students/frequently-asked-questions.html
• fully funded. monthly stipend for rent and living expenses. 
• they are critical of genre fiction, but say if it is your thing, then send it in. 
•  Accepts 12
•  https://michener.utexas.edu/program/fiction/
• each admitted student receives a Michener Fellowship of $27,500 per academic year, plus remission of all required tuition and fees. 
• does it allow genre fiction - ??
•  Accepts 6-8 (poets and fiction... so 3-4 each)

https://writersworkshop.uiowa.edu/graduate-program/graduate-program

•   $4,713 per semester - but there are lots of financial aid options that could cover up to all of the tuition, some do even more!
•  https://writersworkshop.uiowa.edu/graduate-program/financial-aid
• Accepts 25

online:

• https://www.setonhill.edu/academics/graduate-programs/writing-popular-fiction-mfa/
•   $734 per credit https://www.setonhill.edu/admissions/tuition-financial-aid/graduate-programs/tuition-fees/
• financial aid? - fafsa

• https://usm.maine.edu/stonecoastmfa/popular-fiction-stonecoast-0
•  "e tuition" price for only online $491.00.... but idk if thats what i would pay because of the week long residencies? so $1,063.00 per credit hour
•  http://usm.maine.edu/student-financial-services/tuition-and-fees
• fafsa and 3 other options to apply for. http://usm.maine.edu/scholarships#quicktabs-scholarships_qt_block=3

• http://www.western.edu/academics/graduate/creative-writing/genre-fiction/course-sequence
•  700$ per credit hour... 8400 per semester. 
•  fund raising??? so the amount they can help with is unknown
• http://www.western.edu/academics/graduate/graduate-programs-western/graduate-program-creative-writing-low-residency-mamf-14
• http://www.western.edu/academics/graduate/graduate-programs-western/graduate-program-creative-writing-low-residency-mamfa-8

• http://www.wcsu.edu/writing/mfa/MFA%20letter.asp
•   $12,607.50 - the financial aid its kinda...iffy? need to read further. 
•  http://www.wcsu.edu/registration/grad-tuition/
• http://www.wcsu.edu/writing/mfa/MFAScholarships.asp

Past few days

okay so in the past few days:

• I passed the test and now officially work as a server. And foodlion. Yay.
• I pulled a tendon in my hand and acquired $400+ in medical bills to get it checked out.
• I found out that my cruise mate aparently forgot that I sent her the information she needed back in July and hasn't made a single payment towards her half of the cruise. Ah also just got fired from her job. I might have to pay both halves and go alone. 
• Hallie turned 20.

And that's about it I think. 

textbooks fall 2017

amazon- all bought

• sophocles tragedies
• bloody chamber
• odessy

chegg - all due in december 

• classic myth
• theogany and work
• great fairy tale traditions
• taking sides crime and criminology

Not a dude

so future match is not a dude. Just a chick who is more masculine energy than feminine and who's strong god is cernnunos. Yay.

Run down

let me give you a run down; since it's been a while.


I got a second job because foodlion is wearing on my mental health. If I can memorize the menu of this second job and pass the training then j actually have the job. I start training on Friday as a preliminary type thing. When I get the job I will essentially be making wife what I make at foodlion for half the hours; which is perfect for school.


There is some big bad event coming up in my future, sometime between now and winter break that is going to pretty much rock my world and make me really look into who I am. It's going to solidify me spiritually but it's going to really hurt emotionally. But... once I start healing fro whatever event this is? I'm going to meet the jet actual "love" in my life. Not a relationship - lord knows i havnt actually been in love with most of my relationships - but my next actual love will come once I begin healing and strengthening my spirituality. Kicker? It's gonna be a dude. A witchy dude that sees me and accepts me faerie faith.

But yeah this big bad event is essentially a sucker punch I'm not going to see coming even though I know it's coming?

So; good news and bad news, and good news again.

But I've been busy. Moved into apartment; Hallie's an awesome roommate. Been working 40 hours a week. I'm always tired. mentally wearing thin. Spiritually starting to grow. Honestly just want to cuddle right now.

That's what you missed last episode in Lisa's mundane life.