Birthday Plans

Official Birthday Plans

Take my Statistics exam from 12-4. 

feed cats. 

CAKE AND WINE AT MATTHEW'S --> bonfire --> burn the last romantic-emotional ties...

--> "Brigid take the emotions invested in this past relationship and anchor and help me to forge a bond just as strong with one who is deserving"--> maybe cry a little. 

Go Drinking at Aj Mcmurphies :) --> invite EVERYONE 

Beautiful - Nov 27th

Its amazing to me how easy it is to forget that I am beautiful. 

I went to the ren faire for the first time and was amazed at how gorgeous everyone was... I forgot that I too wore something visually appealing. It wasn't until the end of the day that I noticed men were actually drawn to me//found me beautiful. I was given several compliments and I'm sure a few inappropriate comments from one man if Aaron hadn't been there (apparently everyone thought he was my boyfriend). But I started noticing looks from guys passing by. (pretty sure the one or two looks I got from women were about my outfit -  because it looked good.)

Then a few days ago, out of nowhere, my roommate Adam as he is passing by my room (on a day I felt gross and full blown moldy potato) says "you are just so beautiful. Like a real life anime girl, just so beautiful with your dark hair and dark eyes". Repeatingly calling me beautiful. 

VB has said he thinks I am the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. While I know for a fact that can't be true i know he is being utterly sincere... which makes me wonder if I am somehow glamouring him unawares... which means that he bring out my faerie energy naturally.... which makes him seem even more perfect. 

It is so easy to forget that I am beautiful. Even on days when I don't feel ugly, on days i do my make up... I just forget. I think of myself as plain... until someone somehow in small ways remind me, that i am. in fact. beautiful. 

Bleeding Heart - Nov 27

Its a very hard thing to process and handle when something is going wrong because of a magick thing.... and you are forbidden from helping with more magic because then the bad thing spreads. 

helping would hurt me and my family.

but not helping hurts. 

It feels like my heart is bleeding. 

admiration

so... what i'm feeling for viking boy is more than just.... "hes so cute omg i'm going to explode"

although i do find him aesthetically atractive ... i mean.. THOSE BLESSED BLUE EYES UGH KILL ME NOW...

but its honestly more than skin deep.

• He is so patient.... like he doesn't get anoyed when i'm being overly emotional or moody.
• He's understanding... he tries his best to help when i have a panic attack (which ha already happened during sex twice now? in like a month? :/ ) 
• He's understanding about my mental health and knows that there will be time periods where i am a roller coaster... (we're not gonna mention how my cpstd might be manifesting as borderline....) because oh boy has my bipolar changed over the years and am i REALLY FEELING IT NOW MR. KRABS. 
• He's so willing to LEARN. He enjoys researching things he doesn't know or understand all that much.. this includes spiritual or reigious things... lifestyle things (i'm inroducing him to BDSM - he didn't know about the non sexual aspects and lifestyle parts.... its a slow process but he is at least willing to try and learn about it which is awesome). 
• He listens... if i say something isn't okay or i don't something he does, he listens and actively tries to do better. might take a reminder or two but he listens and adapts. 
• He's not phased by much... as overly emotional as I am... he's the water to my fire.... he soothes me. if i'm moody and depressive - he gives me kisses ad cuddles... if i'm manic and hyper as FUCK he plays with me and keeps me contained. He adapts and takes almost everything in stride. he moves like water around obstacles and just keeps going...
• He has an amazing outlook on life.... he has been through so much already (hes only 23!) and yet somehow still has a sunny disposition and an optimistic view on life. He smiles and knows that eventually he will get to where he needs to go.
• He makes me feel so safe... both in that I don't ever need to worry about him having eyes for anyone else. ever. and I know he won't physically hurt me (and boy I would like to see anyone try to hurt me with him around.....) Even though he is capable of great violence I know that I have that in defense of me and it won't ever be used against me. 
• He is brave. Ie wouldn't hesitate to step infront of me or protect me or shield me from something that makes me uncomfortable. He's not the kind to run from a fight and won't hesitate to confront someone. 
• He is honest.... while he may not say what hes thinking all the time, he at least is sincere when he speaks. It shows on his face and in his expressive eyes... even if the truth is unpleasant he will say it. (now.. lets admit he can be biased.... but he says his truth.) But he also has tact.

Both my mom and my cat adore him. 

hell - even Queen Mab, one of the coldest more aloof goddesses I work with adores him. 

He makes me happy... and I think given enough time I could really come to love him. 

marketing project

• Mission Statement: Our mission is to combine the sanctuary for humans and mustangs to offer an experience of healing and freedom.

• Creating a Branding Strategy, including logos, slogans, advertisements, fonts, etc. for I AM HEARD

• Rough draft of the written part due tomorrow!!??????
• we need a group mission statement
• executive summary explaining who we are and what we want to do 
• situation alaysis explaining how we see the client and their goals as well as challenges they are facing 
• Decision: the offical advice we recomend and why (colors, fonts, logos, slogans, etc)
• "Alternatives" things we considered and why, but didn't go with and why. 
• Plan of action: how to go about the advice we settled on?
• include any images or alterations done to images, logos, etc. I would include bsuiness cards and such. 
• include any other important notes or thoughts
• WE NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN DO PHOTOSHOP

• We need a 10min video presentation that is a light summary of our written document explaining why they should choose us to be a consultant for their 

Toxic

Last night I came to the realization that as happy as my relationship with Jimmie had made me... it wasn’t a healthy one. I also realized that everything I had been doing in terms of Jimmie, what I was allowing and thinking or contemplating has been toxic. I’ve refused to Set boundaries and was allowing him to hurt and manipulate me (either intentionally or not).

I also realized that  Viking Boy is so much healthier for me. That when out side by side there is no way jimmie beats him in terms of treatment, temperament, and outlook on life. Viking boy is healthier for me to be with and he showed up in my life just in time to prevent me from going back to jimmie.

So last night, as hard as it was, I actively  chose the potential of life with Viking Boy over the dream life I thought I would have with Jimmie.
I closed the door on what I thought my life would be.

I thought I was going to throw up. I wanted to cry.
But I realized this is what is best for me and I was doing the right thing.
Last night I let go of something that I loved so much, but had grown toxic to my well being.

Discussion Board 12

• Consider the concept of integrated marketing communications (IMC).  Select any company you like and do some investigating about their use of IMC in developing and executing their promotional strategies.  Look for evidence through their media and messages. 
• What evidence leads you to conclude they are or are not successfully practicing an IMC approach?  Be specific and connect the evidence to the discussion of IMC in the chapter.
• Is there evidence that the firm practices internal marketing?  If so, please share what you found that leads you to this conclusion.  If not, speculate on how internal marketing would be of value to the organization.
• For this or any firm, what are the major advantages of taking an IMC approach?  What are the downsides of not practicing IMC?

I chose Starbucks as one of my favorite companies. I found an article that I will quote that articulates my thoughts perfecty: "Visually, the Starbucks brand is undeniable. Travel to any major city around the world, and quite a few less major ones, and you’ll see the familiar Starbucks face peering at you from coffee cups held by passersby. You’ll identify a place to get the coffee you love in an airport, or wandering down some strange new street (https://www.waxmarketing.com/imc-campaign-of-the-month-starbucks-well-everything/)." 

I know from talking directly to friends of mine who currently or have worked for starbucks that they do have an internal marketing strategy, usually through a "secret menu" which can involve different recipes that only baristas know or have made for each other (at least thats what I was told it started out as). They also get perks such as free coffee to take home and 30% discount off of beverages they order. 

IMC is always advantageous because its all about the best forms of communication and making sure that all things going out about the company is on the same page. A downside to not using it is that miscommunications can occur easily, at foodlion there were always problems involving confusion about pricing and what items were ment to be put where because there was very poor communication.

• Think of a situation you’ve experienced in which some communication process you were involved in did not go as well as it might have.  Any kind of communication will work for the example – it doesn’t have to be marketing communications.  Using the Communication Process Model (Exhibit 12.6) and accompanying discussion as a guide, systematically retrace the steps of that communication experience through the elements of the model and identify (a) where the problems occurred and (b) what could have been done differently at each problem step to make the communication experience better.

I can give an example that happened to my mother just the other day involving our car insurance (and technically me because I am part of the plan). After my younger sister was dropped from the car insurance plan there were lots of miscommunication errors between the insurance and my mother involving pricing, wether or not she would be covered over the next month or how much was owed or not owed. After everything was finally settled they informed my mom that despite her not owing anything and the matter was solved, she would still be getting something in the mail saying her bill was past due. Granted they warned her and told her to completely ignore it, but the fact that it was still going on and there were miscommunications at every step shows a clear issue with their communication processes. 

• Consider a major purchase you have made recently.  Review the AIDA model (Exhibit 12.7) and accompanying discussion.
• Think back on the process that led up to your purchase and reconstruct the types of promotion that you experienced during each stage of the AIDA model.  Which of the promotional forms was most effective in your situation, and why?

• As you reconstruct this purchase experience and the promotional messages you received during it, what other promotion mix elements that you did not experience at the time might have been effective in convincing you to make the purchase?  At what stage of the AIDA model would they have been helpful, and in what ways do you believe they might have impacted your decision process?

I legitimately cannot remember the last "major" purchase I made other than when I picked which apartment I would be living in.  The most successful promotional form was awareness. My roommate was researching apartment options and this new apartment complex (still being built) had already been added to a database where prospective clients. This prompted us to go in person where we were then given brochures and a tour as well as hearing actual testimonials from people who lived in other apartment complexes run by the same company (action). In all honesty I feel like the apartment complex has done a decent job of hitting all areas, they are present in apartment databases (awareness), have excellent web presence (interest), have plenty of information to give out through brochures and promotions in person (desire and action). 

2 years

Today would have made 2 years.

I can’t figure out if I miss the relationship or if I miss jimmie.


In hind sight he really did take me for granted... we fought all the time.
As happy as I was the relationship was just as bipolar as I am... constant ups and downs.
That’s not healthy....

But I was happy.

But I’ve got something new and I can see the growth and potential... I have got to let go of the past.
This new relationship is slow and peaceful...
Something totally strange.

I have to be willing to let it grow and stop joking into the branches of a dead tree.
It had its chance.
We had our chance.

It would have been 2 years..

Crying.

I knew this would happen.

Everything was going to happen in November.

I would be allowed to do future readings again - finally.
What would have been our two year anniversary.
The 6 month marker of our break up.

This was when I was going to approach Jimmie about getting back together.
I also suspected that this was when (if he ever) he would come to realize he made a mistake.


I wasn’t wrong.

But now I am with someone else... and as much as I have been having premonitions about what Jimmie said to me tonight, and how much I have wanted him to say those words...

I’m happy with Viking Boy.

I am with someone that I can be childlike with and carefree. I havnt been with  someone that I can be this silly and playful with since...Jake.
VB has so much potential.. I’m not going to throw that away. I can’t, I feel that I both have to and want to see where it goes.

But I also feel like my heart is breaking all over again.

I want to scream.
And run.
And numb my brain out.

I’m crying.

I just have to wait until I’m in my car to let the tears fall.

Transparency: nevermind

You know what? After typing that up last night I felt better.

I don’t think its actually necessary to have that talk with him... I really am happy with him and everything I said in the blogpost was true. I do think I’m starting the “falling” process. I’m not in love with him yet, but I can easily say that I adore biking boy.

What I had with Jimmie took years of repressed feelings and intense healing to occur. I can’t expect that level of intensity with Viking boy, I’m not worried about it. I’m happy and carefree. There is real potential there, I think.

No need to bring up the past unless it’s going to have a real affect on the current relationship. No need to stir up any uncomfortable and unnecessary feelings when there is no threat.

It’s odd.

I had a dream last night that I cheated on VB with Jimmie and then after reflecting on it, I realized how attached to him I am. How happy I get when I talk about him.

I’m excited to get to know more about him.
I’m excited to see how things go with him.
He’s very much in the present moment and I like how when I’m with him, so am I.

Do I still think of Jimmie when I hear most live songs? ... yes.
Do I think that will fade? Eventually, with more time.

Which is why I say Nevermind to my previous post. Unless I still feel the same way farther down the road, I don’t see why VB needs to know how far I was planning on going with Jimmie.

New cycle of life.
I need to embrace it.

transparency: practice

This is to mostly get my thoughts in order for when I talk to Viking Boy.... I'm probably going to over think and be extra wordy here and then panic when i go to talk to him and give a super short version but alas... at least with this i will have a kind of outline in my head.

"Hey so... I think youre amazing. You make me feel safe and happy. Like I said the other night, I can be relaxed and carefree with you. When i'm with you I can just be me....well,  there has been one thing thats been weighing on me. Communication is really important to me and I don't want anything hidden between us.... so I feel like I need to talk to you about my relationship with Jimmie. 

So... I'm a all or nothing type of person. I hate to say 'ride-or-die' but I really am. I was so serious about Jimmie that I was saving up to buy him an engagement ring, I was that dedicated to him and our relationship. I was certain that I was going to marry him... which is why its been such a struggle for me to get over him. I am actively trying to get over him and i'm not hanging out with him anymore. When I get into a relationship with someone i'm serious about them... and that transfers over to you. 

I want you to know that while i am with you, I am all about you and only you. You make me happy and I am excited to see where things go with you. I don't want you to feel threatened by him or by the fact that I am keeping him in my life, especially because it is at arms length. But I felt you had a right to know how significant a role he played in my life. I know that my feelings for you are growing and are only going to continue to grow, i'm not worried about Jimmie and I don't want you to either, I just wanted to have total transparency." 

Assignment 3 Notes

OKAY so assignment 3 is the biggest one for my stats class and its due Fri the 22.)

I will need a population size.

(1)Choose any city in the South. Go to a multiple listing service of your choice on the internet (ie you could use Zillow.com, Trulia, or any other MLS site). 
- Randomly sample 30 houses from the total population of all single family houses on the market in that city.  The variable of interest on which you are collecting information is the listing price(or you may use selling price) of the house.  Be sure that you include a table using the format you used in Assignment 2 reporting the data you collected.

(2)conduct a hypothesis test about the mean value of the listing price of Single family homes in that location.  The test you are conducting is trying to prove if the mean listing price of houses in the city you chose is significantly different from $326,600[average home price for houses in the  South 3rd quarter, 2019 (FRED,.2019)]. Conduct the test at the .05 level of significance.

(3)Write a report of this process and your results and implications.

Points to Consider when Writing a Statistical Case

There are generally 4 main sections when writing a statistical case. (see below) Please include just the names of these subheadings in your paper (without the letters a, b, c, and d.)

1. Introduction: This section must include a statement(s) regarding the main
objective of the case.  It also includes any other background information (especially about the city that you sampled) that is relevant concerning why this case is being undertaken and how this analysis might prove useful.  By this I mean demographic or other relevant information on the city you chose that would pertain to the real estate market you chose. This discussion should be thorough in its description of the real estate market chosen, as well as all relevant related variables, such as per capital income, age of residents, size of population, etc. Your objective statement for the assignment is what you're trying to prove via the hypothesis test about the price.


2. Sampling Procedure: This section includes a discussion of the random number generator used in the sampling process, specifically a detailed discussion of how the numbers were generated and then used to sample the data from the population.  In this discussion, you must include the date when you sampled the data, the population size, as well as the web source of the data used.   ***Be sure that you appropriately cite all websites or other references used and include a reference page at the end of the case.  Failure to do so is plagiarism and will result in a major deduction of points.  You will include a table in this section showing the properties sampled and their selling prices.  Be sure that the table is numbered and has a title and follows the format given in a sample table attached to this assignment.  The table goes after the text, but before the references.
   
3.. Empirical Analysis:  This section will include the hypothesis test used to
analyze the data.  Be sure that you follow a 5 step hypothesis testing procedure. You must state Ho, Ha, etc.   Be sure to state all assumptions behind the test conducted.
 
4. Conclusion:  Based on the results of your hypothesis test, you must then apply these results to appropriately analyze the situation presented. What do the conclusions of your test tell you practically? How might you use this information in the real estate market or in making personal decisions? Are there any data limitations?


Include References for any in- text citations below the text.
You need a cover sheet.

new cycles

I am officially starting a new cycle in my life.

I quit my, now toxic, job.
I start my new one Monday and I am optimistic.

I am still in the middle of the school semester, but my period of disillusionment has ended.
I now have a direction I want to go in. (I'm going to get my Certificate in Hospitality and be an event coordinator)

I'm with a new romantic partner,
there is real potential there, although I am progressing far slower than I ever have before - which is probably a good thing. Its refreshing not to lose my head.

Even my body seems aware...

My moon cycle has been insanely heavy this time. It started with expelling the worst first - I was bleeding black. And now my body seems to be resetting itself 100%...

This will be a uterus lining that never experienced him.

A total reset.

a new start to a new cycle of my life.

quit.

I start my new job on monday.
I quit Bistro.

Mrs. Heather coaxed the truth out of me.
I couldn't stay after that...

I couldn't stay after she confronted him.

trying to tell myself its not my fault.

But she was so pained and horrified.

The only thing left is hoping Lexi can grab my stuff that I left at the bar (headbands, my jacket, some lipstick) and fills in the tip sheet that I forgot to do so I get paid for my last night.

Picking up my last paycheck.

Getting my W2's.

Then I will be 100% done with him.