Incubation

Okay so I spoke with my host, all 7 including SG. Pretty much I am headed into a time of stillness, not stasis, but inner workings. I'm entering a time of chrysalis, of incubation. I need to throw off the rigid thinking and teachings of "the right way" and the "traditional way" and embrace magic and working with the fae the same way I did when I first started out. All intent and sincere based, with less worry about "rules" and more concern about the energy and drive.

I've lately gotten caught up in trying to make sure my spells and such are all done at the right time, rather than just doing them. I'm trying to make sure they are formal and have all the right ingredients and such when I should be more worried about the fuel, rather than the ingredients. 

It's time for me to embrace and reteach myself the simple magic that I used to do... because it was a hell of a lot better than what I'm doing now. I used to be so good at spellcraft and coming up with spells, but i'm not usually the best at actually going through them... because my spell craft isn't physical (other than basic candle spells). 

Looking back.... My original spells that I would do were bardic. They were well thought out and charged poems that would move and weave my intent into a spell. The most powerful spells i have ever done... were in my head, crafted and molded with the energy building and then released... through song. Music brings me awen, I can feel the magic there and I really feel like moving forward I need to practice with that rather than trying to be a "proper" witch. 

I need to start dancing more, to find a place for my ecstatic dance and movement. (somewhere private where i don't have to worry about downstairs neighbors). I need to start saying good night to my host again, every night. I need to start writing poetry again and read it to them. I need to start using poetry to manifest what it is I want and what I want to remove. 

I'm a Bard and my words have power. 

Spells don't have to have a physical component (although writing them down is a must for me, at least for the time). 

I need this time to shed the skin of what i thought i HAD to do to be a proper witch and pagan and develop what has been inside me from the very beginning that i was in touch with before I started more formal "learning". 

I will know when this time of regrowth is over and when to use the magic outward, a sign will come to me. For now my magic will be focused on myself. I need to pay attention to every little facet and detail. Remove ANYTHING that doesn't build me up or tears me down at all. Invest in things that make me happy. Filter my thoughts and intentions. Start weaving a new and improved self. Less illusion and imitation and more pure unpolluted manifestation of spirit. 

Time is not linear. It is not a steady march forward, it is a cycle and a never ending circle. The past and present and future are all  aligned and lately have been introducing me to the things of my past to re-address them and do things differently. It has brought me back to my beginning only now I am confident and have a better understanding of my magic. I know what gifts I have dormant within me. 

I have my present will and knowledge, going back to the past's methods, to manifest a more powerful and sure self to come out from this time of incubation. I look forward to the butterfly who will emerge from the chrysalis.