Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Bright

This light is an assault, 
the warmth of the cave gone, 
A new world surrounds, wind biting into flesh and bone, yet the pain is tolerable. 
.
All around is bright.
- Eyes, in reflex, are all but forced shut-
like sunlight reflected off  snow as far as the eye can see. 
.
Startling and strange, 
coming from the dark cave 
whos blackness embraces, warm and sensual, mysterious and full of wonder. 
.
The security has been shed, 
now like a bird flapping its wings for the first time, leaving the nest
falling,      flying,      into what it is that life has in store - the hard ground or the heavens? 
.
No longer is there shelter overhead, 
the bright sky and white desert of light
there is no more answers in the brightness of day, blinding, than in the comfort of the dark. 
.
One step forward, 
neck aching to look back, but eyes pulled to the front,
eagerly devouring every sight, tasting moving air on tongue, arms outstretched in waiting.  
.
The crunch of ice beneath foot, 
the sting of icey air in wet warm lung, contrast that invigorates;
out of the egg and into the world, fear and wonder are one and the same. 
.

Saturday, February 20, 2021

direction

 I finally got direction for my life. More to come. 

Monday, February 8, 2021

self help homework

 Homework. 

So I need to get myself out of this rut. 
I really need to stop dwelling on how lonely I am. 
Its a loneliness that isn't satiated by platonic relationships but at the same time my problem is I don't know how to be happy single. Even when I finally hit a place where i was more or less comfortable with being single, i kept my eyes and heart open. It took over a year for me to finally let go of the loneliness - and it was more or less that I grew accustomed to it rather than it went away. 

Soi need to do some homework. 
I need to do some reading for improving myself, something to do while I sit on the couch other than watch greys anatomy. 

short and inspirational:
https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Being-Single-Fulfilled-ebook/dp/B00SEXD49O

Self development 
https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Who-You-Are-Transformation/dp/1726635139/ref=pd_vtp_1?pd_rd_w=IAYwh&pf_rd_p=6f2e6f76-fb8a-492e-b0f6-a03aecd27de3&pf_rd_r=GZSZQE86R7BBQW3AAP0E&pd_rd_r=12f1d6bf-adf4-4d71-be6f-7d96287210af&pd_rd_wg=97i2C&pd_rd_i=1726635139&psc=1

Lilith shadow work?
https://www.amazon.com/Lilith-Shadow-Work-Journal-contemplations/dp/1674923430