Okay, so I have never been more anti-romance, anti-relationship, and anti-valentines day in my life.
I am single on Valentines day and i am content with that. Nay... I am happy with that.
Which is why I have been thrown for a loop with the Sapphic couple I've been in a mild flirtationship because they asked me to be their valentine....
what?
Last I understood, they were ENM; mildly open relationship where they were more so interested in a friends with benefits situation and not interested in a romantic relationship what so ever. Which I was fine with. Friends who kiss - honestly for where I'm at in life this is perfect.
They came over the other day and hung out for like 6 hours, and we had a ball just all chilling and talking and eventually yeah there was some kissing and touching. But i'm not like.. eager to do that again. Its fun if the mood is fitting i guess, but like i'm not seeking it out. (I only see them every few weeks anyway)
I feel like theres been a shift since then? Like Valentines day is a day to shower your romantic partner with love and romantic gestures. A day to focus on that love... I feel a bit odd about them asking me to be their valentine. I feel like it could mean 3 things,
1. They want to get try and get physical again and Valentines day is a good excuse/reason to
2. They might be opening up to the idea of dating me
or (hopefully)
3. They just want to hang out and see me, and thought this would be a good opportunity?
If the first ... I hope they don't just expect for that to happen. In fact I reached out to one of them to ask what their expectations are for the night.
If the second.... I need to know so I can nip that in the bud. Because while at first i was open to pursuing something romantic (they weren't) and am definitely not trying to now.
and option 3? It wouldn't make much sense because again.... Valentines is a romantic day, why would you want to spend it with a friend who lives over an hour away when you could spend it with your significant other?
I am just confused. I am flattered. but I am confused, and possibly getting into my head about it? I just want to manage expectations so no one ends up disappointed. Because if people end up disappointed, then I end up upset and feeling guilty.
The one i asked hasn't messaged me back and i'm really going to need to her do so soon lol before i just back out of seeing them that day completely.
Because I had plans originally.
I was going to buy gourmet cupcakes and roses for the monthly movie night for the residents at my job, we were gonna watch a movie, and then during the day I was going to drive around to the other student living properties and bring everyone roses. Then after work I was going to either watch another romance movie, watch a tv show, or cuddle my cats and read a book.
Nice. Peaceful. Happy.
Now I have to think about entertaining guests after working a 10 hour shift at work.
Which honestly I can probably use as my excuse to get out of it...
This is why i'm staying single. This shit is exhausting.
I love Valentines day. I was looking forward to it, as a single woman. But now people want my attention and I'm feeling like a valentines scrooge.
BAH HUMBUG
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