Manipulated.

 This weekend was supposed to be a light hearted weekend of relaxation and celebration. The weekend after the most stressful two weeks at my job. The weekend before my big move. The weekend of my sister’s baby shower. 

And 30 minutes away from the airport, after driving an hour with no time to change plans - my aunt drops a fucking bomb on me. Cara is coming. 

For anyone who doesn’t remember Cara is my younger sister that I have gone no contact with (other than wishing her a happy birthday to prove I remember she exists and I don’t hate her). She is a venomous, arrogant, entitled cunt that I cut out of my life about two years ago because I had enough of her verbal abuse. 

She took any and every opportunity to trash talk me to anyone who would listen. INCLUDING MY FRIENDS - who naturally told me every time she did this. She not only spoke ill of me, but actively wished and celebrated the idea of my failure and misery. 

She all but said that regardless of YEARS of therapy, medication, emotional and mental growth and maturity, that I was a walking threat to myself and society that could go off at any moment at the slightest inconvenience. Over something I said as a hormonal teenager with untreated bipolar. 

In front of a guest. 

While eating food that I MADE for her.

While I was HELPING her by watching her asshole of cat even though he almost sent mine to the ER because her bad life decisions weren’t his fault. 

In MY home. 

And you know what I did? I waited until she left, sent a polite but firm text saying that she would not ever speak to me like that again. So she started BRAGGING to people that I picked a fight with her and she was going to cut me off “to teach me a lesson” as soon as she got her cat from me. 

And when she picked up her cat and started in on me, I actually stood up for myself. She called me a bitch and left with her cat. As soon as she was gone I saved her the trouble of blocking me, I blocked her and removed her from my life in all ways except for phone number in case of a life or death emergency. 

I could no longer tolerate such a blatant and hateful person in my life. Cutting her out was the best thing I had done for myself in a long while. 

And then. With no warning, although people were aware that she and I were no-contact, I get tricked into spending a weekend trapped with her. 

And nothing has changed. She is still nothing but condescending, taking any chance to speak to me like I’m beneath her and stupid, jumping at any chance to make me seem foolish infront of others, and continuously passive aggressive. I couldn’t make it through a single fucking day without wishing I didn’t ever have to see her again. 

And that was after I was stupid and actually worried about her while we were traveling. Offered to help her with her carry on bag. Tried to make sure she wasn’t totally alone or left behind. 

…

She’s just fucking mean. 

And I was manipulated into having to be around her again. I was robbed of my last weekend I could have spent with friends that are supportive and kind, and who I very well may not ever get to see again. 

If I had been told she was coming then I could have weighed the pros and cons; maybe I would have decided a weekend with her miserable ass was worth seeing my sister carrying my niece. Maybe I would have decided, as I very much wish I could have done, that - no I was not going to put myself back into a situation where I am never at ease or comfortable, constantly disrespected and belittled, And decided to attend the baby shower virtually. 

At the fucking least I would have been mentally prepared to put up with her. Instead I get to bite my tongue to keep the peace, save face so that no one else has to be uncomfortable, and just seethe. 

And wrestle with the fact that someone i trusted blatantly manipulated me.

Great fucking weekend.