What’s the point

I started back at Foodlion today.

Then I worked a bistro shift.

I remember this tiredness. The ill mood that goes with it. The sense of hopelessness. The aching body.  The dread at having to do it all again tomorrow.

I tasted freedom for two months. I couldn’t afford it.

If working so much is what I need to do to afford to live then what’s the fucking point?

I’m so tired and I’ll that all I want to do is cry and go to sleep. No eating. No socializing.
No energy.

I’m so fucking tired and I have to do it again. And again. And again.

Fuck this feeling.
Fuck Foodlion.

Just fuck everything.

I don’t want to have  I work two jobs.

I don’t want to have to move in with people that I really don’t think is going to work out.

I don’t want to be struggling any fucking more.

I’m tired of it.

I’m over 500$ in the hole because of that fucking trip to see Racheal - did she help at all? No. She laughed.

I went on that fucking black hole of water money and time  - excuse me, the cruise. That was 2000$ in the hole.

Now I have 1900$ from school.

I feel like I’m never going to get out.

I really don’t want to wake up tomorrow.