Reflect

So I have been in a car for 10+ hours and have had plenty of time to reflect.

I’m 100% okay with how things have turned out.

The cards and bones predicted a fight and hurt feelings.
Check.

They predicted I would lose friends (probably from college)
Check.

This was suppose to happen.
I’m okay with it.

Because I haven’t felt like I belonged in the group for a very long time.  I’ve felt like I’m was just a floater. And apparently I was.

I don’t blame Amy for not wanting to be. Friends with me.

I just want everyone to be happy.

Maggie and our are happy.
Jimmie and I are happy.
I would hope Any and Brooks are happy.
B and Aaron? Well there happiness may still be a work in progress but I wish them well.

And if the groups happiness is improved by my absence then good.

But this is needed.

I’ve been seeing moths and grasshoppers everywhere.
Meaning a time of change is needed to increase my life’s joy. And that I will be taking uncanny leaps forward in life.

Some friends are meant to stay with me, others are not.
I’ve just come to accept it.

I learned a lot from the group, new styles of doing divination (I need to get me a Russian tarot deck) and while I hope they stay safe in their practices, I’m almost a bit...  relieved. I no longer feel that I have to constantly prove myself or feel that I am not trusted and unwelcome. I  never really felt like my magic or energy mixed well with theirs. I have learned what it feels like to channel a goddess and while it is exhilarating, I don’t foresee the need nor do I have the desire to do it. I would be more interested in manifesting my own goddess energy again.

I’m looking forward to growing spiritually, and it seems that I’ve always done that best with more light energy. I’m not scared of the dark by any means but I look forward to seeing where my growth lies now.

I feel lighter.

I go forward with no negative emotions and honestly with them the best.

I’m just curious as to what life will bring me next.