bland

life feels.... kind of bland.

Since i no longer have a day job, i stay up super late and sleep all day. get up, eat, get about an hour, maybe 2, of house work (packing and cleaning for the move) and go to work. Work till 11, come home and spend an hour or two with jimmie before he has to go to bd.... either stay up and watch netflix with diana or go home...

repeat.

I'm glad jimmie is happy with his new job. I am. It is so easy to see how much happier he is.

but i miss him. and if this is just a taste of how its going to be? it sucks. cuddles on the couch for an hour or two. then bed.  If im lucky, i get to see him on his lunch break.

Maybe i;m just emotional since im going to start my cycle soon. but it makes me sad. I already miss spending the day with him; running errands, watching shows, just... being with him. And yes, eventually that will fade and i will get use to just seeing him for a few hours a day. I just got spoiled i guess.

but i know myself. it mans that  i am going to start isolating myself so that i stop missing him. It also means bottling up anything going wrong because i don't want to ruin the time that i do get to spend with him.

bury things and isolation.

maybe im just being pessimistic.
i don't know.


I do know that everything is fading to a dull grey. I'm losing motivation to do anything. im bored, i miss my boyfriend, and life seems bland.