Passing the time

I don’t know what I doing.
I can’t belive I actually left the apartment. Packed a bag, and walked about.
And he’s most likely not even going to remember anything that fucking happened.

He hurt me. Emotionally and physically. I might need to find my wrist brace.

I feel betrayed. I felt fear... now I mostly feel rage.

He didn’t hit me. But he shoved me hard enough where if my head had made contact with that side table, I would have been seriously hurt. Thankfully I missed it. Barely.

And it was so sudden... one second he’s leaning his head to mine, the next I’m airborne.

So now I’m at Amy’s. Trying to sleep in the nest I made in her closet.
It’s the same thing from last night... I can’t sleep without him.

So it looks like I’m going to pull an all nighter.

I’ve got at least 8 hours to kill before he wakes up.
Probably even longer before he contacts me. And I refuse to go home before he contacts me.

Fae wanted to hurt him. Still does. He is now a possible threat in her eyes.
I just want to cry. I want to be held and made to feel safe... but I don’t want him to touch me.

He could have seriously hurt me. As in, a trip to the hospital kind of hurt. And he didn’t even realize he did it? How can I trust someone like that?

I’m not leaving him as long as he agrees to the two previously stated conditions. But I also feel so lost right now. I was so scared. I honestly thought as I fell that I would 100% hit the corner with my head.

I wish I was home with my cats. Then I might be more likely to get some sleep.
But I left and couldn’t bring them.
I want to go home, but have to wait.

Maybe I’ll sleep in my car.




And I’m starving. The only thing I ate was the crackers-cheese-salami snacks we had earlier.
And the day before that all I had was... 5 breadsticks, 2 pieces of pizza, and some ice cream.

Fuck I need to eat.
And I bet that chicken is still on the counter at home.