Who I am.

why is it that when we as people get asked "tell me about yourself" our brains always go blank? We know ourselves, know how we would describe ourselves, but when put on the spot its just white noise and "ummmm..... what do you want to know?"

is it because we are such complex creatures?

I know the basics of how I would describe myself. Compassionate, sweet, easily excitable, spiritualistic, and naive. 

I also know how i wish others would see me, although I do not know how I am actually perceived. I want to be seen as someone who is almost otherworldly... confidant and in control - of not of my environment then of how I respond to it. I want to be seen as a leader, someone who people can go to for help and comfort, or someone people can go to for problem solving. I want to radiate love, grace, and compassion - I want to be seen as alluring but not just in a physical way. I want to draw people to me and for them to be comforted just by being near me - I want to bring people peace and light just by existing. I want people to see the inner peace and happiness I have and to feel that open up within them too. I want them to see my passion for life and for everything that I do and to draw inspiration from it. 

It is my hope that people will be able to sense that I am otherworldly. I am faerie. That means I am a being of magic and love and power and grace. I want this to be clear to all who see me and interact with me.  When I walk into a room I want it to feel like everyone is breathing in the fresh air of a forest. I want them to feel as if wildflowers are just out of the corner of their eye. 

That is how i want to come off to others. I am far from this goal, but it is one that I can achieve only by knowing and accepting myself in all my perfection and imperfections. I need to reconnect with my higher self and to remember what I am completely. I need to reconnect with who I was, to remember who I am, and when the two combine in harmony I will be who I want to be. 

..

but how to do that?