Wrote these for an assignment only to realize I misunderstood
In my broad and vague definition of the sacred/divine, in terms of Spirit as ultimate reality and the existence of personal gods, how will I reconcile with myself if I find myself changing and pulling away from personal deities?
Spirit is fluid, while not sentient in itself its presence in sentient beings is what brings it to life. My relationship with my gods has gone through several periods of intimacy and distance - they have never held it against me. I know they are patient and have even encouraged me to pursue things outside of their help. If I were to choose to focus more on a humanist and ground of being practice for a while, there would be no resentment. My gods love me… and when they have strong opinions or feel they need to provide a guiding hand they will always find ways to let me know. I may have my own issues with guilt or anxiety, but that will be from within myself - not from them. I think perhaps, in a similar way that I do now, doing a “checking in” reading with them every so often would alleviate a good bit of that anxiety. Afterall, shifting more towards a focus on Spirit, as opposed to the gods, would mean a shift in how I perform witchcraft and put more emphasis on my own abilities without assistance. If anything, they may ultimately encourage me down that route once I am confident enough.
How will I handle rejection and judgment, from clients and coworkers, as a Chaplain whose faith identity is a minority and is often followed by misinformation, fear, and scorn - despite being trained and knowledgeable in multiple faiths?
I have dealt with my fair share of rejection and scorn over my religious identity. I dealt with it all through highschool. I dealt with it once I “came out of the broom closet” by the kids in my church youth group. I was rejected by my own family over various lengths of time. I have developed a thick skin and a very strong ability to mask and adapt to the environment I am in. Chaplains are rejected all the time for a variety of reasons - I simply will learn how to adapt and move forward, finding different ways to connect to people. Essentially… develop a thicker skin and take it on the chin.
How will I handle the anxiety that will ultimately arise throughout my studies as I am introduced to alternative paths and the possibility of changing majors, leading to possibly less job security and more judgment from the people in my life?
I have always found myself to be a very fluid person, open to signs and changes as they approach me. While I do not foresee leaving seminary school, if I feel called to another path through a different degree I will take the time to consider it. I am a long term planner, I look at the job market for different careers and in different states already despite still having 4-5 years before I am board certified. I know my long term goals and aspirations as far as career (to work at a college campus providing interfaith services and eventually to open my own mobile interfaith temple). If something were to happen and I feel called to another degree that may better serve my long term goals, or better align with myself I would owe it to myself to consider. I would make a point not to do anything rash, talk with my therapist, talk with my academic advisor, and look at how the other program compares to my current one. Maybe I stay and add the second degree, maybe the transition would be smooth. I made a promise to myself when I decided to live more authentically that I would not cave to the expectations of others simply because of anxiety. If something feels right and I am moved to follow… I will. There are moments of fate that cannot be escaped and there are thousands of paths to those moments, only the divine knows, and I can only trust the process.
No comments:
Post a Comment