PMS MOOD SWING WARNING

this is an unrelaiable blog post.

i am pms-ing. (yay mood swings)
and tired (yay no filter)

so i'm just going to word vomit.



I feel apathetic.
i feel dull and tired.
so i go to bed.

i can't sleep because i thought popped into my head.

"I havn't read Bree's blog in a while"

so i hop up and read.


it made me think

i am not emotionally devoted to anyone at the moment
i'm just going with the flow
and learning from the teachers Goddess Astarte i sending to me.

i'm still learning things in that arena.

i'm seeing things that are happening as lessons and i'm just going with it.

maybe there wil be a time when its right and she and i will eventually get together.

but now is not that time.


we talk off and on for a few years.
with snapchat it got better, which is awesome.

i love seeing her

but..

idk.

i'm in a time of transition.

learning.

i'm learning about sex and lust, which is interesting and very frustrating.

i'm re-awakening spiritually which is awesome but VERY VERY SLOW and i'm trying not to get frustrated.

i'm still in a cocoon right now.

and i think our time will come when i'm a butterfly.


but since i'm still in my chrysalis, i'm going to enjoy my lessons and go with the flow of knowledge coming to me.


  i will enjoy being a fuzzy adorable catepillar. i look forward to being a butterfly and what wil happen at that time is a mystery.

but for now i will enjoy life as it comes.... to the best of my ability.

and i hope she does the same.

(in hind sight i prolly should have ended the blog here....)


because life is short and it is meant to be lived.

if you don't enjoy life at leat a little bit, thats not living. its surviving.

so i will have fun in my warm cocoon and will patiently wait for my pretty wings.

i love to learn and its interesting.

each step at a time and what is meant to happen will.

enjoy life!
enjoy the now!


speaking of now.... now i need sleep.

word vomit.