Hopeful

For the first time in a long time I feel hopeful of the future. Not the near future but the far future.

In the past thinking of the future left me feeling hopeless. Trapped. Caged. Filled with dread. Fear.

Now? Hope. Excitement.

I actually have an achievable plan for the future. 

I won't go into too many details, lest I jinx it,but I have a plan with my mother that will allow her dreams to come true and mine simultaneously.

I will have my writing career. And be able to coach tennis. 

I have found a way to realistically support myself and be a writer at the same time.

I will be able to devote hours to writing. Letting it engulf me... All the while not be starving and living out of a cardboard box.

In a sense... I will be free, not caged. Doing something that I love and helping out my mother as well.

I will still be exposed to people, I can write, and have tennis in my life.

For the first time I am truly hopeful for the future , instead of scared.

I almost can't wait.