phase 2

I really can't wait for gyms to open back up.

Since I don't really go for walks anymore, although I could go for them on my own even if its harder, I am living a really sedentary lifestyle. I went for a super short walk the other day with Viking Boy and Xander and holy hell I got so tired so quickly.... 

I am at the heaviest that I have ever been. I am not beating myself up over it.... but it does bother me. 

Pretty much the only place I would find myself motivated to be active... was the gym. Even if I was tired and sore, It wasn't a problem in that atmosphere. I could be at the gym for hours. I can't seem to muster the same discipline when at home or walking by myself. 

Plus it provided a sense of control that I miss. There are many things out of my control going on in life right now and its is causing stress in my body in the form of nervous energy. This is presenting in the form of nightmares and self destructive tendencies. 

So, for mental health reasons and for physical health reasons... I cannot wait for the gym to open back up. This should be happening within the next few weeks. Phase 1 just happened, and after 2-3 weeks phase 2 will happen... thats when gyms can operate with limited capacity. 

I look forward to it.