Letters to manifest - healing.

 Supposedly one of the best ways for people to manifest for emotional aspects is to manifest with methods best for their moon sign. I have a Gemini moon. One of the best manifestation methods for Geminis is to write letters to the universe/gods. 

So lets do that. 

Dear Universe, 

I surrender myself to the gods. I surrender my burdens, and I trust in the divine timing. I surrender the timeline I created for myself. I will stop trying to force my life to progress and  I will simply go with the flow of life. Love will come when it is meant to. Roots will grow where they are meant to. That being said... 

• Attn: Brigid
• Brigid you are my life's patron goddess. It is ever so clear in who I am as a person why that is. I trust you. I trust your guidance. I understand *why* this happened, and I am grateful that it was not as traumatic as it could have been. I only seem to learn via thew tower, thank you for not letting me be crushed as it fell. That being said, please help me to rebuild. I am rebuilding with a foundation focused on myself. I want to focus on myself, I want to write, I want to dance, I want to sing. I want to *see* more, I want to *hear*, or at the very least I want to be able to *feel*. I want to manifest a foundation of self love, self belief, and dedication. For that I need help. 
• Attn: Lilith
• Lilith, first I want to say sorry. Everyone is saying that its not my fault, but I truly don't believe that and I want to apologize for letting myself become a victim again. I am sorry I was naïve and foolish. I am sorry I allowed myself to be vulnerable. Thank you for looking out for me and not letting him be able to be successful in hurting me. The experience did what it was meant to; I am sworn off dating. Not only am I disinterested in dating, I am anti-relationship right now. I want to build walls, tall and thick around my heart so that only someone worthy would even attempt to climb them. I ask for your help in this. I ask for your help in freeing myself - for while the walls are important I also do not want to cage myself. Help me to be free, light, and able to be as bright as I want and take comfort in the darkness when I wish. I ask for freedom from the guilt that comes when I allow myself to be in the darkness, and reminded that no one is obligated to my time and energy except myself. I am not a bad person for this. I owe nothing to anyone. I ask also, for help with my hurt and anger. I cannot direct it at others, I only have it towards myself. I need guidance on how to direct it to something productive, that will build me up. (You need patience. Stay in the shadows until you are healed, do not stand in the harsh light until you are ready. *I see an image of me in a black cloak, sanding int he shadow of a wall and being wrapped in it, the shadow. I am not scared. I am at peace.*)
• Attn: Demeter
• Demeter, I need a mothers love right now. Shame has held my tongue from my mom, talking to her would only cause sorrow and worry when she is so far away. So I turn to you. Divine mother... I need comfort. I need tenderness. I cannot give these things to myself, I am too angry. too angry. I need someone to show me that tenderness, wrap me in an embrace and love me until I can love myself again. Then I want to grow. As a goddess of the harvest, this year I want to plant the seeds of self love and self belief. I want to plant the seeds of determination and devotion - both to my gods and to my own power and art. I want to grow in personal power, I want to grow in my faith, I want to grow as a writer. Please help me to grow, so that by the time the harvest has arrived, I can reap the fruits of my growth and manifestation. But right now.. the winter has frozen the soil. My heart is too hard to lay the seed. I need a mothers love right now, to warm me and make my eart tender towards myself. Please. 
• Attn: Kwan Yin 
• Hello Good Lady, in a much similar plea I reach out to you about unconditional love and forgiveness. You love everyone. There is no one who is not worthy of love. As I embrace my shadow for a time, to heal in the dark and eventually merge in the light a better and stronger woman, I will need a reminder that the world is not only cruel, that not all people will hurt me, and that it is safe to be open and vulnerable with others. I do not seek this in a romantic partner. More so, I ask that as I stay in the darkness, cocoon myself for transfiguration, do not let me isolate from my friends and family too much. I will be hermitting, but help me remember that i have love to give to others, and I am worthy of receiving that same love. 
• Attn: Aine
• Aine. I am back. This latest assault was mild, sop mild that I am angry with myself for being so fragile and unnerved by it. I feel as though I am just being dramatic and yet I can't do anything about it. Being around people exhausts me. I do not want to perform because the idea of other people eyes on my body, after having it violated, makes me want to shriek. I love to perform, but I want to hide. I want to hide until I am so strong that when I re-emerge people will flee from me. I want to be looked upon with the same awe and fear, as one may look upon a dragon. I do not want to hide out of fear, but rather out of an intense need to shield myself. Aine, you are a healer. I need healing. As mild as the incident was, I am emotionally torn and raw. I am ashamed. I am angry. I am so very very very very very angry. I have to options, to take this anger I feel towards myself and keep it directed at myself or to send it out and take out innocent bystanders in an attempt to self preserv3e myself. One moment I am so angry I want to hurt myself, the next I want to set the world on fire for people having the gall to even look at me. Neither of these are fair, to anyone. I need help. I need to heal this anger and I am truly at a loss as to how.  I connect you to the element of water. I ask you to please, wash me. Wash me clean. I feel dirty, defiled, and I burn with rage. Wash it away. Wash it all away. Let me soak in your lake waters and feel the coolness wash over me. Let it sooth the anger. Let it make me feel clean and pure again. Aine, out of everyone I am reaching out to, in this moment I believe I need you the most. This anger will burn me and my world up if I do not find a way to put out the flame. 
• Attn: Maeve, 
• Maeve... In much a similar tone to Lilith, I ask your help in building up armor around myself. I own that what happened could have been avoided, but I was foolish. I take accountability for it. and because of that, I harbor so much blame and anger at myself. I know that I will need to pull away from the world while I try to rein this in, for right now it is out of control. Maeve, you are so strong. As a Queen you took what you wanted and you held your ground. You were fast, strong, brave, and fierce. This is what I want. "I want to be looked upon with the same awe and fear, as one may look upon a dragon". Much as you were. I know this stems from a place of... not quite fear, but an intense protective instinct. You are a goddess of personal sovereignty. I fear that I am at the mercy of my emotions, my cptsd is flaring like a forest fire. I need to be reminded there is a difference between taking accountability and totally berating myself over what happened. Please help me with this. But also, please help me to become firm in my boundaries. I need to regain control over my emotions, my body, my life. You are my goddess of magic as well, it is my hope that as I begin to take control back in my life, we can manifest control over the budding abilities I have. I want to grow, in faith and spiritual ability, and in strength and personal power. You are a goddess who can help with it all. 
• Attn: Bast
• Bast... you make me feel safe. As I hide and heal in the dark... please just guard me. Please keep me safe. Remind me that I am safe. "With your graceful stealth anticipate the moves of all who perpetrate cruelties and stay their hands against the children of the light.... and ever watch over us in the lonely places in which we must walk." Our relationship is a quiet one... but I need you now. 

I have 3 gods I could write to; Thoth, Lucifer, and Cernunnos. I will write to them tomorrow. 

For now, 

Thank you to the universe, and thank you to my goddesses.

With love, 

Lisa.