Compatibility

 Hey guys, this has been on my mind since the other week when we all “hung out” at MC and J's house and it turned out to be a dooms day prep meeting. 

I don’t know if I’m as compatible with you as you guys think I am. 

Yes, there are some things that align for sure like: our views on spirituality, hallucinogenic medicine, a deep desire for connecting to the people around us with empathy and kindness, and I am very interested in the music festival culture. You also opened my eyes to the semi-nomadic way of life which i LOVE the idea of and totally plan to do when I can. 

However:

1. If I had known that “hang out” was going to be about dooms day prepping, I would not have come. In fact I felt super uncomfortable the whole time and was actually a bit irritated I hadn’t been warned (which was not on you guys what so ever, but was just how I felt at the moment in general). You guys seemed so happy that I was there but I wasn't there knowingly - I’m not a prepper. I do not think there is going to be some catestrophic societal collapse brought on by a secret society. Every theory I have ever heard is filled with confirmation bias and paranoia, only adding unneeded stress to people who are already stressed enough. 
2. While, yes, I want to live in a tiny home with solar energy and well water - and if I can actually manage it a small greenhouse - the desire does not come wanting be off grid... it comes from wanting to live more sustainably. I don't mind being on grid at all, I would just like to use more natural resources if I can, plus it would honestly save me a lot of money in the long run so that I can live a lifestyle more aligned with me.
3. I like urban living and want to always live near a city, with access to nature anytime I want. 
4. I’m actually against anti-vaxing, unless medically necessary. This is actually something I feel fairly strong about. 
5. I’m not bothered by fluoride in the water or against processed foods. Yes I would like to eat cleaner in general but I’m also not intending to cut all processed foods from my diet. You guys are so passionate about what you eat and I almost feel a bit judged because of the level of vehemence in your voice when you talk about people who aren't bothered by it (which would be me). Energetically I check out whenever this topic comes up. 
6. I am not opposed to the 9-5 life. While I felt utterly trapped in the business industry, that was before I found out I could leave it and persue a career in spirituality. I do plan to one day open my own business/travel "church" and teach seminars on spirituality, but I know that is probably about 10 years down the line. 
7. If I were to date you guys I would probably continue to want to swing. I have love for you, how I feel goes beyond normal friendship, but it is also not an all consuming love that would make me only have eyes for you. I am drawn to you, I love many of your ideas and goals, I do feel a deep connection to you... I also feel a disconnect. 

My point is that I am still more "plugged into the matrix" than you guys are and I am concerned that you guys may not realize how much.  

Since you guys have voiced that you have actual feelings for me I want to make sure that what you feel is actually for the reality of me and what I am. A intimate friends this would be less of an issue, as I have several friends who I chalk up "thats just how they are" and I am disconnected from it. If I were to actually comitt to you as a partner, then thats a different story.