between a rock and a hard place

I just refuse to do things just for money. When I asked what motivation I would have to major in something I have no interest in and do a Job I hated her response: so you don't live on the streets. What she doesn't realize is that I would rather live on the street and be happy than be miserable and rich.  To her its stupid and nieve. Maybe it is but that's oh I feel. And so what if I don't know what job I'll have when I graduate.... I can't plan my entire life like Rachael can. I'm not interested in something so straightforward as the military.  

I think she is frustrated because I'm no tracheal. I'm not doing something logical. I'm not going to a free school that just about everyone knows about. I'm not interested in money. She doesn't understand me and now she doesn't want to. It's Ben like this since freshman year and it's not going to change. We think in different ways and I just want to leave and pretty much not look back. But if I go to ECU I'll stay trapped in a place where I can't truly be myself with a brat for a sister and no Rachael to help keep me sane. I can't have long talks with my mom without it leading Tia fight. We are just too different. She is too set in her ways. I refuse to enter into her closed minded way of thinking and it just makes us clash. 

And fighting with her just makes everything I'm facing worse. >.< I don't know what to do Calvin. I just don't know. 

I want so bad to just find mr. Woolard and make him say everything will be alright. But he would probably agree with my mom and he is too busy to deal with me right now. I feel so alone.... And that was something I was hoping I could change with college. But my aunt wants me to go to this Christian college that would be free because of work study.... But I can't because that would make me feel even more alone than ever. I'm stuck.  Between a rock and a hard place.