My native side

first off: watch this,

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152456634446701&set=vb.7245371700&type=2&theater

all 20 minutes of it.

that native video really touched me...
i feel guilty... because i'm not in touch with my native side anymore. i feel like i've been neglecting it. neglecting part of my heritage. i feel so bad.... i've just been focusing on my irish/celtic side. i'll say "yeah i'm irish and native!" fast, but i stopped paying attention to that cultural side of me. this video made me realize that and is one of the reasons it made me cry.

i just feel so guilty.

i am native american. (A Canadian Tribe - but still native american because its in the "americas" as in north america)
I am a pagan, who draws on a more Celtic European side.



I still care for the earth.

I love her.

I hate how we humans are treating her.

I feel for those people in the video...

but i feel like i have no right to be moved so much. Because of how much i have neglected that part of my heritage and because i was not raised on a reservation, hell i can't even legally claim that side of my heritage because i don't have the paperwork.

I am only native american in words it seems. what right do i possibly have to call them my people? I was not raised with natives, maybe when i was very little, but thats it. I don't know much of their culture. I don't own any native clothes or music, other than a cheap wooden flute.


but it is part of my heritage. It is a part of me.

that i have basically forgotten and ignored.

what right do i have to be so moved my those people?

what right do i have to even call myself native american?

I just want someone to forgive me for my neglect...

to fix this feeling of guilt and shame....

to tell me that its ok.


but.

they have their music fighting for their people and the earth.
do i not have the same?

i am working tward the same cause...fight for the earth and all its creatures.

i just... feel guilty i have only been nurturing half of myself.