FaeriCon

okay so thr first part was basically a faerie themed flea market.
i only baught a few things, but spent waaay too much money. Everything was expensiv... but everything was authentic and DEF. worth the money.

i'll have pics up soon.

i met a psychic who did a eading for me. Aparently i will have 2 sons. I have a dark haired love interest that i am holding back from, that i should go for . (i don't really have a crush on anyone...so... i mean, there is the cute girl in my first class, but its not really a thing.)
 and apparently my SG is female. But because i'm so blocked in my third eye i felt that she was male.

um...

please no.
if my SG is female and i have been calling her male that is so embarrassing.

plus he showed himself to me as a male,,,,
at least it looked that way in the breif flash of my mind.

but going back to that dream in which i went home i was with a younger girl, who was blonde. what if she is my SG? my little sister from the past life?

see i suspected that maybe my SG and i were married in my previoous life.. or related in some way. idk. i need answers. I need to consult my pendulum and talk with him/her.


but the faerie ball.

amazing.
Woodland was the first band to play and their second song that they performed.... i lost myself in a trance and guys.... I litterally felt myself as my spirit is. I felt myself as an elf. I was there, with my eyes closed, but could see with my mind. i could feel my ears and my entire body, it felt different than my human one. Guys. i felt myself as a fae. As my spirit is. it was beautiful.

then Omnia. fucking Omnia. i saw them, live. alksjxflWHJFULEGF
it was awesome.

they sound just as good live as they do recorded. and they are all about love and independence and being true to who you are.

def chaotic good.

the actually got called back onto stage... TWICE by the crowd. ad their last song was Morrigan. by that time i was in the back of the room and could actually DANCE. when i say dance i dont mean modern danceing. i mean, my own dance. and i did it in front of people. and you know what? they smiled. they liked it. it was awsome.

and guys this weekend.... i had such a release... i needed it.

that night i was able to pray to Cernunnos and actually feel him listening to me.

last night i imagined talking to him again...

"Though there are many Gods inside your head
And I am only one
Believe in me I'll set you free
To worship me is fun

Because I stand for freedom
The forest wyld untamed
I'm creative Chaos no I just cannot be chained

You people think you're different but to me you're all the same
So if you feel in need of me well you can call my name

Call me Satan call me Satyr
I'm Cernunnos I am Pan
I'm the laughter in the forest
I'm the happy horny one"

I want to call out to him. I want to feel him again. I want to be free. Unchained. Happy.

It was so amazing, to be unrestricted this weekend.

and then last night i actually saw my SG. FELT him (or her...)
and that hasn't happened in a long time. He(/she) held my hand, and then stayed with me util i went to sleep.

I saw him. floating over me... not in any distinct form, but like a mist.

But he held my hand. i felt him.

and i know its because of this weekend. I was able to open myself because of this weekend.

I'm so happy i could cry.... i just don't want to get closed off again.