channel

okay so... what happened with Cernunnos was called "opening a channel"

i opened a channel with him and thats how i felt him.
and since then i have been sp at peace.... i want to do it again.

thinking about it makes my heart happy... and my muscles relax.

i would love to do it while mediating.

To sit and just feel him.

to have that connection.

be connected with the father deity.

err...my father deity.

<3

guys.... as much as i love woolard, i really havn't ever had a father figure. Which is why i'm a bit confused by my admiration of Cernunnos.


i want to portray him at my wedding.
if my wife is open to it.

i'd love to have a light green dress.... or at least have the antlers.


i'm not a masculine person. at all. i am quite girly.
why do i want to channel him so badly?

is it because of my "daddy issues"?
maybe.

i just feel so...good.

opening a channel with him has me in an almost Euphoric mood. I want to keep it.

i wonder if he would be open to it again.

i know i have daddy issues.
its why i have latched on to Woolard.

even though Cernunnos is a god, and i know he wouldn't actually come to me... a girl can dream right? He showed himself to me once, and i allowed myself to be drawn away.

Now i'm itching to see him again.

to be abel to hug him.

oh what it would have been like to hug a god. who obviously loved me.

i feel warm all over thinking about it.

its comforting....

maybe if i call out to him?

he'll give me a second chance?

i hope so.

but when an i do it?
where?

i don't get to go walking in the woods very often.
especially by myself.

and i know i need to be by myself to do this.

love.

i feel loved right now.

His presence was so gentle.
and warm.
and kind.

i'm sure if i meditate on it, i can derive more, but for now i'm just....happy. loved.

its the same love i felt comming from him when i first saw him in that tree.
i want more of it. to feel more of it.

to show him i love him too, to apologize for allowing myself to be turned away.

The god of the hunt and all things wild...
creative chaos...
lord of the forests...
green man...
my lord...

i love you.