Wednesday, June 18, 2025

Living Theology: A reflection on Poetry

 For class I had to do a close read on a poem and how it "does" theology - then I had to present a second poem and compare how the two "do" theology similarly or differently. 

For the first poem I chose The Summer Day by Mary Oliver.  In the first few lines its clear to see the narrator of the poem is already super reflective and notices the smaller details in life. She is brought to a point of intersection just from admiring the smallest of creatures: a grasshopper. The poem is instantly theological as she ponders who made the world, such as the tiny grasshopper before her. However I think the meat and potatoes comes from the second half - when the grasshopper flies away and suddenly the narrator reflects on prayer. To me this made me think how most prayers go out of us and to the being in which we pray, flying away the way the grasshopper does from the narrators hand. But then they present HOW they pray:

"I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down/ into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,/how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields, /which is what I have been doing all day./Tell me, what else should I have done?"

This makes me think to Van Engen's article where he said "Theology, the study of God and God’s relationship with all things, can be abstracted into principles, but ideally its purpose is to influence life. Theology exists to be lived." Its the last line, "theology exists to be lived" that really resonates with me and I think is why this poem really resonates with me. 

Living theology, prayer as what we do in life and how we live our lives, and connecting to God within us and all around us is the connection I bring to my next poem. I stumbled upon this poet on Instagram and he is a theological poet. I am so enraptured by his poetry that after reading a handful of them I pre-ordered his book with zero hesitation and I think all people should experience his poetry at least once. Some key things to note: he has been homeless for a time, is married with kids, and during all the ups and downs of his life he found God through love. He sees God through the connecting of souls (primarily through sex) and so he calls his poetry "sacred smut x spicy scripture". But it is truly a LIVING theology. 

I know this is a long poem but I beg of you, bear with me and read it all. It really sets the tone for all of his work and it I worth it. If you want to skip it.... the final stanza is where the connection between the two hits home: "maybe physiology has always been prayer".

poet: Christopher Sexton

IG: christhecocreator

Poem: god came when I did. and whispered, finally

-----------------------------------

my god wears no name, 

only nerve endings and nectar, 


my god is a man. 

my god is a woman. 

my god is neither and both. 

my god is a mystical oracle 

whispering through dead things. 

my god is the earth's orgasm, 

when lightning and soil kiss. 

my god is what happens

when polarity dances

instead of debates. 

my god is in the collapse. 

in the climax. 

in the stillness after. 

this is not about religion. 

this is about relationship.

the relationship between

rain and roots. 

sky and womb. 

dopamine and devotion. 

testosterone and tenderness. 

this is about remembering 

that the soul is sexual, 

the erotic is spiritual, 

and that the second coming

is not a prophecy.

It's a practice. 


divine union isn't some 

esoteric metaphor. 

it's science. 

it's sacred geometry

and sacred sex

and sacred nervous systems

waking up from shame.  


this is not new age fluff. 

this is ecology. 

this is physiology. 

this is psychology

finally realizing 

what the mystics always knew:

to meet someone with all of you

requires that you've first

sat with all of you. 


I wear my mala beads

to anchor me in this.

108 beads. 

1 is the masculine. 

action, direction, the seed.

the proton charge of the cosmos,

born to pursue and penetrate truth.

0 is the feminine. 

current, intuition, the egg. 

the electron dance of creation, 

chaos, and curve. 

and 8 is the ouroboros.

the infinite spiral

where they fuck 

and become forever. 

together they make life.

together they are life. 


and every time I touch them, 

I'm reminded:

the point is not transcendence.

the point is trust. 


maybe resurrection 

isn't just about rising from the dead. 

maybe its about rising

into the living. 


maybe heaven 

is just the feeling in her hips

when she finally exhales into your hands

without wondering if she's safe. 


maybe salvation doesn't come 

from a cross or a creed. 

maybe it just comes 

when we stop using love as a leash. 


maybe the second coming 

is not coming back. 

maybe it's coming deeper. 

into the mess. 

into the moment. 

into the breath. 


maybe physiology

has always been prayer. 

Better to be alone than Lonely.

 Some thoughts that always arise whenever I start dating and trying to meet people - 

  • I find fault with every single person who takes an interest in me. If they show too much interest too soon, I am almost disgusted. 
  • I think I know what I want but I don't think it actually exists. If I meet someone and they don't immediately fit this idea, I make it almost impossible for them to even try. 
  • I'm scared I'll end up alone but its better than being committed to the wrong person. I don't know how to keep the faith that my person is actually out there and the more open I try to be the worse it gets. 
  • Now that I love myself, I don't know how to risk loving someone else. 
  • I'm worried that I am the problem. I don't want to be chased but I refuse to chase. I'm just...stationary. Like a statue. I feel like i'm cold and unattached, unfeeling, like stone. 
  • I am outwardly nice and internally cold. I'm social enough to go out and have good dates but I have no actual interest or any semblance of a connection to these poor guys who are sincere. 
    • I actually sort of pity anyone who has legitimate interest in me. 
  • I am fine when I focus on myself. I thrive when I am single... As soon as I think about adding someone else to my life, my peace falls apart... but I am so closed off when I focus on myself. What if I miss him? What If I'm so closed off that I don't let him in? What if I don't even let him approach me?

After talking with my therapist there is a frustration between my self preservation, guilt at not being able to to feel a spark (which I need to let go of, because just because someone is a good person or option doesn't mean they are right for you), and a deep desire to feel a deep connection. I have so much love to give but I am so careful about who i give that love to. 

Its better to be alone than with someone who makes me feel lonely. 

I need to give up dating. Me and dating go together like oil and water. I will have to meet my person organically in order for me to even give him a chance. 

I went on a date, immediately wrote off the guy it was with. Minimal small talk afterward as I tried to find an excuse to stop talking to him.... only to run into him at the no kings rally and have a really good time with him. (Let's call him Willy since he lives in the Willy st neighborhood). We slept together (look i'm lonely alright and he made me feel comfortable) and I expected it to be sort of done after that. But he surprised me and we ended up having some deep discussions afterward. 

Not it is following what I expected and turned into a more so physical only type dynamic and I'm certain its just a fun fling. but he surprised me with his depth. 

Maybe I really do need to slow down when I meet people and discover the things under the surface. 
However, I cannot allow a fling to last more than 3 months if even that long. 

He serves as a good reminder that 
1) I am allowed to just have fun and enjoy the moment
2) I deserve to be treated like a treasure
3) Somethings that were "wants", are actually "needs" - ambition, playfulness, and financial security. 

As soon as I realized he was not my person, he was yet another lesson/example from Lucifer, I relaxed. I do need to be careful that he doesn't get too attached to me, but other than that. It's fine. 

I have three people I am sort of casually "dating"
- "Willy" - has a LOT of characteristics I am looking for. No ambition, no financial security, no playfulness that I've seen so far.  Sagittarius says yes, Capricorn says no. 
- "Fly boy": has the playfulness but lacks the sort of commanding presence I crave in a partner. We are friends, but there is very clear interest on his part and we dabble in flirting. If he were to make a move I would be possibly open to friends with benefits, but that's the most I can see. 
- "Academic" - hard to read and get a vibe on. Slightly socially awkward and a massive introvert. Has the financial security and while is not spiritually inclined would absolutely listen to me yap about it. I really like the way he looks at me. Its either we sit and have a conversation or we do an activity, not one to do both. Encourages me to be silly but doesn't really have whimsy in himself. Capricorn says yes, Sagittarius says no. 

Willing to see where things go and not quite ready to cut the chord on any of them just yet. 

Thursday, June 5, 2025

Writing prompts: Mallory - The Duck

 The Dawn settled the duck into its nest. We could only see it through the 1's and 0's of the digital camera... or rather she could see it. I huffed out another puff of steam over my chilled fingers as I glanced wearily over  to the small brunette woman fully laying on her stomach in the grass. She was too cute to glare at, but it was everything I could do not to do so after she woke me up before the ass crack of dawn after hearing the call of a damn bird. My glance finally morphed into a hard stare of disbelief as she shushed me, her hand motioning for me to crouch even lower onto the ground. 

The sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon, the chill of the night lingered over everything in a blanket of fog that I wished would dissipate so I could at least see the reason for my torment. My nose and cheeks were red and I just knew I looked like some kind of Raggedy Anne doll in my holey pajamas and curly hair tangled over my head. I would have snapped something witty at her, but the moment I turned my eyes away from my ice blocks that were once hands, my voice caught in my throat. She was looking up at me, her eyes shining in an almost childlike glee. 

Suddenly a large camera was shoved into my face as she jumped up, damn near startling the duck as much as she had me. I turned the body of the camera to face me, looked at the screen, and froze. 

It was beautiful. 

The creeping dawn had somehow cast a pink and lavender hue over the mist that cascaded through the tall grasses consuming almost the entire frame. The grass in question stood proudly around the nest, where I noticed the ever so slight bulge through the soft down feathers where an egg laid, surrounded by safety and warmth. The duck looked bleak and boring with my eyes, but somehow through hers she was able to summon an array of warm khaki, deep caramel, and hues of russet on the wings of perhaps the plainest bird in existence. 

The female Mallard called out a warning as a radiant voice broke my trance from the image. 

"See! I told you she'd be beautiful!" Puffs of steam crossed the short distance between us as she gazed up at me. Her brown eyes were alight with excitement, her nose and ears just as pink as mine if not more so; her ponytail offering no shelter from the cold morning. My eyes trailed over her as I saw her in the grass, as beautiful as a damn duck apparently could be. The cotton candy fog surrounding her and a slow golden light rising from behind, turning her into some sort of swamp faerie glowing before my eyes. What was it like, to see the world in such a way? 

I bent down to ask her that very question, but before the words could escape me she bounced and captured my lips with hers. They were hard, practically frozen, but I couldn't care. I wrapped her up in my arms, suddenly aware that in my frustration of my own discomfort I'd ignored the fact that she must have been even colder than me, wearing nothing but silk pajama which were now soaked from the dew she'd nested in. Reluctantly I broke the kiss, concern winning out over temptation. 

"Come one little bird, lets get some coffee going. I'm freezing my nuts off." With a wink, I pulled her into me as we turned towards camp. I noted the goosebumps and regretted not bringing a blanket - which I would have if she hadn't torn out of the tent like a bat out of hell. 

In a matter of time a fire was lit, a pot of coffee perfumed the air, and I was satisfying warm. I almost laughed as she came out of the tent wearing one of my hoodies - the one that was large even for me - and happily waddled over to me. With a sheepish grin she slowly took the mug out of my hands and graced me with a smile. I was once again off kilter - how could such a simple creature be so radiant? Oblivious to my awe, she made a happy noise as she slipped my coffee again, and took her place on the opposite end of the fire. 

"Mallory?" I asked, my voice almost dreamlike. 

"Yes?" she asked, her narrow face tilting to the side. 

"Marry me." I breathed, hardly aware I had actually said the words out loud. She blinked in shock for a moment and I suddenly realized what I had just done. 

"Shi-" I cursed, but she stood suddenly and startled me by practically shouting. 

"Okay!" 

"Okay?"

"Okay!" she chirped again, more confidently. Nodding her head enthusiastically and breathing hard, as if she had just run a marathon. 

"Okay." I said, my voice barely contained my laughter and joy. She gave me but a moment before her tiny frame barreled into me, throwing me on my ass. Her shrieks of laughter were contagious as she climbed on top of me and began pelting my face with quick kisses. 

"Okay." we breathed, embracing as the sun finally settled above the horizon. 

Final Project Proposal (work in progress)

 Final paper/project: this is an opportunity for students to draw on the readings, lectures, class conversations, and previous assignments to articulate their own informed understanding of the contemporary use of the arts as a means of theological or religious expression and reflection. Students will complete ONE of the following and present it to the class at the end of the term. 

a) The creation of a work of art or popular culture, such as a painting, dance, poem, sculpture, graphic novel, etc. that speaks to an aspect of your religious practice. This will be accompanied by a researched, footnoted artist’s statement of approximately 5 pages that describes your ideas and contextualizes them.  

Proposal for final paper/project: The proposal will demonstrate student preparedness for the final paper/project. It will consist of a paragraph description of the proposed project (about 250 words), as well as a close reading (300-500 words) of a relevant image/object/artwork. It will also include an annotated bibliography of at least 5 academic sources. It will be graded on a pass/fail basis and the professor reserves the right to ask the student to revise and resubmit the proposal.


The "Close Read" will be of a Tarot Card. I'll probably choose the devil because the primary thing about it is that the people who are chained...are holding the chain. Not the Devil. 

****AFFECT? --> the healing aspects... find it in the previous lecture to see the right word. 

Annotated Bibliography to support the 5 page paper - 

  •  Pollack-Pelzner, Daniel. “Shakespeare Burlesque and the Performing Self.” Victorian Studies 54, no. 3 (2012): 401–9. https://doi.org/10.2979/victorianstudies.54.3.401.
    • More on burlesque as a personal performance for self.
    • https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.2979/victorianstudies.54.3.401?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents
  • Buckland, Theresa Jill. “Dance, Authenticity and Cultural Memory: The Politics of Embodiment.” Yearbook for Traditional Music 33 (2001): 1–16. https://doi.org/10.2307/1519626
    • Dance in conversation with other areas of study
    • https://www.jstor.org/stable/1519626?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents
  • Gaskill, Malcolm. 2010. Witchcraft : A Very Short Introduction. Oxford: Oxford University Press. Accessed April 26, 2025. ProQuest Ebook Central.
    • Book on Witcraft.. honestly i think i could get some really good quotes from this. 
    • https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.theoref.idm.oclc.org/lib/dtl/reader.action?docID=684591&ppg=1'
  • Benussi, Matteo. (2019) 2023. “Magic”. In The Open Encyclopedia of Anthropology, edited by Felix Stein. Facsimile of the first edition in The Cambridge Encyclopedia of Anthropology. Online: http://doi.org/10.29164/19magic
    •  https://www.anthroencyclopedia.com/entry/magic
    • https://anthroholic.com/forms-of-magic?srsltid=AfmBOoplHEziSc_FdogfJxn52KE_9Zwf34G3Fc-WLAVU1MwbNCwnFrDE
  • Dovell, Denise. “Dancing toward My Wolf: A Journey of Healing through Dance-Making.” Frontiers: A Journal of Women Studies 20, no. 2 (1999): 43–59. https://doi.org/10.2307/3347011. 
    • https://www.jstor.org/stable/3347011?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents
    • Healing through dance!! 
    • Page 2 liminal spaces, pg 5 whats healing about dance, pg 10 shamanic work, 
    • This is an actual example of a woman doing shadow work healing generational trauma through dance. 
  • Koch, Anne. “Alternative Healing as Magical Self-Care in Alternative Modernity.” Numen 62, no. 4 (2015): 431–59. http://www.jstor.org/stable/24644878.
    • Magic as self care
    • https://www.jstor.org/stable/24644878?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents
    • Page 6 spirituality as a form of psychological healing, pg 7 ritual theory
  • Dale, J. Alexander, Janyce Hyatt, and Jeff Hollerman. “The Neuroscience of Dance and the Dance of Neuroscience: Defining a Path of Inquiry.” Journal of Aesthetic Education 41, no. 3 (2007): 89–110. http://www.jstor.org/stable/25160240.
    • The science part of processing emotions through creative process
    • Link to the PDF (took some hunting): https://tinyurl.com/y8w3v72p
  • Wright, Barbara S. “Dance Is the Cure: The Arts as Metaphor for Healing in Kelantanese Malay Spirit Exorcisms.” Dance Research Journal 12, no. 2 (1980): 3–10. https://doi.org/10.2307/1478508
    • This article goes into how theatrical dances can be a form of exorcism - THIS is very close to how dance can be shadow work!! 
    • https://www.jstor.org/stable/1478508?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents
  •  Baumholser, Erin. “It’s Laid Out in the Cards: How Meaning and Identity Are Constructed through Tarot Reading.” Dissertation, ResearchGate, 2016. 10.13140/RG.2.1.2639.7046.
    • https://www.researchgate.net/publication/303297812_It's_Laid_Out_in_the_Cards_How_Meaning_and_Identity_are_Constructed_through_Tarot_Reading
    • This dissertation draws on several articles that I contemplated for this very topic. I wanted to have at least one source on the history and uses of tarot that also explored its connection to self. The premise of this dissertation encompasses the purpose of my art piece. I am recreating a moment where my identity was in transition from victim to survivor. I completed this transformation through shadow work, culminating through ritual dance in the form of neo-burlesque. Tarot cards are how I chose to give a visual representation of what was occuring in my mind as I completed this ritual. This is the only source I could find that adequately linked tarot and identity for the sake of Artist's Statement.  

Thursday, May 29, 2025

Idea for Art & Religion final

 My professor actually approved my idea of doing a burlesque dance for my final as a means to demonstrate sacred art. (I was going to do Alchemize by Kerli and do it as a physical representation of shadow work). 


I think I will take one of the most healing dances (Rise of the dragon Queen pt 2)


I could do 3 stills. 


1. I know I want to do this one:

https://scontent-msp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/481224965_651429547391900_923348104556530817_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=833d8c&_nc_ohc=tpeT2mwcc_AQ7kNvwFDxvK0&_nc_oc=AdkwsUxXN-gu7L6Sw0b8RWtjWnbV884iQazXFnTVVt8GH0AYid1finPMxMfvlU7Lx-c&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-msp1-1.xx&_nc_gid=XKFZN5LCreK8wgk2h_FcdA&oh=00_AfJFrE0_p8PVhuifc43Yo6ruaAz2KV-y27ZAlPJeG8x1oQ&oe=683EB03C

^^^^^ Turn this into the devil tarot card - we hold the chains that bind us and only we can break them... I was held down by shame and fear after my assault. Only I could break free and this dance was me reclaiming my power. 

I probably want to do this one:

https://scontent-msp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/480751460_651429467391908_8263468874864920517_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=833d8c&_nc_ohc=8asLQJZO_68Q7kNvwHhpvcs&_nc_oc=AdkVizrrpIseibL13k-vUUSoL9TXJC2ZjErb6TAkQSLRGOhAyRRZULBzim6rtwuOF-I&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-msp1-1.xx&_nc_gid=pKqbEjO6AvVG1gWCoQo3cQ&oh=00_AfIfCcQjk5zFRoxla7PP19d43pRoJ_HyNfv2Mh9STSdMig&oe=683EAB98

^^^^ Embellish the armor for sure. Knight of Swords. "represents a person or situation characterized by ambition, drive, and a strong focus on achieving goals. It often signifies decisive action, intellectual pursuits, and a need for clarity in thought"


And this one - I know I want to add wings

https://scontent-msp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/480665275_651429594058562_1829645205857497342_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=833d8c&_nc_ohc=u3ef7l75ewwQ7kNvwF_qppz&_nc_oc=AdmMSz1yfDTJVLuPB0TrOFgaUDb9IKzEESQxE0Asmn2KvmaZx6G-r9aVdo4Q0ZAj4FQ&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-msp1-1.xx&_nc_gid=KaUWiaOYGtJHK6BoCFjGbw&oh=00_AfJr0UqQ-nUiM1AFQ1eDos3Ge_u61Ezr-NGmDXJBPRbBcg&oe=683EB75A

^^^^^^ Judgement, symbolizes spiritual awakening, transformation, and reassessment, encouraging self-reflection and making life-altering decisions







Wednesday, May 14, 2025

Notes I may need Later - Contemporary Paganism

 Anthropological differentiation:

- Etic = outsider point of view, how the culture/society/religious group looks to those outside the group.

-Emic = insider point of view, how the culture/society/religious group looks to those inside the group. 



Sailbi regrets that there is too many options and not enough guidance when it comes to religion, forming a spiritual supermarket that leads people to join NRM's instead of remaining in larger authoritative religions. ----- I would say that a spiritual super market is a great things, although it could lead to loniness in a way. Paganism can be quite lonely if you don't subscribe to a more primary form - even if you find a welcoming group its sometimes obvious when you deviate from it. Can feel isolating. So I can somewhat see where is he is coming from. 

He also regrets that "secularization" has limited how mainstream religion can be expressed in public spaces has given an opening to marginal and alternative religions. 

- he reveals his Christian bias and desire for Christian hegemony.

"Secularization theory" The belief that as society becomes more modern and invested in science its interest in religion will wither and eventually die out. -- I don't think that will EVER happen. A rise in NRM is sort of proof of that.  



Asian NRM Notes (will use most of this for the discussion board, as there are no prompts yet). 

**I wrote this to respond to the questions at the end of the lecture: 

What did you think about these Asian based NRM?

Something that I really find interesting and have a mixed feeling on is humanitarian acts as a means to proselytize. This is something that happens across various religions - Christianity is notorious for it. The example in our lecture was Hare Krishna temples providing free meals to the community so that no one would go hungry. "people would come for the food and stay for the religion". 

On one hand I love when a religion does humanitarian acts out of genuine love for people's well being. Providing food for the hungry is blessed work however to do so only for the sake of converting and spreading a religion is self serving and underhanded. I am not as familiar with how the Hare Krishna temples go about it but I can only draw on the two methods of this I have seen through Christian examples. 

In three separate examples of missionary work through providing food I have experienced:

#1) I will call this example a "community feast" in that it was a sort of potluck held by the church and was open to the community at large. The food wasn't free, but it was only a few dollars to come in and there was no limit to how much food you could eat once inside. The religion was all around through the presence of the church, religious art, and free bibles available to be taken if someone so chose on their way in or out. A single blessing was said at the beginning of the event and while I did not stay till the end there was no preaching involved. Just a community coming together to share a meal (and a way to keep the church doors open). 

#2) Providing hot meals to transient workers at the local and state fair grounds. During this time volunteers from the church gathers to make and serve hot meals for free to the workers, who would come from all over. Some people served the food and others walked around providing drinks and refilling them, others simply walked around handing out bibles and striking up conversations. The workers were free to turn down the bibles, and while those striking up conversations were encouraged to bring up the church and use that as a means to bring up religion and proselytize, it was understood that most would not be interested and the issue was not to be pushed if they seemed reluctant. 

#3) This example is from a church cookout I went to because a friend invited me saying it was just as casual community hang out.  The event was free, offering free food and good conversation with the community who came. Once it was clear that most people had gotten their food and were settling down to eat it turned into an informal church service. Once the preaching began it became hard to leave and awkward  - perhaps that was just my social anxiety and desire to be respectful. But it felt like being caught in a mouse trap - tempted by free food and then suddenly unable to leave while a religion is being forced on you. 

**Mind you its not like anyone was chained or the proverbial doors were locked (this was outdoors) but social pressures and decorum kept me silent and still. I was stuck in an uncomfortable event and environment for the sake of decorum.  This is especially true for women - but that is a socio/psychological conversation for another time. 

To me example #1 is the most respectful means to go about "come for the food, stay for the religion" as a means of charity work. The religion was not the forefront of the event - the food, people, and community was. It just provided a means to introduce the church to those who were unfamiliar and raise interest while also staying true to the purpose of the event. 

Example #2 is sort of in the middle in that the religion was easily accessible but there was no pressure talk about it. The company and food was provided simply because there were people in need. If it lead to conversion or even just for some of the workers to think more deeply about religion in general then all the better. 

To me, the third example is almost a sort of extortion: listen to us preach or go hungry. Those in attendance would have no choice but to listen to the religious teachings if they wanted the free meal. Now, several of the mini bibles were left on the table once people took their leave of the event, but several took the bibles with them. This is a strong way to spread one's religion but the act is no longer philanthropic. 

The lecture seems to describe how Hare Krishna goes about this more in parallel with the first example but not much detail was provided. Does anyone (or if the professor sees this and can answer) know which example is closer to how this religion/movement goes about it? Does it vary depending on the temple?

---

Another thing I found to be common amongst religions that heavily rely on conversion that was brought up in the lecture is the disruption of cultural events that have nothing to do with the religion by a religious group. The example from the lecture was the Lithuanian holiday that resembles American Mardi Gras and the Buddhist monk who went with his kids but complained that the Hare Krishnas could pop up at any time with their chanting and interrupt as a means to draw attention to their group. 

To me this is more along the lines of a church showing up with signs and shouting through a megaphone while handing out bibles than it is a respectful booth being set up to hand out information to anyone who chose to approach. I am genuinely baffled by how disrespectful, whether intentionally or not, some religious groups act in the name of conversion. I think public acts are not offensive in nature in general, but there is a time and a place to go about it respectfully. While this would definitely help the group be noticed,  would being disrespectful in this way not tarnish the community opinion of the NRM and act against conversion? 

------

Something I found interesting when looking at the Asian NRM's presented in the lecture is how as the movement spreads - it adapts. Hare Krishna as it was introduced to me back in Undergrad was as the professor described it when he first heard about it: strange people with orange robes and shaved heads. As shown in the lecture though, as more people joined they had less interest in the more extreme expressions of the religion - with many people in the chanting in regular clothing and not renouncing their contemporary lifestyle. Diamond Way shows a similar pattern - being born from a ascetic and celibate teaching and adapting to the contemporary world by following more hedonistic behaviors. In both cases while the more strict and limiting practices were dropped the primary teachings were still respected and used to further serve the soul and community. (Although I appreciated the clear difference in the group's attitudes towards their cultural heritage and how they interact with society.) 

I am curious how many Diamond Way followers adopted the racist and nationalistic ways of thinking - does that show in their teachings and centers; as the NRM adapts to the developing western world - does it remain as diverse as the people in it or do they all follow the example of the founder?

While the lecture didn't go into too much detail about what the Asian cult believed other than worshipping their Guru, it also in a way followed a similar path in the sense that it blended "ancient Asian Spirituality" with modern technology. Diamond Way also associated religion with technology - showing that technology really can be a bridge for people to enter into NRM. 

--------------------

If you had to choose one to join...

To me personally if I had to pick one to find the most interesting and if I didn't know any better would be tempted to join would be Diamond Way. In my personal practice I combine ecstatic journeying practices, a sort of  meditation through dance, and the use of harnessing sexual energy as a means to connect to the divine. However I think I would also struggle a bit with it as the ultimate goal for Buddhism is breaking the cycle of reincarnation and I find that at a total opposite of my spiritual own spiritual beliefs. However Diamond Way is a type of Mahayana Buddhism which believes in the bodhisattvas and follows the bodhisattva path - which is in line with my own beliefs (mostly). So I think I would easily be able to adapt a chunk of their practices into my own, much in the same way they did with Tibetan Buddhism. 

However I draw a very firm line in the sand when it comes nationalism and racism. Its denial of helping those in need (to paraphrase the quote in the lecture: "we are not trying to make the sick healthy, but make the healthy even better") directly goes against primary Buddhist teachings and so I have a really hard time with that as well. How can someone be on the path of becoming a Bodhisattva while actively turning a blind eye to suffering around you? Bodhisattvas are basically buddhas that choose to reincarnate or remain in a heavenly realm in order to teach others and lead them to Nirvana. If enlightenment comes from uniting the mind, body, and soul in harmony to the point of breaking free from suffering and becoming one with divinity/reaching nirvana  - it goes against the very thing they say they aspire to be to turn their backs on the needy. 

The only reason I really would choose Diamond way is because I don't think I could follow Hare Krishna's lifestyle and dedication to a single God - especially when I don't agree with all of his teachings. With polytheism I at least have the freedom to agree and disagree with my gods openly and find support in another deity should I need it. 

-----

**Diamond Way and Wicca seem to have a lot in common in how they pretty much ignore the origins of  their beliefs and just present what they believe as primary. They ignore the cultural and spiritual heritage until what they believe is their own thing that stands apart from its origin. Possible topic for final paper? 

** The elitist and classist levels of training found in Diamond way make me think about the little bit of Scientology that I know about. Could also be good for a comparison in a paper - not sure if there is a Pagan NRM that would fit this mode of thinking though. Will need to keep an eye out for that as the course goes on as that could be a direction for a final paper too. 

 ------ 

Quotes from the readings that may come in handy

  • Daniel Metraux - Religious Terrorism in Japan
    • These religious organizations have the main characteristics of revitalization movements in that they "rework and reshape traditional beliefs, rituals, and symbols in such a way as to make them relevant to the social-cultural and spiritual needs of the present." (1141)
    • Aum followers, most of whom are in their 20s and 30s, donate all of their assets to the cult and move into Aum communes as adherents who completely cut off their association with the outside world for a communal life of little sleep and meager meals. In return, the cult promises spiritual exercises and lessons in extrasensory perception through a version of Tibetan-style mysticism as a path to true happiness and salvation. (1142)
    • "I had always felt the end of the world is close at hand. With the incredible amount of environmental destruction, there is no way we can survive it unless we change our lifestyle."  (1145)
    • "What they experienced, in Buddhist terms, was the release of bad karma that held back the life force of the Buddha." (1145)  ----> IN LINE WITH SCIENTOLOGY
    • Like his yogi mentors, Asahara claims to have supernatural powers, including the ability to levitate and fly through the air. He also claims that he can teach these feats to others. Japanese television has shown some of his disciples desperately trying to achieve levitation from a full lotus position by bouncing up and down on their bottoms.(1146)
      • This definitely makes me think of scientology 
    • "Plausible explanations to this and similar situations start from the fact that many younger Japanese are embarking on a massive search for meaning in life, and are turning to spirituality for the psychological assurances that materialism has failed to provide. While surveys indicate that the percentage of Japanese with ties to organized religion has plummeted since World War 2, many are also highly receptive to spirituality." (1149)
    • "Iamasu Tatsuo, professor of sociology at Hosei University, says the "cults have their roots in the occult and mysticism. Aum is one of those that successfully gained the sympathy of youngsters craving for something supernatural." According to sociologist Ito Takashi, "the current trend of new religious groups seems to reflect young people's interest in psychic powers, which may have sprung from their anxieties about life." Another professor notes: "Once youths become aware of the sources of their anxiety, they are eager to find a quick fix. And that's exactly what the new religions offer them." (1150)
    • According to a young, well-educated man in his early thirties: "AUM has given me the true blueprint. The maps provided by other religions were vague and didn't take me to any goal." The religious fervor of most members - despite implication in crimes-has not been dampened, nor have many followers been convinced to give up AUM teachings. (1150)

Thursday, May 8, 2025

Summer Semester Plan

Class 5:45-9 Contemporary Paganism 

  • 8 Essays out of 12
    • Week 1 - self into essay
    • Week 2 - theories of NRMs
    • Week 4 Slavic Paganism
    • Week 6 - theories of Paganism
    • Week 7 - Ásatrú: Modern Norse-Germanic Paganism.
    • Week 8 - Druidry: Modern Celtic Paganism
    • Week 9: Baltic Paganism: Romuva in Lithuania and Dievturi in Latvia
    • Week 10: Goddess Religion and Feminist Witchcraft. 
    • Week 11: Santería: An Afro-Cuban New Religious Movement.
    • Week 12 - Politics and Paganism
  • 500 words, 11pt font, Times new Roman, 1.5 spacing

******How he wants them Written: Please use 11 pt font, Times New Roman, 1.5 spacing.

United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities
Week #: Subject
Student: Lisa "Pixie" Sawyer
Date:
Title of Essay

  1. First paragraph: Introduction. Explain what the week’s topic(s) was/were about, in a general  way, then briefly describe what you will be writing about.
  2. Info-summary paragraph #1. Explore something from one of the readings, including stating which reading or author you are drawing upon.
  3. Info-summary paragraph #2. Explore something from another one of the readings, including stating which reading or author you are drawing upon.
  4. Info-summary paragraph #3. Explore something from yet another one of the readings, or something further from a reading already commented upon, including stating which reading or author you are drawing upon.
  5. Personal reaction/commentary/reflections: 1 or 2 paragraphs in which you provide your personal perspective on or reaction to something in the readings, or on the week’s topic in general. Use language like “I think that…” , “It seems to me…”, “In my opinion.” Forget your past English class training that discouraged personal viewpoint. Here, it is valued and needed!


Art, Religion, and Culture... none of the materials are accessible yet. 

  • - 2 reflective papers needed
  • - final proposal  & Annotated bibliography
  • - final project
  • - final project presentation

*No Due dates???

**** BRUHHHH she doesn't release the readings until after class.... so you can't work ahead...... what the FUCK

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

School Start

Saturday 5/10

  • Mothers Day With Mom

Sunday 5/11

  • Week 1 Lecture: Introductions - 1hr 8 min
  • Watch: (links provided elsewhere): excerpts from Cults: Explained (Netflix); 
    • Link was not provided
  • Watch:  The Source Family Part One (there is no definite division of Part One and Part Two, but it is suggested to watch half of video this week and half the next)
    • Link was not provided 
  • Essay 1: Autobiography paper

Week 1

Monday 5/12

  • GYM AT 5:30
  • She hasn't posted the PDF's....the way she structures them she posts the reading after class.... to read before the next week. meaning we can't work ahead....
  • Cool. I'm too tired anyway

Tuesday 5/13

  • Week 2 Lecture: Theories of NRMs (New Religious Movements) - 1.5 hours
  • Salibi, Understanding NRMs, Chapters 1 & 2 (64 pgs)

Wednesday 5/14

  • Salibi, Understanding NRMs, Chapters 3 & 4 (76 pages)
  • Discussion/Bulletin Board 
  • Essay 2: Week 2 - theories of NRMs

Thursday 5/15

  • MOVING DAY ROUND 1
  • Class 5:45-9 ---> just plan on it being at work. 

Friday 5/16

  • unpack and relax.

Saturday 5/17

Sunday 5/18

  •  Watch:  Interview with British sociologist Eileen Barker, “What Are New Religious Movements?” 
  •  Watch: The Source Family (Part Two) 
  • Links not provided. 


Week 2

Monday 5/19

  • GYM AT 5:30
  • bell hooks, "Beauty Laid Bare: Aesthetics in the Ordinary" [PDF]

Tuesday 5/20

  • --- he hasn't posted any of the readings.... but I found one through JOSTR:  Daniel A. Metraux, “Religious Terrorism in Japan: The Fatal Appeal of Aum Shinrikyo.”
  • Watch Week 3 Lecture: Asian NRMs - 1.15 hr
  • Ronald R. Bernier and Rachel Hostetter Smith, “Introduction.” p. 1-18 in Religion and Contemporary Art: A Curious Accord [PDF available]

Wednesday 5/21

  • Read: Michael Strmiska, “Eastern Religions in Eastern Europe: Three Case Studies from Lithuania” (regarding Hare Krishna (ISKCON) and Diamond Way movements, also Lithuanian Pagan movement Romuva); 
  •  Read: Nick Humez, “Hare Krishna” (Encyclopedia of Pop Culture article)

Thursday 5/22

  • Class 5:45-9
  • Discussion/Bulletin board 

Friday 5/23

  • Kandinsky, On the Spiritual in Art (PDF)
  • https://hilmaafklint.se/about-hilma-af-klint/

Saturday 5/24

  • Shamanism Retreat

Sunday 5/25


Week 3

Monday 5/26

  • Holiday - visiting Charlie out of town

Tuesday 5/27

  • MOVING DAT ROUND  with CM to get the last big stuff and boxes 

Wednesday 5/28

  • Finish moving. 

Thursday 5/29

  • Class 5:45-9
  • Watch Week 4 Lecture: UFO Religions
  • Discussion/Bulletin board 

Friday 5/30

  • Cleaning 

Saturday 5/31

Sunday 6/1


Week 4

Monday 6/2

  • Slavic Paganism Essay and readings

Tuesday 6/3

  • Watch Week 5 Lecture: Hasidism, Kabbalah, False Messiahs, and Jewish NRMs - 1.17hr
  • Discussion Board
  • Allison Coudert, “Cabala” (Kabbalah Overview from Encyclopedia of Europe 1450-1789); “Shabbetai Zevi” (Encyclopedia Judaica); “Jacob Frank and Frankism” (Ency. Judaica); 

Wednesday 6/4

  •  David Assaf “Hasidism” (Overview) (Encyclopedia Judaica); “Israel Ben Eliezer Ba’al Shem Tov” (Ency. Judaica);  
  • Michael Strmiska, “Not Quite Polar Opposites: Judaism and Paganism” (2014 lecture); 
  • Shai Feraro, “Two Steps Forward, One Step Back….Israeli Pagans 1999-2012.”
  • Hot Tub and pool with Hunter 

Thursday 6/5

  • Class 5:45-9
  • GYM?
  • Start Doing the project proposal 

Friday 6/6

  • OBOD Meeting

Saturday 6/7

  • Hang with Charlie
  • Chores/unpack
  • Go see scary movie?

Sunday 6/8

  • Putt Putt Date


Week 5

Monday 6/9

  • GYM AT 5:30
  • optional: Nathaniel Dorsky, Devotional Cinema [PDF]
  • Week 4 watch: The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928) - 1hr 20 min
  • watch: Searching Skies (2017) - 10 min (https://vimeo.com/208980578 )
  •  write reflection paper

Tuesday 6/10

  • Watch Week 6 Lecture: Theories of Paganism
  • Sabina Magliocco, Chapter Nine, “Neo-Pagan Religious Movements” from Cambridge Companion to New Religious Movements, 
  • Scott Simpson and Mariusz Filip, “Selected Words for Modern Pagan and Native Faith Movements in Central and Eastern Europe,” from Simpson and Aitamurto, ed. Modern Paganism and Native Faith Movements in Central and Eastern Europe.

Wednesday 6/11

  • Shamanism Group Call
  • DOWN WITH MIGRAINE ENTIRE DAY. FUCKING 14 HOURS

Thursday 6/12

  • Class 5:45-9
  • Discussion/Bulletin board 
  • Strmiska, “Introduction,” first chapter in Modern Paganism in World Cultures: Comparative Perspectives
  • Essay 3: Week 6 - theories of Paganism

Friday 6/13

  • Finish Project Proposal 
  • Saturday 6/14

    • Protest at the capitol 

    Sunday 6/15

    • BIG GAY MARKET

    Week 6

    Monday 6/16

    • GYM AT 5:30
    • Read: Mary Oliver, “Wild Geese,”  “The Summer Day” 
    • Read: Leila Chatti, “Confession”
    • Write reflection paper  - Poetry as Religion 
    • Discussion Board since there is no class

    Tuesday 6/17

    • Watch: Week 7 Lecture: Ásatrú, Heathenry, and Norse Paganism
    • Michael Strmiska (2000) article in Nova Religio, “Ásatrú: The Revival of Nordic  Paganism?,” (2005)
    • Ásatrú chapter in Modern Paganism in World Cultures, “Ásatrú: Nordic Paganism in Iceland and America,”
    Wednesday 6/18

    • (2007) Pomegranate article, “Putting The Blood Back Into Blot: The Revival of Animal Sacrifice in Modern Nordic Paganism,”
    • unpublished 2012 conference paper, “On Becoming A Pariah.” 

    Thursday 6/19

    • NO CLASS
    • Discussion/Bulletin board 
    • Essay 4: Week 7 - Ásatrú: Modern Norse-Germanic Paganism.

    Friday 6/20

    • FIRM DEADLINE FOR FINAL PROPOSAL

    Saturday 6/21

    • Shamanism Retreat

    Sunday 6/22

    • watch: documentaries on Ásatrú. 


    Reading Week

    Monday 6/23

    • GYM AT 5:30

    Tuesday 6/24

    • Watch Week 8 Lecture: Modern Celtic Paganism - 1.05 hr
    • Marion Bowman articles “Cardiac Celts: Images of the Celts in Paganism” and “Arthur and Bridget in Avalon: Celtic Myth, Vernacular Religion and Contemporary Spirituality in Glastonbury.”  

    Wednesday 6/25

    • Jenny Butler, Chapter 3 on “Modern Celtic Druidry” in Modern Paganism in World Cultures

    Thursday 6/26

    • Essay 5: Week 8 - Druidry: Modern Celtic Paganism
    • Discussion/Bulletin Board 

    Friday 6/27

    Saturday 6/28

    Sunday 6/29


    Week 7

    Monday 6/30

    • GYM AT 5:30

    Tuesday 7/1

    • Michael Strmiska and Rudra Dundzila (2005) Chapter 7 in Modern Paganism in World Cultures, “Romuva: Lithuanian Paganism in Lithuania and America,” 
    • Watch Week 9 Lecture: Modern Baltic Paganism

    Wednesday 7/2

    • Janis Tupešu (1987) “The Ancient Latvian Religion-Dievturība,“ 
    • Agita Misane (1999) “National Mythology in the History of Ideas in Latvia,” 
    • Gatis Ozoliņš (2013), “The Dievturi Movement in Latvia as Invention of Tradition,” 
    • (2013) Cultural Fusions article.

    Thursday 7/3

    • Class 5:45-9
    • Discussion/Bulletin board 
    • Essay 6: Week 9: Baltic Paganism: Romuva in Lithuania and Dievturi in Latvia

    Friday 7/4

    • OBOD Meeting

    Saturday 7/5

    Sunday 7/6

    • Film: documentaries on Baltic Paganism.


    Week 8

    Monday 7/7

    • GYM AT 5:30

    Tuesday 7/8

    • Watch Week 10 Lecture: The Goddess Spirituality Movement - 57 min
    Wednesday 7/9

    • Excerpts from Wendy Griffin, ed., Daughters of the Goddess and 
    • Jone Salomonsen, Enchanted Feminism: The Reclaiming Witches of San Francisco;
    •  also Starhawk and Charlotte Allen articles.

    Thursday 7/10

    • Class 5:45-9
    • Discussion/Bulletin board 
    • Essay 7: Week 10: Goddess Religion and Feminist Witchcraft. 

    Friday 7/11

    Saturday 7/12

    • REN FAIRE WITH MOM

    Sunday 7/13

      • Watch: Signs Out Of Mind, Marija Gimbutas documentary, and/or short films featuring Starhawk and other Goddess Religion leaders.


      Week 9

      Monday 7/14

      • GYM AT 5:30

      Tuesday 7/15

      • Watch Week 11 Lecture: Santería and Voodoo: Afro-Caribbean Paganism?
      • Chapters from George Brandon, Santeria from Africa to the New World

      Wednesday 7/16

      • Shamanism group Call
      • Mary Anne Clark article, “Santería Sacrificial Rituals.

      Thursday 7/17

      • Class 5:45-9
      • Discussion/Bulletin board 
      • Essay 8: Week 11- Santería: An Afro-Cuban New Religious Movement.

      Friday 7/18

      Saturday 7/19

      Sunday 7/20

      • watch documentaries on Santería and African religion.


      Week 10

      Monday 7/21

      • GYM AT 5:30

      Tuesday 7/22

      • Watch Week 12 Lecture: Politics and Paganism
      • Michael Strmiska, “Pagan Politics in the 21st Century: “Peace and Love” or “Blood and Soil?;” 
      • Egil Asprem, “Heathens Up North: Polemics and Contemporary Norse Paganism in Norway,”

      Wednesday 7/23

      •  Tammy Castle & Tara Parsons, “Vigilante or Viking? Contesting the Mediated Constructions of Soldiers of Odin Norge” (2017);
      •  ADL (Anti-Defamation League) (no author) “Soldiers of Odin USA: The Extreme European Anti-Refugee Group Comes to America” (2016); 
      • Starhawk, “Toward an Activist Spirituality” (2003). 

      Thursday 7/24

      • Class 5:45-9
      • Discussion/Bulletin board 
      • Essay 9: Week 12 - Politics and Paganism

      Friday 7/25

      Saturday 7/26

      Sunday 7/27

      • Watch Documentary TBD 


      Week 11

      Monday 7/28

      • GYM AT 5:30

      Tuesday 7/29

      • Work on Final paper/Project

      Wednesday 7/30

      • Work on Final paper/Project

      Thursday 7/31

      • Class 5:45-9
      • Discussion/Bulletin board 

      Friday 8/1

      • OBOD Meeting?
      • Finish final Project
      Saturday 8/2

      Sunday 8/3


      Week 12

      Monday 8/4

      • GYM AT 5:30

      Tuesday 8/5

      • Work on Final Paper

      Wednesday 8/6

      • Work on Final Paper

      Thursday 8/8

      • Class 5:45-9
      • Discussion/Bulletin board 
      • Presentation of final paper/project DUE
      • FINAL DUE

      Friday 8/9

      • OBOD Meeting?
      • Finish Final Paper

      Saturday 8/10

      Sunday 8/11

      • Final Paper DUE


      Faerie Fantasy Ball - Fully Immersive

       Alex and I are going to a fully immersive fantasy faerie ball this fall!! I am so excited! I'll get to dance with an actor and go on quests and stuff! Its pretty much larping and i am SO EXCITED 


      That being said.... I chose the Dreamweaver Court (Aether and Stars): The heart if the realm, where fate is spun between celestial light. Dreams and Reality blur in this ehtereal sanctuary where starlit magic shapes destiny. 


      I know everyone is going to go black and sparkly or dark navy and sparkly for starlight....so I want to go more Aether... 


      I need help picking out a dress:


      https://www.kistania.com/collections/gothic-dress/products/elegant-bubble-sleeve-bandaged-high-rise-a-line-square-neck-maxi-dress


      https://www.kistania.com/collections/gothic-dress/products/elegant-off-shoulder-bandaged-sleeveless-high-rise-dress?variant=45430a53-0442-4522-8f8d-2e8762f89d01


      https://www.kistania.com/collections/gothic-dress/products/elegant-sleeveless-plunging-neck-bandaged-embroidered-high-rise-maxi-dress?variant=7111bb31-6e1c-4d1f-b725-4dfff311b8e8


      https://www.kistania.com/collections/gothic-dress/products/elegant-off-shoulder-boat-neck-bandaged-maxi-dress?variant=dbe679aa-8d1d-4525-949b-0b6553e7dde8



      https://www.kistania.com/collections/gothic-dress/products/elegant-sleeveless-off-shoulder-bandaged-halter-maxi-dress?variant=cfe611ca-b8e5-4d5a-b0f4-a39f8f28ed14


      https://www.kistania.com/collections/gothic-dress/products/elegant-sleeveless-plunging-neck-boat-neck-high-rise-maxi-dress




      https://www.kistania.com/collections/gothic-dress/products/elegant-mesh-bandaged-off-shoulder-boat-neck-a-line-maxi-dress











      Wednesday, April 30, 2025

      Tiny living actual options

       Okay if I’m gonna do tiny living that I’m not converting, here are some serious ones to consider. 


      By myself: 

      - finished small skoolie: https://vanlifetrader.com/listing/1991-skoolie-charming-home-on-wheels/

      - actual camper:  https://rv.campingworld.com/rv/2025-forest-river-wolf-pup-16bhsw-2402523-wauconda-il?indexName=rvcw-inventory_recommended&queryID=2ddfe50ba93e6b0796cff1afb6e0f229

      - tiny home camper (loft): https://rv.campingworld.com/rv/2024-forest-river-timberwolf-16ml-2364863-wauconda-il

      - tiny HOUSE on wheels - loft & flex room cheaper: https://tumbleweedhouses.com/emf-shielded-tiny-home/#

      - tiny HOUSE on wheels - loft & flex room preference: https://tumbleweedhouses.com/farallon-built-for-snow/#

      If I have a partner: 

      - 2 lofts and a flex room tiny HOUSE on wheels: https://tumbleweedhouses.com/2023-farallon-30-alta/#

      -


      Beltane flower spread

      1. The energy of Beltane this year: 19 The sun: enlightenment, success, vitality 
      2. What can I learn from Beltane this year: king of cups: focus on being kind and creative, being as good of a person and as true as I can. 
      3. How can I let light into my life: 9hermit and page of wands. I have a lot of internal work to do to get ready for this physical message coming from a person. 
      4. What areas should I release: 6 of swords, 7 of cups, 4 the emperor: releasing troubles and healing, release the fantasy you have or romance and be realistic, release your need to control everything. 
      5. What area of my life is ready to grow: 6 of cups: new perceptions of the past. (Relationships - acknowledge the good from them). 
      6. How can I manifest abundance: Ace of cups: nurture your current friendships 

      Saturday, April 26, 2025

      Summer Semester books

       The paganism syllabus is not available so I can only do the art one right now:


      Required
      • Kathryn Barush, Imaging Pilgrimage: Art as Embodied Experience
        • ISBN 979-8765103289
        • screw that I can't find it anywhere for under $35. Its free on the school website. 
        • https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.theoref.idm.oclc.org/lib/dtl/reader.action?docID=6647090&ppg=16
      • Art Spiegleman, The Complete Maus: A Survivor’s Tale (contains vol. 1 & 2)
        • ISBN 978-0679406419
        • Also free from library. 
        • https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/scy1zczvs99wl582dx30g/The-Complete-Maus.-Art-Spiegelman.-1.3042.pdf?rlkey=e9x3ldp8hxyi67tybghgysvei&e=1&dl=0
      • Natalie Wigg-Stevenson, Transgressive Devotion: Theology as Performance Art
        • ISBN 978-0334059479
        • too expensive to buy... hate reading edigitally but better to save $$
        • https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.theoref.idm.oclc.org/lib/dtl/reader.action?docID=6485549&ppg=1
      • Modern Paganism in World Cultures: Comparative Perspectives, ed. Michael Strmiska.  Bloomsbury-ABC CLIO. 2005. ISBN: 978185109684
        • https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.theoref.idm.oclc.org/lib/dtl/reader.action?docID=266832&c=UERG&ppg=1

      Summer classes - research paper plan

      •  Contemporary paganism - Asynchronous (Thursdays)
      • Art, Religion, and Contemporary Culture (Thursdays 5:45–9:00 p.m)

      For the Art Class, the final project I am choosing is:

      Final paper/project: this is an opportunity for students to draw on the readings, lectures, class conversations, and previous assignments to articulate their own informed understanding of the contemporary use of the arts as a means of theological or religious expression and reflection. Students will complete ONE of the following and present it to the class at the end of the term. 


      a) The creation of a work of art or popular culture, such as a painting, dance, poem, sculpture, graphic novel, etc. that speaks to an aspect of your religious practice. This will be accompanied by a researched, footnoted artist’s statement of approximately 5 pages that describes your ideas and contextualizes them.  

      I'm going to do do a burlesque dance. I am. I'll make sure not to go down to pasties nor would I be making anything sexy. But there is something truly divine and spiritual about stripping away the surface level story and revealing the vulnerable truth and message underneath through dance. So I'm not sure what yet but I'll have things written on my skin. I may do something with fans or Some form of flow in there as well - this is meant to be BEAUTIFUL not sexy and fun.  I want to show the ART of burlesque. 

      As for the 5 page papers...

      • page breaking down how burlesque is a spiritual act - this will delve into last semester's resources about authenticity as sacred, grab references from my queer performance paper. 
      • Introduction to my spiritual practice - Shadow work and witchcraft; Circle back to burlesque - an example of imitative magic for shadow work. Explain imitative magic. Explain shadow work. Then explain the big picture
      • introduce the gods I work with and which ones inspire me for the dance. (Cernunnos , Lilith, Brigid)
      • Break down the song and costume choices
      If she says no I will do a research paper on burlesque as the art piece and see if she'll approve that instead.  that would need to be 11-12 pages... the practice being witcraft and shadow work, devotional dance, and celebrating the authentic divinity of the soul. 

      For my sources:
      • Lartey, Emmanuel Y., and Hellena Moon, eds. Postcolonial Images of Spiritual Care:  Challenges of Care in a Neoliberal Age. Eugene, OR: Pickwick Publications, 2020
        • - page 27 on what spirituality is 
      • Lartey, Emmanuel Y. In Living Color: An Intercultural Approach to Pastoral Care and Counseling. 2nd ed. London and Philadelphia: Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2003.
        • pages 55-59: Lartey, in his solo book In Living Color, provides several models of pastoral care including social action, empowerment, and personal interaction - all of which are embodied in through burlesque
      • Dodds, Sherril. “Embodied Transformations in Neo-Burlesque Striptease.” Dance Research Journal 45, no. 3 (2013): 75–90. http://www.jstor.org/stable/43966084.
        • Explain the power of Burlesque! https://www.jstor.org/stable/43966084?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents
      • Buszek, Maria-Elena. “Representing ‘Awarishness’: Burlesque, Feminist Transgression, and the 19th-Century Pin-Up.” TDR (1988-) 43, no. 4 (1999): 141–62. http://www.jstor.org/stable/1146802.
        • On women in theater and how their independence is a threat to society (Lilith focus)
        • https://www.jstor.org/stable/1146802?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents
      •  Pollack-Pelzner, Daniel. “Shakespeare Burlesque and the Performing Self.” Victorian Studies 54, no. 3 (2012): 401–9. https://doi.org/10.2979/victorianstudies.54.3.401.
        • More on burlesque as a personal performance for self.
        • https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.2979/victorianstudies.54.3.401?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents
      • Buckland, Theresa Jill. “Dance, Authenticity and Cultural Memory: The Politics of Embodiment.” Yearbook for Traditional Music 33 (2001): 1–16. https://doi.org/10.2307/1519626
        • Dance in conversation with other areas of study
        • https://www.jstor.org/stable/1519626?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents
      • COYLE, SUZANNE M. Uncovering Spiritual Narratives: Using Story in Pastoral Care and Ministry. Augsburg Fortress, 2014. https://doi.org/10.2307/j.ctt22nm7hf.
        • PRetty self explanatory. I'm buying this damn book so it better be helpful in the future
      • Gaskill, Malcolm. 2010. Witchcraft : A Very Short Introduction. Oxford: Oxford University Press. Accessed April 26, 2025. ProQuest Ebook Central.
        • Book on Witcraft.. honestly i think i could get some really good quotes from this. 
        • https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.theoref.idm.oclc.org/lib/dtl/reader.action?docID=684591&ppg=1'
      • Benussi, Matteo. (2019) 2023. “Magic”. In The Open Encyclopedia of Anthropology, edited by Felix Stein. Facsimile of the first edition in The Cambridge Encyclopedia of Anthropology. Online: http://doi.org/10.29164/19magic
        •  https://www.anthroencyclopedia.com/entry/magic
        • https://anthroholic.com/forms-of-magic?srsltid=AfmBOoplHEziSc_FdogfJxn52KE_9Zwf34G3Fc-WLAVU1MwbNCwnFrDE
      • BERGER, HELEN A., ed. Witchcraft and Magic: Contemporary North America. University of Pennsylvania Press, 2005. http://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt3fh7kf.
        • Another book on Witcraft I can probably use a lot on. 
        • https://www-jstor-org.theoref.idm.oclc.org/stable/j.ctt3fh7kf

      recent reflection 2:

       I’m going to be real for a minute.

      My weight has always been a sensitive topic for me. For the longest time I was underweight. Then because of birth control my thyroid stopped working properly and I gained a lot of weight rapidly. Since then I have bounced between 140-150lbs and have hated my body. I did a scan today and it showed that since I’ve been going to the gym regularly… I have not lost weight. I have not slimmed down. In fact since my first scan my body composition has gotten WORSE.

      Other than when my thyroid stopped working this is probably the “chubbiest” I have been. I’ve had people tell me that I would be so much more attractive if I lost weight. I’ve had people with the same body as me tell me how ugly it was. I’ve had people tell me something was wrong with me because I wasn’t alarmed with the fact that technically I am obese (according to body composition). Here’s the thing…there are worse things than being chubby. You know what else? I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been. 

      I’ve been sober (from benzos) almost 8 years. My chronic pain has DRASTICALLY lessened. My mental health has improved (and that’s a good chunk thanks to Kat, Jack, and Rachael… and a LOT of work I have put into it). I havnt been horribly sick in about half a year. My relationship with food is a LOT better (when I first moved up to WI I had an eating problem that was headed towards a disorder). Now what I eat may not be the best but that is a soap box for another time. (No food is guilt free because guilt is not an ingredient. The only “bad food” is food that it rotten or that you’re allergic to.) 

      My body doesn’t decide how beautiful I am. I’m hot. Like seriously - I’m single by choice not from lack of options. I’m funny (especially when I’m not trying to be). I’m optimistic and full of positive energy. I light up a room when I’m feeling confident. I love to sing and laugh and smile - I’m authentic and I insure that in others. I am beautiful inside and out… and yes, I’m overweight and that doesn’t change a damn thing. 

      Will I loose weight in the future? Who knows 🤷‍♀️ as long as I am happy and healthy and loving my best life it doesn’t matter. 

      Reflection 1: Gratitude

       I usually try to do these posts about a year apart but feel called to post early. My cards predict some big positive changes this summer so maybe I’ll post again… but I’ve been reflecting over how my life is going and I just have to say I’m grateful. 

      Last year I had been in wisconsin for a little under a year. I was still trying to find my place up here and even though I was positive I honestly felt a little lost. Lovely. Homesick. I still feel a bit home sick but at the same time I’ve really started to find my way up here. 

      School is going well. I’m finding my path there and just keep getting reaffirmed that it’s the right thing for me. Work is going well, I feel safe and secure and more confident there. Socially I’ve really developed and nurtured some good friendships. 

      Some things have happened that made me feel alone and scared and then i stopped and really looked at the people in my life. I have people to support me - they encourage me and have repeatedly told me that they aren’t going anywhere. I have people who celebrate me even when I don’t celebrate myself. I have people who, even if we don’t agree on something, go out of their way to check on me and make sure I feel cared for. It’s small but I do actually have community and support and I really have no need to be afraid. 

      I just signed a lease for a new apartment. It might actually be the nicest one I’ve ever lived in with a roommate I feel lucky to have. Plus it’s in a safe neighborhood so I can try to start feeling safe again at night. 

      I’d be lying if I said everything was perfect. I’m still lonely and I know my person is out there, but I’m content not to hunt for them. They’ll show up eventually and for the first time in years I’m not yearning - I’m patient. Spiritually I’m not where I wish I was but I’m also learning to let go of control and embrace natural timing and learning to try to trust my intuition. I’m more capable than I realize. 

      My friends and my family are happy and healthy. I have no major stressors. I’m starting to feel secure in life and that’s a new one for me. I’m just blessed and grateful. 

      Tuesday, April 1, 2025

      Self esteem

      In talking with my primary spirit guide, we talked about one of the biggest obstacles in my spiritual growth… I am supposed to be connecting with the god Cernunnos. This God wants me to live more authentically to myself, and that will better enhance my life, my spiritual practice, and make me grow stronger magically.

      The issue is, I do not feel safe to truly be my authentic self, because I attract too much attention when I am too authentic. This attention is unwanted, and often has a negative effect on my emotional mental and physical well-being.

      So I asked him how do I work on this self esteem issue so that I can better connect with Cernnunos, and progress spiritually…. Without having to wait for my life partner to show up and make me feel safe?

      This was his advice:

      - Dancing burlesque played a part in your authenticity, confidence, and self-esteem back in North Carolina. While the time of performing has passed, you should examine what it was about burlesque that strengthened you and helped you truly express your authentic self… Then find a way to bring that into your life now. (36)

      - continue working on your laundry list of unfinished business in the mental and emotional realm with therapy. This includes childhood trauma, relationship, trauma, routing out the cause of the feelings of unworthiness. You can’t make progress forward with things holding you back, actively.  (65)

      - actually rely on the spirit community that you have. You hesitate to ask and feel unworthy of receiving. ask. There are those that would give unconditional giving, you just need to be vulnerable enough to allow it and ask for the help. pray to the gods when you need them, don’t just suffer alone. They don’t know what’s going on in your life if you don’t talk to them, so talk to them and don’t be afraid to ask for help. (46)

      - you need to change the way you think about yourself and take on new perspectives when it comes to yourself. It’s the difference between working out because you hate your body and working out because you love your body. That point of view shift will be paramount. The belief that you are lesser, that you are weak, that you are alone, that you are unworthy… This You need a new perspective. (43 & 56)

      - if you feel things shifting and changing, don’t fight it. Don’t slip back into old patterns, don’t think about the dangers, just embrace it and go with it breaking down the structures that keep you from living authentically will take time. You will need to take it down brick by brick, when you get tired or scared and want to hide behind the walls, don’t let yourself do it. Do the opposite and take a jackhammer. (64)

      - - lighten up! This is some thing that should be joyful and fun. You will have more luck with this in playfulness and goofiness then you will seeing it as a chore. This is not some mountain to take down. Look at it in its simplest form. This is an adventure, not a struggle.


      Monday, March 31, 2025

      hinduism discussion board

       Interestingly, I find the idea of selfless action to be in line with the Taoist concept of non-action. Selfless action being about doing something for the purity of the duty itself, not because you have attchment to the results and non-action being acting in line with the universe without forcing a particular outcome. This parallel is driven home in Chapter 2, verse 47: "You have the right to work, but never to the fruit of work. You should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction." Its interesting as this is all about how one's mental state is while doing something, not in the action itself. 

      "Nishkama karma is not “good works” or philanthropic activity; work can benefit others and still carry a substantial measure of ego involvement. Such work is good, but it is not yoga. It may benefit others, but it will not necessarily benefit the doer. Everything depends on the state of mind. Action without selfish motive purifies the mind: the doer is less likely to be ego-driven later. The same action done with a selfish motive entangles a person further, precisely by strengthening that motive so it is more likely to prompt selfish action again. (pg 53)"

      I would argue that Krishna abandoning his divine state and reincarnating in human form every so often to guide humanity would be a form of Nishkama Karma. Chapter 4, verse 7&8 : "Whenever dharma declines and the purpose of life is forgotten, I manifest myself on earth. I am born in every age to protect the good,to destroy evil, and to reestablish dharma." 

      On the one hand he is taking action because life is out of balance; which one might take to mean he is invested in the outcome. However I didn't interpret this as a "I want good to win so I am getting involved!" I see this more in the way that Ma'at was maintained in Egypt - he is not acting out of a personal desire but rather out of  a duty to maintain balance.  Following one's duty, regardless of outcome, because it is one's duty. 

      (I see why Krishna is compared to Jesus often, and why when missionaries first tried to bring Chrisitanity to India Jesus was seen as anaother Avatar of him.)


      Tuesday, March 25, 2025

      Final papers....

       I have 3 final papers. 


      2 (both 7-8 pages; one with a presentation) due April 13th. Meaning one I need to do the 7th - 11th and the other I need to do the 31st - 4th. 

      THE PRESENTATION IS DUE MARCH 3RD. FUCK THATS A TIGHT TURN AROUND. Write paper Monday and Tuesday. Presentation on Wednesday and submit. 

      1. Background and community contexts of the care you offered. Be mindful of confidentiality.
      2. The main issues of pastoral and spiritual care involved. Consider the topics of race, class, gender, and/or sexuality. --> Forigivenes vs revenge. Why he can't seem to move on even though he has won. 
      3. Your theological reflection on the care you provided. --> Forgiveness. Lilithian perspective. 
      4. A possible care plan for the person or the community you provided care for.  ---> Chord cutting ceremony and Therapy recommended


      Meaning I need to do the short one (3-4 pages) - THIS WEEK. I should do it tomorrow...

      https://unitedseminary.instructure.com/courses/1528/assignments/10351

      • Consider intersected issues of spiritual care and social justice and provide the reasons why you have these interests.
      • Describe the insights or new knowledge you have gained from the readings.
      • Discuss what you have found disturbing or disagreeable in the readings.
      • How have the readings affirmed or challenged your theological perspectives?
      • How would you apply the sociocultural and global aspects in the readings to your practice of pastoral/spiritual care?
      I'll just use the chapter I did about the queer community.