i feel heavy... like i'm weighed down my bricks. my limbs feel like they are liquid lead... uuuuuuuughh when will this end??? i don't want to cry anymore. i'm tired of crying.... i'm not crying right now... but i feel like i have been. even though i havn't cried today. i feel like if i stop doing things for too long i will start crying... which i don't want to. at the same time i do want to cry...and i want to be held while i cry and then maybe i'll feel better.
i want someone to be able to say "i know how you feel. its ok.... its ok..." and just..idk. my mom and aunt have done that...so has my sister, but i just...don't know.
i want it to go away. I.AM.ALRIGHT. i mean seriously, its not that big of a deal...why do i want attention so bad? why is my body so sad?
its not that big of a deal. most people can't even tell hat anything has happened, they don't even suspect that i'm upset.
i want someone to notice...
i mean.. damn...
i don't like to be so gloomy. and i know it won't ;ast long but i HATE feeling like this. i need to get out and flirt and have fun.
i need to find someone to flirt with.
thats it..
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