OK so i have been living in a non stop daydream. the world hasn't really been feeling 100% real to me. i think it was because i was dating jake. it was somethign i wanted, but what wasn't right for me and it threw me out of balance. sinc ehe broke up wth me, i feel things a bit more sharply and see a bit more clearly. Plus i finally got the courage up to talk to the cute mystery girl from the UU church...her name is Lelani (Le-lon-ee) and she just graduated from college (so...she is maybe 23-24?) and majored in dance.
and Ashley, the cute one from online, not ashley my best girl friend, has finally replied to my message :3
i believe the gods are looking out for me and i trust them.
its time for me to let go of the past and the dream of being normal (dating a guy) and live and be normal (dating a girl).
i love jake. he is my guy best friend. that is what he will remain for the rest of my life.
i will not allow things to progress again. i don't think he will ever want to again.
i just need to trust the gods and trust myself.
funny thing? I've had "harden my heart" in my head the whole day.... i think the universe was trying to warn me :P
look out ladies, here i come ;P
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