daddy

a term unknown to me,
yet i have tried to fill this role.
I have tried family members.
Different teachers.

and then there is you.
You who are unrelated to me by blood.
Our Families are not close.
We've known each other for 4 years.

there were times when i feared
you hated me
Times when i worried
i had disappointed you.

But it was with you i realized
i CAN do things.
it was with you i realized
its OK to make mistakes,
to learn from them.

You, who's praises made me glow with pride;
and when you saw me make a mistake
i flush with embarrassment.
I always strive to impress you.

But alas, it has been 4 years.
my time with you is dwindling.
and i find i want you to know all this,
how i feel.

The thought of loosing you, so precious to me,
moves me to tears.
Every affectionate word you give me feels like goodbye,
yet it stays in my heart.

For something so unknown to me as a father,
you are the closest thing in my heart that i have.
And now i'm loosing you. You who always called yourself
"Big Daddy".

(I'm the one in the khaki jacket facing Woolard, all you see is my back and hood)

thank you for being an amazing Teacher. thank you for being an amazing coach. thank you for being like the dad i never had.