DID OR OSDD: DOES IT MATTER? by Carolyn Spring | 5 August 2020

I just read an article about OSDD and DID, the differences, and similarities... and I can only say that it was one of the most reassuring things I have read. 

 here is the link if you want to read it. If you are an important person in my life, then I would appreciate it if you would take the time to read it. 

https://www.carolynspring.com/blog/did-or-osdd-does-it-matter/?unapproved=1631176&moderation-hash=7a8651e9eeca0184139b271ed446e9f6#comment-1631176

I have been made by others to feel invalid. I have struggled with placing my alters because there is less distinction between them than some of the others I have seen in people. 

I've recently learned that I have more selves/alters than I thought, as before anytime I felt someone who wasn't 100% me, I just grouped in with Fiona. I know now that is not the case thanks to the help of some other friends who have OSDD as well. 

i am a spectrum. A scale. 

One one end I have a self that Fiona calls "the flower child". She herself has not taken a name. 

Both my friends and several other people I have met online have named their systems so I feel its fair to do so as well. 

The Court System

Seelie Court/Unseelie Court

100/0 - Flower Child

90/10 - Flower Child

80/20 - Flower Child

70/30 - "Seelie Lisa"

60/40 - ***This is my natural state most days  ------

50/50 - *** this is a natural state most days.          II- Lisa

40/60 - ***this is a natural state most days.     ------

30/70 - "Unseelie Lisa"

20/80 - Fiona **Fiona's usual state. 

10/90 - Fiona

0/100 - Fiona and I have VERY fuzzy to no memory. 

Fiona is very distinctly different from me. Flower Child... she is less strikingly different but she is different enough that I can tell when I'm her, my thinking changes, and I sometimes don't recognize my own name. Fiona and I have cohabitation for so long that she can pretend to be me so well almost no one can spot her. 

There is also a "little" inside me who doesn't ever come out and who doesn't speak. My friends brought her out once and she was scared. No distinct age, but younger. She had very bad handwriting and didn't like being in the spotlight. 

90% of the time I am me. Generally the farthest I get is Seelie/Unseelie Lisa; Fiona goes in and out of "sleep" as she is mostly preoccupied with threats, danger, and survival. She was asleep for most of my relationship with Dalton, as she entrusted my safety to him. She is awake now.