Two Updates to report.
The First:
Friday I was given notice at work; I've made too many mistakes and I've been too off task. One more mishap and I will be let go.
I have a lot of feelings about this.
1) Panic. Pure Panic. I have never been fired before. I don't know how this will affect my future. I'm moving in 3-5 months; what kind of job will hire me for that?
2) Irritation; on one hand if they actually gave me enough tasks to be "be on" then I wouldn't ever be off task. I'm sorry I can't sit and do nothing but stare out of a window for hours on end. If they think me going back to staring out of a window for hours is going to reduce my mistakes they are mistaken - it will in fact do the opposite. (Without enough to do, I hyperfocus. When I hyperfocus but get interrupted [ by the phone - it's always the phone] my brain goes blank and THAT is where I make mistakes. But If I am constantly busy, then I multitask and don't hyperfocus.
NOT TO MENTION that they moan about needing someone in bindery, experienced or willing to learn, yet every time I ask to be taught or if I can help in bindery I get told "no, we need you up front". OBVIOUSLY I don't seem to be doing that great upfront!
3) Rage; yes I have been making mistakes lately. But I know one of the major contributing factors is that there was a REALLY big order that we had to do for free because of miscommunication and bad time management... the miscommunication was NOT on my end as after I took the initial order and initial graphics new information and graphics were sent to another person, and I was no lumber connected to or had anything to do with the order other than being notified that everything was then being sent to this other person. But guess who everyone found a way to blame it on.
4) Indignation; I should have fucking left them when I had the chance. But they were/are suffering and floundering ever since Matthew, and let's face it - Madison, left. I didn't want to screw them up anymore than what was already happening, especially because if I left another coworker said she was going to leave. She probably still will leave when I'm fired and she has to do what I do as well, since I have to help her through taking orders and understanding how to write certain things up.
5) Annoyance;.... Really? I will move in 3 months. You can't wait 3 months? You say I'm too important to take away from the front but can't wait just 3 months to fire me?
...
So I have applied to a call center; I won't feel bad about leaving that in 3-5 months.
I've applied to a bank teller job here in greenville; it will at least pay me better than what I make here (which I desperately need) and I should be able to transfer to another branch after I move.
I also applied for a bank teller manager position in Wilmington; I really hope I get that one because ideally I would train at and then work a regular teller job in a greenville branch and then have the higher job when I move.
I've also got Mary Beth's mom going through her network to see about finding me a cheaper place to live in Wilmington/Leland which would be a godssend.
Because even just having my rent as low as 750 instead of 850 means I could get approval for an apartment while making only 27000; although I would aim to make more. That's $520 a week to get approval for a place to live. Anything lower than that in rent and I would be golden.
But yeah, that's update 1.
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