"Journey" Homework...

 I have tried to journey a few times on my own and not had much success. I did have two very brief interactions

1) I did not realize I was journeying until after. I felt moved to daydream, the same way I do when I feel pulled to dance which sometimes means I might get a message from the other side. I couldn't daydream so I took my dog for a walk outside. I was playing music and walking her against the wind, I thought I was just daydreaming but the usual messenger did not appear... instead I saw a man. It was with my minds eye, so I figured just a part of the day dream. As I walked on with my dog I dreamt I was walking closer to him and I realized he was a kelpie. People around him were shying away in fear so I swallowed mine and walked right up to him without hesitating and hugged him. When he did not react badly, I raised my hand for just a moment and saw that I was not stuck (kelpies and stick you to their skin so they can drown and eat you). So I tried to sing to him, I did so out loud, the cold made it hard and only every other word came out, not sounding good at all. But he lowered his head with his ear closer to me so he could hear me and embraced me to his chest while doing so. I felt... safe. 

When I finished the chorus I stopped singing and with my face against him, relaxed as we held each other, said "You're not alone anymore". I FELT HIM ACKNOWLEDGE THIS and immediately snapped out of the "daydream" and started to cry. I'm not sure if that was in regards tot he sub zero wind blowing in my face or the momentary connection I had, but realized I had journeyed because I had actually made contact with the spirit of a kelpie. I felt his presence acknowledge what I had said... that doesn't happen in my daydreams. 

2) Preparing to go to sleep tonight I asked my ancestors for guidance. I said that I know they provide it more often than I am aware of and that I was sorry for not recognizing it but that I was grateful. Other than school and work I don't know what I am supposed to be doing right now. I don't know what I should be focusing on... self care? I have been. Resting? With being sick, I have been forced to. Ever since that talk at the session I have been letting my body relax and rest. But I feel like I am missing something. (I said all this to them). Then I opened myself up and just listened.

At first I heard bubbling water.. like I was sinking below the surface and air bubbles were escaping. Then I saw that I was at the bottom of some source of murky water. I couldn't see around me but I could see up the surface... it was a very long way to swim. I sensed movement around me, a predator in the water. The same feeling I imagine one would have while swimming with a shark... but I was not afraid. I was not in any  danger. The Kelpie was around but he did not show himself.

The surface was so very far and for a moment I thought about asking the kelpie to help me get there, but then I paused and asked myself why did I want to go to the surface? I was not in danger of being eaten, not in any danger of drowning, here in the water it wasn't cold or chaotic and to my surprise I wasn't in a soul cage (usually when I meditate and find myself under water its in a soul cage). When I realized I didn't know if I actually wanted to go up to the surface I jolted out of the journey, unable to get back. 

I did audibly ask "What the heck was that supposed to mean??" and got up to write this.