open

so i talked to Corie.

she pretty much said w had 2 main options:

1.Break-up
2. Have an open relationship

now..Corie isn't one to have sex with strangers/one-night-stands. Which means there will be emotions involved. which would either lead to a poly-relationship or me and her breaking up.

if i'm being open.. i don't think i can do it.

I'm not a jealous person. And i think its because i trust the person i'm dating and don't worry about it.

but sharing her? in a relationship?
just thinking about it makes me jealous....

which would lead to us breaking up.


not going to lie, as soon as i pulled away from her apartment i almost started crying.


but i talked to my mom.

she suggested that i get my hormones checked. she said "its like you're stuck in a twelve year old's body when it comes to that" and i agree.

so i'm going to try to figure out how and when to get my hormones tested.
if they are unbalanced.... i'll see about fixing it.
if i'm balanced and "normal".... then my life just got a hell of a lot harder.

seriously...

if corie and i do end up breaking up?

if i see a girl, there is a 50/50 chance she is into other girls. then 1/2 that because she may be in a relationship.  then 1/2 that for her chance of liking me and 1/2 that for the chance i like her.

thats 6.25% chance.... THEN half that to see if she is ok with an almost sex-less relationship.
3.125% chance of me finding a potential mate.

fml.