spectrum: I'M NOT ALONE (Grey - A)

i'm not alone in this.

i'm not the only one who feels this way about sex.

i messaged my asexual friend and she told me to look somethign up... "Grey-A" or grey asexuality.
its on the asexuality scale.

i pulled up some articles:

• But where do gray-sexual people really differ from sexual people? “Personally when I am in a  sexual relationship, I notice that I never initiate, my partner can physically arouse me and then I’ll go with it but before that happens it just doesn’t really occur to me” http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-11-22/what-it-means-to-be-gray-sexual/

Q: What is Grey-Asexuality?  A sexual orientation on the asexual spectrum in which one experiences sexual attraction rarely, only under specific circumstances, without libido, or not strongly enough to act on. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=graysexual

Grey-A is a term that describes a broad range of folks who DO experience sexual attraction, but they have "asexual-like" traits, such as a low sex-drive, a lack of desire to act on sex, or limited attraction, among other things. https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120716181740AAp6J18

Asexuality and sexuality are not black and white; some people identify in the gray (spelled "grey" in some countries) area between them. People who identify as gray-A can include, but are not limited to those who:

          -do not normally experience sexual attraction, but do experience it sometimes
          -experience sexual attraction, but a low sex drive
          -experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them
          -people who can enjoy and desire sex, but only under very limited and specific                circumstances http://asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Gray-A

• How can someone be “Gray”?  You’re either asexual or you’re not.  :  Is it clear where you fit if you’ve only felt sexual attraction once in your entire life, then never again?  Is it clear where you fit if you occasionally feel something that could potentially be sexual attraction, but it’s so weak that a passing breeze is enough to make it stop?  Is it clear where you fit if you’re sometimes sexually attracted to people and you like sex, but don’t feel any drive to seek it out and would be fine without it?  Is it clear where you fit if you’re not sure what sexual attraction even is, let alone whether or not you’ve felt it?  Gray-asexuals live in this land of confusion. http://www.asexualityarchive.com/under-the-ace-umbrella/

guys.

this is me.

it makes so much sense.

i want to cry.