spectrum thoughts continued

this post branches from my last.

since i'm already talking about how weird i am in the sexual sense...

i don't understand why people are so into it.

i don't see the appeal.

i don't see why people crave it.

i don't see why people feel the desire.

i just don't get it.

i get that it feels good...

but so does a hot bath.

if its the physical connection, then why is it any better than cuddling?

i just don't understand it.

at all.

i get that its something that is good for the body.

and if conditions are right, then yes my body craves it...i guess.

but its not some insatiable urge, nor is it hard for me to shut it off.

i can go from "turned on" to "off" very quickly. in a matter of seconds. while in the middle of having sex.

it has happened.

i don't intend to, but it just happens.

i don't see why people want to cause that kind of reaction in others.

has horrible as it sounds.... i don't really understand it, unless its a power thing.

I don't mind doing something to my partner because its something they want.
i don't particularly feel the desire to do anything sexual with them without prompting.

but.

as horrible as it sounds...

sex can be used to manipulate.

certain sounds, looks, and behavior cause different reactions in the other person.
knowing what to do or say to bring that other person pleasure is a powerful thing.

being able to bring about the reaction that you want, gives you power over that person.
having an effect on the other person, gives you power.

thats the only way i can understand it.

ok... so say that this is the way that person A thinks.
person B enjoys pleasing others.
A can manipulate things so that B feels in control and is getting their desired results.
that fact that B feels that way is the desired result of A.

its all a mental thing to me.
sex is manipulation.

thats the only appeal i see in it?

this isn't how a normal person is with sex.

from what i gather most people want sex because it feels good to them and they want to make the other person feel good.

i get that... but i don't. i understand the logic of it but i don't particularly feel the same.

why.
am.
i.
so.
fucking.
weird?