things got better after the anxiety attacks.
for one, all the girls (amy, chasidy, and lexi) bambarded me in the bathroom and i was being smothered with hugs and being told how awesome i am. (aw. it was sweet). They figured with this being the first time me being out with ayla and Jimmie i was feeling self conscious.
and maybe i was, just a very little bit.
but i think it had more to do with the fact that i was calling ayla my girlfriend to everyone when in all actuality shes not. She Jimmie's other girlfriend and shes someone i'm kinda seeing/being friends with. And putting up faces for the sake of simplicity was getting to me.
i looked damn fine too.
things got better after everyone moved to the bar or outside to smoke, then it was just me and ayla and amy for a bit. I started dancing.... felt dumb but then started having some much fun i didn't care. I love dancing to lounge music. its the easiest and silliest way to dance and it put me at ease. I danced with ayla. I danced with Jimmie. I danced by myself mostly.... and it felt great.
i pulled myself out of my funk and panic and anxiety and emotions and just....danced. I didn't have to think anymore. didn't have to worry about brooks. Or jimmie. or Ayla. just move my body to the sound of easy and happy music.
and i felt better.
.... the double shot of frangelico probably helped just a smidge.
No comments:
Post a Comment