OK... so i'ma be straight with you all. i'm not a very jealous person, but today i got jealous...
so i hung out with jake today. he came over and decided to take us out to the mall (my twin and i). and... i got jealous of my sister because he was joking around with her more than me. wtf????
and he started talking about the girl he is seeing... and i got jealous.
but in the mall he bumped into a guy because he was "looking" at me. i said "huh" and he said "i trucked the guy because he was looking at you" and he said it while looking me in the eyes...my heart fluttered.
so i have made a decision about jake. i will hide these feelings from him until i get a girlfriend (allison is the top contenter) in which case the emotions will simmer down (i believe) and it won't be a problem. if they don't, then i will wait until he is single and not seeing someone or trying to, and talk to him about it. but like i said i believe they will go dormant again.
but something keeps going through my head. when i was talking to him the other night about how i was afraid of loosing him, he said that "my opinion of you hasn't changed in 3 years" .
3 years ago we dated.... but 3 years ago we stopped talking after we broke up.... and then we became friend again. so... what did he mean by that? i keep telling myself that its the "we can be friend again" opinion from 3 years ago... but my heart is hoping its the other....
right. hide the feelings till i get a gf and only if they don't simmer down and he is single do i ask him: "how exactly do you feel about me?"
i hope that when i'm in college i can give him the link to my blog, which i think will be safe because thats a year away and these posts will be far away enough he'll never see them xD
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