Growth

It wasn’t that I am not enough.

As I thought he was just pushing me away.

This revolves around growth. He needs to grow and feels that growing alone is the best option for him.

If by the time he feels he is where he wants to be, he still wants a future with me then he can reach out.
If I’m still there.

I don’t know how long he will need to grow into himself. And I mourn the relationship lost.
But I am weak.

I still want to be with him.
If he wants to cuddle I will not say no.
If he wants to run errands, I will not say no.
If he wants to go out and do things I will not say no.

But I will give him his space to grow. I will not invite him out to do things until I have moved out. That’s two months. I will Be here when he wants me and I will swallow the sorrow.

Because I know.

When I leave in August, I leave what we could have had behind me. And As painful as that is, I will drag it out as long as I can. I will take what I can get for as long as I can before he is gone from me completely.

I have two months of tears and heartbreak ahead.
But between them I get moments of comfort and peace.

I’ll take it.

Because soon, too soon, it will be gone.