Yeah.

I’ve decided.

I have sought the council of several people who are much older and wiser than myself.
Every single one of them agrees.

This is the right thing to do, for both our sakes.

I think about it and I can’t breathe.

But things have changed, and I havnt. There is no need to keep something alive and miserable when it’s only going to die in a short while anyway.

One second I’m sure. The next I’m not. The next I want to just cease to exist.  Then I’m struck by a sense of self preservation. Then the cycle repeats.

Monday I will go out and look at apartments.

I pray to the gods for a miracle because I really don’t want to do this.

But honestly, it’s time I concerned myself with my own happiness. I am done diminishing myself and lowering myself to please others.

This time I’m breaking the habit and standing tall.

Even if I am ugly crying.