scoliosis

latley my back has been hurting me more often.... granted i don't wear the brace very often because it isn't very effective (not a scoliosis brace - a foodlion sore back brace).

i did some research:

• Congenital scoliosis. Caused by a bone abnormality present at birth.
• Neuromuscular scoliosis. A result of abnormal muscles or nerves. Frequently seen in people with spina bifida or cerebral palsy or in those with various conditions that are accompanied by, or result in, paralysis.
• Degenerative scoliosis. This may result from traumatic  bone collapse from an injury or illness,previous major back surgery, orosteoporosis (thinning of the bones). (- My car accident? the Doctor thinks that is what may have caused it, but no Major bone damage was done i don't think....)
• Idiopathic scoliosis. The most common type of scoliosis, idiopathic scoliosis, has no specific identifiable cause. There are many theories, but none have been found to be conclusive. There is, however, strong evidence that idiopathic scoliosis is inherited.

but everything i find on scoliosis is for children.... i'm not a child and i'm done growing. Is there a chance mine will get worse? what can i do to stop the back pain?

ok.... found an option.... physical therapy and or water therapy

since ibeprofen doesn't really help. 

thoughts and reflections - while being betty crocker

• my back hurts.... *sigh* i need to do some research on scoliosis and see if there is anything that can be done about the back pain
• i have one cake cooling (rum cake) and in  5 more minutes i need to find a way to flip it upside down and put it back into the pan - without waking up mom  (its midnight)
• i have another cake baking (dragon cake) - which i then need to decorate
• a thought came into my mind.... what if we only ever have one great love in our lives? i often wonder if i am going to be romantically alone for the est of my life ever since accepting my asexual status - but what if... i only get one great and powerful passionate love? Writing. I know deep in my heart that what i love most is writing. If i had to choose between being a writer or finding the love of my life.... i'd write. 
• maybe before i was born i decided i didn't want anything to distract me from writing and my spiritual growth, so i made this body asexual? removing sex removes a primal uge that would serve as a distraction.
• granted i still crave romantic love..... but i'm realizing just how much i love writing. 
• weird thoughts but thoughts none the less.....

time to flip some cake. cake flip successful.

• i have the current  love of my life - smokey. there really isn't anyone other than my family that i can say i love more than him. when he passes i will be crushed.
• however that (hopefully) won't be for another 8-10 years - smokey is 7-8 and i wi;; try not to worry about it until then/
• notice i called him my current love of my life. Everything changes - that is a universal truth. even love. When he passes, i will have a new primary love, although i have no clue whom it may be.
• for now i have my cat and my writing - my two loves  - current and lasting love.

The bitch stays home

Cara ruins dinner once again. Every time I  decide to treat my mom to dinner (and her since she is with us) she always ruins it with attitude and rudeness. 

Next time the bitch stays home and I'll get her fucking McDonald's. 

final grades

primate behavior - 196 = B-
bunger's class - A
spanish - HE STILL HASN'T PUT UP MY FINAL EXAM GRADE AHHHHRDJFSOADSG
English - A
comm - 349.5/480 = 72.8 = C-

Today is going to suck

I literally do not get a break between 9:30 AM and 9:30 PM. I have to go to campus, take my first exam, go immediately to study group, take my second exam, go immediately to work. 

No breaks.

And I fucking closed the store last night - I'm so tired :(

Alice Carter Chronicles

i have another writing idea.... a series. a crime series but this time from the good guy's pov... crime solving.

here is my premise for book 1:

Alice carter is a fresh out of college, nursing a degree in cultural anthropology. Despite focusing in culture  she has always been drawn to criminals and their way of thinking. However after being rejected by the FBI academy she  gives up hope - until she discovers an internship with a private consultant who happens to aid the police, and even the FBI on occasion. It seems perfect - a paying part time internship with an established crime consultant. The only catch: she must compete with 10 other very capable people for the position. She must undergo several tests to prove herself worthy of being the consultant’s assistant. Without much hope, she sends in her application.

When a grizzly murder is found close to home she is surprised to receive a call summoning her to the crime scene. In a matter of minutes she is suddenly launched into a high stakes competition against more qualified people to earn the coveted assistant position. The ultimate test: solve the murder. Things become even more intense when  FBI profilers get involved bringing with them the two most dreaded words: serial killer.

and its playlist - wich i actuually find very helpful

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiwVJg_jOAAoPHqo7ku5u7nC4Xp7WDlxh

i plan to have her fall in love with a female FBI profiler

also comedic alice and wonderland references

-"earth to alice, come back from wonderland"

-"look at her grinning like the cheshire cat"

Endo cannibal killer

He targets women who resemble his grandmother (whom he almost worships) 

Which is why he sleeps (dressed in old fashioned suit like what his grandfather use to wear) with them and then kills them - a sense of ancestor worship.

Endocannibalism