Consider the following questions as you prepare a 1-2 page reflection paper:
1) What are the significant personal issues that arose for me during this supervision session? What specific areas of struggle or areas of growth am I more aware of now?
For me personally, the supervision session triggered an anxiety attack (via frantic hyperctivity) as I do not like to be the center of attention for more than a few minutes at a time. Usually I can mask and hide an anxiety attack when in situations that call for being professonal, but talking with my cohorts is more of a supportive safe atmosphere so I allowed myself to be honest with how I felt. Through the conversation I found that my fear of judgment and fear of dissapointing others was heavily influencing how I functioned with my client. I also learned that what "professional" looks different to each person, and should I ever need, I can invite my client to ground with me. The idea with starting a session with stretches or movement as a way to shake off the word day that preceeded the appointment really appeals to me. I found that I focus more on the heart center, the spirit and mind, and tend to neglect the body when I am working with people, until the very end of our session. Body movement is something that really helps me, especially when I find myself stressed, so turning that into a calming experience for myself and the person I am with, without turning the focus of the session away from my client could be a game changer for me.
2) What did I learn about myself as a spiritual director? What strengths do I offer? What are my limitations?
My strengths are my ability to make space and adapt to my client, approaching the situation from a place of exploration as opposed to frustration. I have a lot of love for the people I work with and it brings me genuine joy to see them connect with the Divine - wether that just be feeling impassioned and alive or connecting with a sense of deity. My limitations would be the pattern of placing a "pass/fail" on myself dependant on the experience that my directee has. If they are unable to experience a sense of the sacred, in any form, then I feel as if I had failed them. I have to remind myself that I cannot foster a relationship with the Divine for them - it is a personal journey - I am just here to help provide a time and place for them to do so.
3) What are the “hot button” topics that cause me to move away from the directee’s experience? How might I address these areas in order to move toward spiritual freedom?
I currently have not found any "hot button" topics that I am not willing to explore with someone. I find all topics to be sacred, even "taboo" ones like sex, death, drug use and history (as that can have great impact in how someone interacts and percievs the world), or history of abuse. We are all spiritual beings having a human experience; that human experience, in all of is fascets, is sacred. I welcome all topics, although I try to be mindful of any topic that the directee has stated they want to avoid.
4) What did I learn about relationships? With myself? With Others? With God?
I feel like I touched on this before; because I care so much about the people I meet with, I put an intense level of pressure on myself to help cultivate the best experience I can. The thought of having someone say they gained nothing from a session creates an intense anxiety and feeling of failure... however that is not fair to put on myself. How someone feels after a session is not something I can control and I have to be compassionate with myself and accept that its okay if something didn't click for them. Through the conversation in supervision, I had it highlighted once again that I struggle with self compassion. My ability to relate to others is why I am good at this work; I believe that the ability to form relationships in itself is a sacred gift. It is what makes anything "spiritual".
I do not often find myself connecting with the gods when I am talking directly to a person or creating a space for them to flourish. Spirit, as an underlying element of nature and life itself, may become particularly strong or close, but the gods are not so actively involved unless called on. It has not happened in a formal session yet, but I have had the presence of ancestors and passed loved ones come through while having a particularly spiritual focused conversation with someone. I have been asked in the past to help connect someone to an enlightned teacher's spirit as well. However, in the context of spiritual diretion I do not feel a sense of deity is involved - at least on my side. For the directee, I hope they do if that is something they seek.
5) What skills and attitudes do I need to attend to? In the area of listening? In the area of
mind-body-spirit connections? In the area of intercultural interactions?
I feel like I answered this one in #2. When it comes to intercultural interactions, I have not yet been tested. Most of the clients that I work with are agnostic, spiritual but not religious, or athesitic. These are all areas I am comfortable with, although athesism is a bit harder for me. I adapt by focusing on relationship with the self; while that may not be spiritual to them, it is to me, and thus allows a shift where Spirit can become more evident. I have not had a Christian client yet, although that will not always be the case. I like to believe that I won't have any issues taking Christian clients one-on-one but with my religious trauma I am not sure. That remains to be seen. Overall I find that every culture, every religion, and every perspective does hold wisdom and a sense of truth for that person and that is all that I need to know. This is about them - not me. The only thing that I feel would cause me to not be able to serve someone is if I found that they were harmful in any way (racist, homophobic, Trump supporter, etc). I am aware that while my love is unconditional, my compassion and ability to serve is not.
6) What did I learn about God and God’s presence? For myself? For my directee? In the
world?
I feel like this one got answered in #4.
5) What will I focus on in order to continue my own personal growth and my abilities to serve others well in spiritual direction.
I will try to remove myself from the focus at all. Sessions are not about me - they are about my client. If they do not connect with something we are doing, I will move on to something else. My role is to be prepared, have promping questions and practices to explore, and to hold space for them. Everything else is out of my control and I need to learn how to embrace that, for the sake of the directee and myself. Once circumstances change and I am able to take more time before and between sesisons, including proper somatic exercises/breaks, and time to gorund myself will make a huge difference.