Fall 2025 Textbooks

 shit shit shit next semester starts in 9 days.

Ritual Class textbooks: waiting on 2 of them.

• Davis-Floyd, Robbie and Charles D. Laughlin. Ritual: What It Is, How It Works, And Why. New York, 2022. ISBN 978-1-80073-9    ($33.20)
• bought: booksrun.com ($35)
• online until it arrives: https://www-jstor-org.theoref.idm.oclc.org/stable/jj.5501106
• arrived
• Grimes, Ronald. Deeply Into The Bone: Re-inventing Rites of Passage. Berkeley, 2000. ISBN 978-0-520-23675-2    ($24.67)
• Abebooks: $11.77
• online: https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.theoref.idm.oclc.org/lib/dtl/reader.action?docID=223327&c=UERG&ppg=1
• Orr, Emma Restall. Ritual: A Guide to Life, Love and Inspiration. London. 2000. ISBN 0-7225-3970-3   ($25.73)
• biblio.com: $31 because expedited shipping
• arrived
• Quin, Halo. Storytelling for Magic: Bardic Skills and Ritual-Craft For Witches and Pagans.Washington, DC 2025.  ISBN 978-1-80341-406-5    ($10.95)
• Abe books $15
• online: https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.theoref.idm.oclc.org/lib/dtl/reader.action?docID=31823783&c=RVBVQg
• Ter Kuile, Caspar. The Power of Ritual: Turning Everyday Activities into Soulful Practices. New York, 2020. ISBN 978-0-06-288182-3   ($13.59)
• booksrun.com: $6
• online: https://libguides-thedtl-org.theoref.idm.oclc.org/c.php?g=1096315
• arrived

Discernment class: have all. 

• Valerie Brown, Coming to Light: Cultivating Spiritual Discernment through the Quaker Clearness Committee, (Pendle Hill Publications, 2027) ISBN-13: 978-0875744469. [$7.00]
• abebooks: $7
• online: https://libguides-thedtl-org.theoref.idm.oclc.org/c.php?g=1411241
• arrived
• Rose Mary Dougherty, Discernment: A Path to Spiritual Awakening (Paulist Press, 2009) ISBN-13: 978-0809145545 [$10.95}]
• abebooks: $6
• online: https://libguides-thedtl-org.theoref.idm.oclc.org/c.php?g=1139133
• arrived - will be goood for paper referencing. 
• Thich Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness (Rider, 2008) ISBN-13: 978-1846041068 ($16.77)
• I don't think I want to own this one... 
• online:https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.theoref.idm.oclc.org/lib/dtl/detail.action?docID=5337607
• PDF online : https://truthbrary.mpaq.org/BOOKS/Spirituality%2C%20Meditation%2C%20Self-finding%20%28Books%29/Zen%20Buddhism%20-%20Thich%20Nhat%20Hanh/The_Miracle_of_Mindfulness__An_Introductio_-_Thich_Nhat_Hanh.pdf
• Barbara A. Holmes, Crisis Contemplation: Healing the Wounded Village (CAC Publishing, 2021) ISBN-13: 978-1623050559 [$19.95]
• unavailable everywhere.... so school it is.
• online: https://libguides-thedtl-org.theoref.idm.oclc.org/c.php?g=1199188
• Elizabeth Liebert, The Soul of Discernment: A Spiritual Practice for Communities and Institutions (Westminster John Knox Press, 2015) ISBN-13: 978-0664239676 [$15.39]
• don't think i want to own it. 
• online: https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.theoref.idm.oclc.org/lib/dtl/detail.action?docID=4421544
• Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants (Milkweed Editions, 2015) ISBN 13: 978-1571313560 ($17.88)
• FUCK YEAH I HAVE WANTED TO READ THIS SO BAD
• abebooks: $15
• online: https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.theoref.idm.oclc.org/lib/dtl/detail.action?docID=1212658
• arrived
• Mark E. Thibodeaux, SJ, Armchair Mystic: How Contemplative Prayer Can Lead You Closer to God (Franciscan Media, 2019) ISBN-13: 978-1632532886 [$18.99]
• this book is over $50 everywhere... 
• online: https://ebookcentral-proquest-com.theoref.idm.oclc.org/lib/dtl/reader.action?docID=5917614&ppg=1&c=UERG

Abebooks: $70.60

booksrun: $42.61

thriftbooks: 0 

biblio: $32.71

Wedding....notes.

 I did this with Viking Man so its only fair that I do it with Fly Boy. 

Me (celtic & native)

• Handfasting ceremony at the engagement party - allowing for a trial marriage for a year and a day. 
• Blue dress (irish) 
• Wedding bells (irish)  - instead of bouquets, I want my brides maids to carry and ring wedding bells 
• (native) blue and white blanket gets wrapped around us (especially if its cold) or at east drapped over our chairs for the 
• Cooked Goose for rehersal dinner/dinner (no take backsies) (irish)
• pebble toss: Guests participate by tossing small stones into a body of water, sending their wishes and blessings to the couple. The ripples created by the stones symbolize the spreading of these good wishes. (Celtic)
• There should be a fire involved (native) could be torches, mini fires for heat if in the winter time, etc. 

He's actually of Czech & Prussian decent! 

• Invitation sent by a designated person (prussian) - usually done in rhyming verses. We can do our wedding invites and save the dates in rhymes! 
• breaking ceramic plates (both) - At the start of the reception, a plate is broken at the couple's feet, and they must sweep up the pieces together, symbolizing their cooperation in marriage. 
• Soup (Czech) - The bride and groom eat soup from a single bowl and a single spoon; This signifies their need to work together and share equally. 
• Kidnapping the bride (Czech) - usually done as a means to symbolize the husbands duty to protect the bride. ... A scavenger hunt!! This could be how I give him the notebook?
• Rosemary Wreath (Czech) given to the bride which symbolizes love, loyalty, and wisdom

Meal ideas.. 

appetizers: Cup of soup (we each pick one type - serviced in a teacup that each guest can take home as a favor?) 

- Goose with a blueberry or cranberry sauce; brusslesprout, greenbeans/casserole, mashed potatoes?

- Some sort of frutey and heart salad for vegetarian options

- Desserts: carrot cake and banana foster/pudding/etc  OR cupcakes/mini cakes - 50 of each

• Orange rose for carrot cake with cream cheese
• Dahlia for chocolate cake with rasberry filling
• blue hydrangea or Iris for lemon cake with blueberry filling 
• https://www.batchbakehouse.com/

Wedding dresses (narrowed down):

• https://www.amazon.com/Acenia-Champagne-Dresses-Shoulder-Cocktail/dp/B0FWC7VLP4/ref=sr_1_11?crid=OHF376GP1PIG&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.JJz9Wz6H_lMo3TJAgq18C83acRz_ZsspRXC0BfEurm4YprJyoIMNjSnJfODKCM_mZfE0xbsPSC8rMgaR1QB8lsT3a6f2FAzVYmOBXy83n_7D1plw4AQZ4-wh9R6HCXsZX3Cq06pjY8HDshXUAuNNWypL3Imuf8G-VCHb9y8GtduitufrATSWpMwjPsT20wefZaCTvKGsAwVhg6-c5eBRZRUa5c_yU6CdXEKVRGaz9b6L7QhczBnoKrVsXDXalp-NvWVC9XjW2xKqxVbkpGf4g6wFz8ci8L78dg5HkwcQBV0.6agg4fTj6UGZFTj9e_bBQ9G3tZ4yHEiJ505hGPz9i6M&dib_tag=se&keywords=champagne%2Bbrides%2Bmaid%2Bdresses&qid=1765910127&sprefix=champagne%2Bbridesmaid%2Bdresse%2Caps%2C244&sr=8-11&th=1&psc=1
• https://viniodresses.com/products/mermaid-lace-wedding-dresses-bridal-dress-with-long-sleeve-vw1544?pr_prod_strat=e5_desc&pr_rec_id=fec56426f&pr_rec_pid=4492808519757&pr_ref_pid=3681291436109&pr_seq=uniform
• https://zapaka.com/products/dusty-blue-a-line-strapless-sheer-corset-beaded-long-prom-dress-with-slit?currency=USD&variant=51945927180651&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&stkn=00ecca6a5505
• Veil/Cape: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1716798866/bridal-cape-with-fairy-blue-lace-floral?ls=s&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=removable+sleeves+blue&ref=sr_gallery-1-4&sr_prefetch=0&pf_from=market&pro=1&frs=1&sts=1&content_source=885e2760-9304-49f7-b582-a40a715f0349%253ALT4429df03a9311156f0ab42d0ea7c1a9f43faf0c6&organic_search_click=1&logging_key=885e2760-9304-49f7-b582-a40a715f0349%3ALT4429df03a9311156f0ab42d0ea7c1a9f43faf0c6&variation1=4622735079
•  wrap if cold: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1863786799/blue-faux-fur-wrap-silver-faux-fur-stole?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_en_us_-weddings&utm_custom1=_k_Cj0KCQiAo4TKBhDRARIsAGW29bcJCJ-barQpMKnfMQaAOYnOU-emosmC7rLYJgIKcC8c-A-hr4P9-q8aAmnMEALw_wcB_k_&utm_content=go_21791666541_169566863758_716586689178_pla-298195655715_c__1863786799_112396461&utm_custom2=21791666541&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21791666541&gbraid=0AAAAADtcfRKpiCz5RjEn5tz4WSn50Bz50&gclid=Cj0KCQiAo4TKBhDRARIsAGW29bcJCJ-barQpMKnfMQaAOYnOU-emosmC7rLYJgIKcC8c-A-hr4P9-q8aAmnMEALw_wcB

Venu options: Nature is the name of the game

•  https://cariboubayretreat.com/weddings-introduction/
•  https://cariboubay.b-cdn.net/CBPricing-Brochure.pdf
• https://www.thewildwoodbarn.com/
• https://wedgescreek.com/
• https://wedgescreekhideaway.b-cdn.net/PricingBrochure.pdf
• https://burlapandbells.com/weddings
• https://static.showit.co/file/gR8MDP5okZq_2EeThlImmQ/140928/2025-6_informational.pdf
• https://www.wwretreat.com/retreats-gatherings/

Brides Maids:

• https://www.etsy.com/listing/1638530036/mini-bouquets-for-vases-orange-ivory?gpla=1&gao=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_en_us_-weddings&utm_custom1=_k_Cj0KCQiAo4TKBhDRARIsAGW29bfZ1Xvv6JVnw2kYU2p4fmSgYsXxqJWzP3Zb6fJlu8wvlJrzogqs3dEaAvGLEALw_wcB_k_&utm_content=go_21791667543_169566885998_716586690714_pla-298195655715_c__1638530036_123245886&utm_custom2=21791667543&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21791667543&gbraid=0AAAAADtcfRIhxhciI-tomtJaSrJCAe26e&gclid=Cj0KCQiAo4TKBhDRARIsAGW29bfZ1Xvv6JVnw2kYU2p4fmSgYsXxqJWzP3Zb6fJlu8wvlJrzogqs3dEaAvGLEALw_wcB&variation0=4183438594
• https://www.amazon.com/Wedtrend-Chiffon-Bridesmaid-Cocktail-WT0201ChampagneS/dp/B07W8ZNY95/ref=sr_1_8?crid=OHF376GP1PIG&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.JJz9Wz6H_lMo3TJAgq18C83acRz_ZsspRXC0BfEurm4YprJyoIMNjSnJfODKCM_mZfE0xbsPSC8rMgaR1QB8lsT3a6f2FAzVYmOBXy83n_7D1plw4AQZ4-wh9R6HCXsZX3Cq06pjY8HDshXUAuNNWypL3Imuf8G-VCHb9y8GtduitufrATSWpMwjPsT20wefZaCTvKGsAwVhg6-c5eBRZRUa5c_yU6CdXEKVRGaz9b6L7QhczBnoKrVsXDXalp-NvWVC9XjW2xKqxVbkpGf4g6wFz8ci8L78dg5HkwcQBV0.6agg4fTj6UGZFTj9e_bBQ9G3tZ4yHEiJ505hGPz9i6M&dib_tag=se&keywords=champagne%2Bbrides%2Bmaid%2Bdresses&qid=1765910127&sprefix=champagne%2Bbridesmaid%2Bdresse%2Caps%2C244&sr=8-8&th=1&psc=1

I may or May not have done some digging around on Ai and made my dream wedding dresses... 

https://tinyurl.com/2pfceh6b

Official.

 Well. In a strange turn of events, and me being very much in denial and oblivious to my own feelings, and after HOURS of conversation over the past week... 

Fly Boy and I are officially an item.

it does't seem real. We aren't telling people because its so new and we want to nuture it protectivley before we invite in the opinions of others. 

But.. lets just say the love story Brigid told me is playing out... in an almost uncanny way and I never believed the hint that I was seeing. 

so... yeah. I think I found my fucking person. Its so fresh and new (even though I've known him for 7 months now) that we are opperating on a "no next steps" mentality  - there is no next step. We can stay as still as we want or progress when we feel its natural, not becuase it just makes sense. 

I have a boyfriend y'all. 

No next steps - poem in progress

 No next step 

It’s too soon to tell

If the alarm bells

Going off in my mind are cause for concern

Or the promise of land after what feels like years at sea 

Are you the hand that pulls me from the waves

Or just another buoy the gods of thrown

To keep my head above water?

It’s too soon to tell

You snuck up on me,

Like a scared animal that would bolt in an instant.

It’s true, and I did, but you didn’t follow…

Only offering me tidbits of love to lure me back.

I was hesitant. I was distant.

But your ease of being was too comforting to run away from completely.

Slowly, I crept back, suddenly craving your touch

Surprising even myself.

I am still weary, fearful of a cage

Yet you wrap me in a warm blanket instead

With the promise of “ no next steps”

No pressure. No expectations.

Now I want to give you all all of them.

Every step, together.

But it’s too soon to tell.

Reflections for the full moon

 Well a few points to reflect on over the next few days for the full moon... 

1) I'm going to pause my love manifestation spell. I'm going to trash the letters already written and I will hold off on anymore to my future spouse until I meet them. Then I will write to them so that I have a gift to give on the wedding night. 

2) I need to reflect over the blessings I have and the abundance that comes to me - not just monetarily. I have a lot to be grateful for and I need to focus more on healing the parts of me that feels unworthy or distrusting of unconditional love and gifts. ( "Fly Boy" is helping with this a little. We had a very genuine talk about it last night)

3) I need to reflect over past relationships that have failed - both romantic and friendship. What were the common issues that I presented? What were the common red flags that I attracted in others? Why? What can I work on to prevent patterns from repeating? What were the good that came from those relationships as well? What did I learn?

4) What do I really want to do spiritually? I talk about wanting to improve and grow in my spirituality... but what goals do I actually have? What is my "why"? What do I actually want in life?

I also want to reflect on what I actually want my life to look like. Genuinely. What do I want my career to look like? What do I want my personal life to look like? How often do I want to travel? What sort of home do I want? What are the must haves in a partner and what would be a bonus? - As time goes on I am learning what my priorities are. 

In this ^ I am more or less kind of clueless. I've just been living day to day for so long that while I have VERY long term goals and some minor ideas I really do need to sit down and meditate and think about it. The full moon is on the 9th. I want to do something for it along this context. 

Maybe I'll write a letter to myself. A young self. A past self. A Future self. 

I've got some digging and soul searching to do. 

Change of Plans

 Well. Things with my current roommate have become intense and unpleasant. It is a bit too confusing for me to really explain because I honestly do not know what their issues really are; but for the most part it boils down to their inability to communicate, their unexpressed expectations not being met, and the fact they are generally miserable in their life as it is and I am pretty much the only outlet they have to take it out on. 

Which I will not stand for. 

They have effectivley ended our friendship - now the goal is to simply find a way to coexist until this lease ends. After that, regardless if they are able to pay off their past debt to a landlord (which is why we kept getting denied housing when we applied together) or not, I will not be renewing the lease with them. My friend "Sweetboy" will take their place at the end of the lease. 

If something were to change and my current roommate would need to vacate before the lease ends and I have to find a new one earlier, then I would and it would be up in the air about "Sweetboy". Wether he moves in with me or not, he does plan to move to madison next year, so there is no hard feelings if things don't work out that way. 

OR

If I need to get a place of my own... 

a 1 bedroom at my current complex would probably be about $1600...... FUCK. I really want to stay where I am so I will budget with that in mind... but I would most likely have to find somethign cheaper. 

Rent: 1650 + 35 water = 1685

Electric Utilities: 120 (based on past 1 bed cost. I can tolerate the heat if i live alone) 

internet: 35

car payment: 235 (To be finished by Dec 26? Maybe) 

car insurance: 90

per loan: $450 (To be finished by March 2026!) 

Roth IRA: $100

Savings: $100

Phone: $45

subscriptions: 45

Joint: 70

CC (for Gym): $100

CC (sams): $30

Gyrm: 26

-----------------------------

3131

Average paycheck: $3500

That leaves $200 ish for groceries and $200ish for fun each month. Would of course get as much as low as possible for wiggle room. 

Okay. so. I actually could afford to stay where I am if the rent was $1650 or less. 

That make sme feel better.