Today would have made 2 years.
I can’t figure out if I miss the relationship or if I miss jimmie.
In hind sight he really did take me for granted... we fought all the time.
As happy as I was the relationship was just as bipolar as I am... constant ups and downs.
That’s not healthy....
But I was happy.
But I’ve got something new and I can see the growth and potential... I have got to let go of the past.
This new relationship is slow and peaceful...
Something totally strange.
I have to be willing to let it grow and stop joking into the branches of a dead tree.
It had its chance.
We had our chance.
It would have been 2 years..
Wednesday, November 13, 2019
Monday, November 11, 2019
Crying.
I knew this would happen.
Everything was going to happen in November.
I would be allowed to do future readings again - finally.
What would have been our two year anniversary.
The 6 month marker of our break up.
This was when I was going to approach Jimmie about getting back together.
I also suspected that this was when (if he ever) he would come to realize he made a mistake.
I wasn’t wrong.
But now I am with someone else... and as much as I have been having premonitions about what Jimmie said to me tonight, and how much I have wanted him to say those words...
I’m happy with Viking Boy.
I am with someone that I can be childlike with and carefree. I havnt been with someone that I can be this silly and playful with since...Jake.
VB has so much potential.. I’m not going to throw that away. I can’t, I feel that I both have to and want to see where it goes.
But I also feel like my heart is breaking all over again.
I want to scream.
And run.
And numb my brain out.
I’m crying.
I just have to wait until I’m in my car to let the tears fall.
Everything was going to happen in November.
I would be allowed to do future readings again - finally.
What would have been our two year anniversary.
The 6 month marker of our break up.
This was when I was going to approach Jimmie about getting back together.
I also suspected that this was when (if he ever) he would come to realize he made a mistake.
I wasn’t wrong.
But now I am with someone else... and as much as I have been having premonitions about what Jimmie said to me tonight, and how much I have wanted him to say those words...
I’m happy with Viking Boy.
I am with someone that I can be childlike with and carefree. I havnt been with someone that I can be this silly and playful with since...Jake.
VB has so much potential.. I’m not going to throw that away. I can’t, I feel that I both have to and want to see where it goes.
But I also feel like my heart is breaking all over again.
I want to scream.
And run.
And numb my brain out.
I’m crying.
I just have to wait until I’m in my car to let the tears fall.
Thursday, November 7, 2019
Transparency: nevermind
You know what? After typing that up last night I felt better.
I don’t think its actually necessary to have that talk with him... I really am happy with him and everything I said in the blogpost was true. I do think I’m starting the “falling” process. I’m not in love with him yet, but I can easily say that I adore biking boy.
What I had with Jimmie took years of repressed feelings and intense healing to occur. I can’t expect that level of intensity with Viking boy, I’m not worried about it. I’m happy and carefree. There is real potential there, I think.
No need to bring up the past unless it’s going to have a real affect on the current relationship. No need to stir up any uncomfortable and unnecessary feelings when there is no threat.
It’s odd.
I had a dream last night that I cheated on VB with Jimmie and then after reflecting on it, I realized how attached to him I am. How happy I get when I talk about him.
I’m excited to get to know more about him.
I’m excited to see how things go with him.
He’s very much in the present moment and I like how when I’m with him, so am I.
Do I still think of Jimmie when I hear most live songs? ... yes.
Do I think that will fade? Eventually, with more time.
Which is why I say Nevermind to my previous post. Unless I still feel the same way farther down the road, I don’t see why VB needs to know how far I was planning on going with Jimmie.
New cycle of life.
I need to embrace it.
I don’t think its actually necessary to have that talk with him... I really am happy with him and everything I said in the blogpost was true. I do think I’m starting the “falling” process. I’m not in love with him yet, but I can easily say that I adore biking boy.
What I had with Jimmie took years of repressed feelings and intense healing to occur. I can’t expect that level of intensity with Viking boy, I’m not worried about it. I’m happy and carefree. There is real potential there, I think.
No need to bring up the past unless it’s going to have a real affect on the current relationship. No need to stir up any uncomfortable and unnecessary feelings when there is no threat.
It’s odd.
I had a dream last night that I cheated on VB with Jimmie and then after reflecting on it, I realized how attached to him I am. How happy I get when I talk about him.
I’m excited to get to know more about him.
I’m excited to see how things go with him.
He’s very much in the present moment and I like how when I’m with him, so am I.
Do I still think of Jimmie when I hear most live songs? ... yes.
Do I think that will fade? Eventually, with more time.
Which is why I say Nevermind to my previous post. Unless I still feel the same way farther down the road, I don’t see why VB needs to know how far I was planning on going with Jimmie.
New cycle of life.
I need to embrace it.
Wednesday, November 6, 2019
transparency: practice
This is to mostly get my thoughts in order for when I talk to Viking Boy.... I'm probably going to over think and be extra wordy here and then panic when i go to talk to him and give a super short version but alas... at least with this i will have a kind of outline in my head.
"Hey so... I think youre amazing. You make me feel safe and happy. Like I said the other night, I can be relaxed and carefree with you. When i'm with you I can just be me....well, there has been one thing thats been weighing on me. Communication is really important to me and I don't want anything hidden between us.... so I feel like I need to talk to you about my relationship with Jimmie.
So... I'm a all or nothing type of person. I hate to say 'ride-or-die' but I really am. I was so serious about Jimmie that I was saving up to buy him an engagement ring, I was that dedicated to him and our relationship. I was certain that I was going to marry him... which is why its been such a struggle for me to get over him. I am actively trying to get over him and i'm not hanging out with him anymore. When I get into a relationship with someone i'm serious about them... and that transfers over to you.
I want you to know that while i am with you, I am all about you and only you. You make me happy and I am excited to see where things go with you. I don't want you to feel threatened by him or by the fact that I am keeping him in my life, especially because it is at arms length. But I felt you had a right to know how significant a role he played in my life. I know that my feelings for you are growing and are only going to continue to grow, i'm not worried about Jimmie and I don't want you to either, I just wanted to have total transparency."
Saturday, November 2, 2019
Assignment 3 Notes
OKAY so assignment 3 is the biggest one for my stats class and its due Fri the 22.)
I will need a population size.
(1)Choose any city in the South. Go to a multiple listing service of your choice on the internet (ie you could use Zillow.com, Trulia, or any other MLS site).
- Randomly sample 30 houses from the total population of all single family houses on the market in that city. The variable of interest on which you are collecting information is the listing price(or you may use selling price) of the house. Be sure that you include a table using the format you used in Assignment 2 reporting the data you collected.
(2)conduct a hypothesis test about the mean value of the listing price of Single family homes in that location. The test you are conducting is trying to prove if the mean listing price of houses in the city you chose is significantly different from $326,600[average home price for houses in the South 3rd quarter, 2019 (FRED,.2019)]. Conduct the test at the .05 level of significance.
(3)Write a report of this process and your results and implications.
Points to Consider when Writing a Statistical Case
There are generally 4 main sections when writing a statistical case. (see below) Please include just the names of these subheadings in your paper (without the letters a, b, c, and d.)
1. Introduction: This section must include a statement(s) regarding the main
objective of the case. It also includes any other background information (especially about the city that you sampled) that is relevant concerning why this case is being undertaken and how this analysis might prove useful. By this I mean demographic or other relevant information on the city you chose that would pertain to the real estate market you chose. This discussion should be thorough in its description of the real estate market chosen, as well as all relevant related variables, such as per capital income, age of residents, size of population, etc. Your objective statement for the assignment is what you're trying to prove via the hypothesis test about the price.
2. Sampling Procedure: This section includes a discussion of the random number generator used in the sampling process, specifically a detailed discussion of how the numbers were generated and then used to sample the data from the population. In this discussion, you must include the date when you sampled the data, the population size, as well as the web source of the data used. ***Be sure that you appropriately cite all websites or other references used and include a reference page at the end of the case. Failure to do so is plagiarism and will result in a major deduction of points. You will include a table in this section showing the properties sampled and their selling prices. Be sure that the table is numbered and has a title and follows the format given in a sample table attached to this assignment. The table goes after the text, but before the references.
3.. Empirical Analysis: This section will include the hypothesis test used to
analyze the data. Be sure that you follow a 5 step hypothesis testing procedure. You must state Ho, Ha, etc. Be sure to state all assumptions behind the test conducted.
4. Conclusion: Based on the results of your hypothesis test, you must then apply these results to appropriately analyze the situation presented. What do the conclusions of your test tell you practically? How might you use this information in the real estate market or in making personal decisions? Are there any data limitations?
Include References for any in- text citations below the text.
You need a cover sheet.
I will need a population size.
(1)Choose any city in the South. Go to a multiple listing service of your choice on the internet (ie you could use Zillow.com, Trulia, or any other MLS site).
- Randomly sample 30 houses from the total population of all single family houses on the market in that city. The variable of interest on which you are collecting information is the listing price(or you may use selling price) of the house. Be sure that you include a table using the format you used in Assignment 2 reporting the data you collected.
(2)conduct a hypothesis test about the mean value of the listing price of Single family homes in that location. The test you are conducting is trying to prove if the mean listing price of houses in the city you chose is significantly different from $326,600[average home price for houses in the South 3rd quarter, 2019 (FRED,.2019)]. Conduct the test at the .05 level of significance.
(3)Write a report of this process and your results and implications.
Points to Consider when Writing a Statistical Case
There are generally 4 main sections when writing a statistical case. (see below) Please include just the names of these subheadings in your paper (without the letters a, b, c, and d.)
1. Introduction: This section must include a statement(s) regarding the main
objective of the case. It also includes any other background information (especially about the city that you sampled) that is relevant concerning why this case is being undertaken and how this analysis might prove useful. By this I mean demographic or other relevant information on the city you chose that would pertain to the real estate market you chose. This discussion should be thorough in its description of the real estate market chosen, as well as all relevant related variables, such as per capital income, age of residents, size of population, etc. Your objective statement for the assignment is what you're trying to prove via the hypothesis test about the price.
2. Sampling Procedure: This section includes a discussion of the random number generator used in the sampling process, specifically a detailed discussion of how the numbers were generated and then used to sample the data from the population. In this discussion, you must include the date when you sampled the data, the population size, as well as the web source of the data used. ***Be sure that you appropriately cite all websites or other references used and include a reference page at the end of the case. Failure to do so is plagiarism and will result in a major deduction of points. You will include a table in this section showing the properties sampled and their selling prices. Be sure that the table is numbered and has a title and follows the format given in a sample table attached to this assignment. The table goes after the text, but before the references.
3.. Empirical Analysis: This section will include the hypothesis test used to
analyze the data. Be sure that you follow a 5 step hypothesis testing procedure. You must state Ho, Ha, etc. Be sure to state all assumptions behind the test conducted.
4. Conclusion: Based on the results of your hypothesis test, you must then apply these results to appropriately analyze the situation presented. What do the conclusions of your test tell you practically? How might you use this information in the real estate market or in making personal decisions? Are there any data limitations?
Include References for any in- text citations below the text.
You need a cover sheet.
new cycles
I am officially starting a new cycle in my life.
I quit my, now toxic, job.
I start my new one Monday and I am optimistic.
I am still in the middle of the school semester, but my period of disillusionment has ended.
I now have a direction I want to go in. (I'm going to get my Certificate in Hospitality and be an event coordinator)
I'm with a new romantic partner,
there is real potential there, although I am progressing far slower than I ever have before - which is probably a good thing. Its refreshing not to lose my head.
Even my body seems aware...
My moon cycle has been insanely heavy this time. It started with expelling the worst first - I was bleeding black. And now my body seems to be resetting itself 100%...
This will be a uterus lining that never experienced him.
A total reset.
a new start to a new cycle of my life.
I quit my, now toxic, job.
I start my new one Monday and I am optimistic.
I am still in the middle of the school semester, but my period of disillusionment has ended.
I now have a direction I want to go in. (I'm going to get my Certificate in Hospitality and be an event coordinator)
I'm with a new romantic partner,
there is real potential there, although I am progressing far slower than I ever have before - which is probably a good thing. Its refreshing not to lose my head.
Even my body seems aware...
My moon cycle has been insanely heavy this time. It started with expelling the worst first - I was bleeding black. And now my body seems to be resetting itself 100%...
This will be a uterus lining that never experienced him.
A total reset.
a new start to a new cycle of my life.
quit.
I start my new job on monday.
I quit Bistro.
Mrs. Heather coaxed the truth out of me.
I couldn't stay after that...
I couldn't stay after she confronted him.
trying to tell myself its not my fault.
But she was so pained and horrified.
The only thing left is hoping Lexi can grab my stuff that I left at the bar (headbands, my jacket, some lipstick) and fills in the tip sheet that I forgot to do so I get paid for my last night.
Picking up my last paycheck.
Getting my W2's.
Then I will be 100% done with him.
I quit Bistro.
Mrs. Heather coaxed the truth out of me.
I couldn't stay after that...
I couldn't stay after she confronted him.
trying to tell myself its not my fault.
But she was so pained and horrified.
The only thing left is hoping Lexi can grab my stuff that I left at the bar (headbands, my jacket, some lipstick) and fills in the tip sheet that I forgot to do so I get paid for my last night.
Picking up my last paycheck.
Getting my W2's.
Then I will be 100% done with him.
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