Thursday, July 9, 2020

Brigid Guided Meditation

I have written myself a guided meditation and I feel that it's fair to publish it, as an example to anyone who may be interested in a custom meditation. As a Reminder, it's $35 for a written custom guided meditation and if you want me to lead you through it, either in person or through video/phone call it is $50 (this includes interpretation of the meditation's results). If you want a reading to further clarify anything, I will do it at a discounted rate. 

This is my guided meditation to meet and commune with the Goddess Brigid, Brigit, Brighid, or whatever variation of her name you choose. I recommend the guide reading over this  meditation at least once or twice before actually taking the seeker on it, to understand and be prepared for whatever may be seen and need to be recorded. 

For this meditation you will need: For the guide - a pen, paper, and copy of this meditation. For the seeker: A comfortable place to sit or lay and a candle or cauldron. If you choose a cauldron I recommend burning lavender as that is the herb she has chosen to represent herself in my work with her, but burn whatever you feel called to. 

Once you have situated yourself comfortably have your guide light the flame of the candle/light the herbs in the cauldron. If you are doing this yourself, light the flame and start:

I want you to stare into this flame, capture the image in your mind, and when you are ready - close your eyes. Take a deep breath in. Hold. Hold. Hold. Release. Hold. Hold. Hold. Inhale. As you repeat this, I want you to imagine that flame at the center of your body, located at your navel or if you prefer, have it sit at the sacral or root chakra point. Breath with me and watch the flame grow with every inhale. In. Hold. Hold. Hold. Release. Hold. Hold. Hold. As the flame grows, you feel your body begin to warm, and all tension melts away. Your legs relax. Tension leaves your lower back as the flames travel high and higher. As you breath out and hold you feel your shoulder loosen, all tension leaving your body and melting into the flame. 

Once the flame has reached your heart it takes on a color. What color do you see? (The person says color, and  writes it down. If you are taking yourself on this journey, try to remember that color.) From your core the fire jumps in front of you, Illuminating the room in which you sit. All around you, with light dancing on the walls, you see a simple earthen room, with no windows. Rising you take a small step forward and the fire jumps again, and again, landing by the only door, and then waits. You glance around the empty room once more before following the flame. Do you see anything in the room before you leave, or does it remain empty? (Record anything the sojourner says.)

Once you are ready, open the door. Before is a beautiful night sky; a full moon reflects off of a snow covered ground. It is cold all around you, yet you yourself are not cold. The fire jumps forward, snow melting to reveal a path with every leap that it takes. The earthen path is soft beneath your feet, cool to the touch, but along the sides flowers begin to grow. You have stepped into the time of Midwinter, the flame of Brigid promising the hope of spring and new life. You step forward and follow the flame. With each step you feel yourself relaxing and growing more comfortable. Looking around you notice a deep forest ahead, and the closer you get to it, the heavier your physical body becomes and the lighter your spirit becomes. Moving forward after the guiding flame, you approach the sacred forest, know you are safe and under the protection of the goddess. 

The world becomes almost pitch black as you cross the tree line, you rely only on your sense of smell and following the bounding flame. What do you smell? (record answer). As you walk deeper and deeper into this forest, is the flame taking you straight forward or are you taking any turns? (record).  Continuing on, you begin to see a light far ahead of you. It glows yellow and Orange and as you get closer you smell a thick metallic scent of molten metal. The guiding flame has disappeared, and the path is now visible to the forge. You walk forward, knowing that you are welcome and have no reason to be afraid. To the side of the path, just outside the walls of the forge you see a well. Once even with it, you see it is full of clear reflective water. Do you stop to look in it? If so, what do you see? (Record answer) When you are ready, say so, and we will enter the forge. 

Upon entering the forge you see a woman there, describe her; what is she doing? (let seeker describe what they see and try to write it down best you can). Once you have introduced yourself to her, if she has not already done so, she sits on the bench and beckons you to join her. I now invite you to speak with her. If you feel so inclined and want her message written down, I will record anything you say out loud. When you feel that you are done discussing, speak out loud "I have heard you, thank you" and I will guide you home. 

*wait until the seeker is ready to leave.*
You both rise to give parting words and the goddess stops you before you turn to leave the forge. Reaching into the fire she pulls out a parting token for you to carry back on our journey. What is it? (Record the answer). With a final goodbye, The Goddess blows into the fire of the forge and it rises high, turning a bright shade of...? (record the color).  The ____ colored Flame shoots a tendril before you, which jumps towards the door. Once again you are being guided by Brigid's protective flame on your journey. As soon as you cross the threshold back into the forest, all light behind you disappears and the Goddess is gone. You take a deep breath, and follow the leaping flame on the path back. 

The journey through the forest this time is not so dark. Unlike before, now the full moon's light is shining down through the trees. On your peaceful walk back to the shack from whence you started, do you sense anything in the trees around you? (record answer). The walk back seems to take less time than when you entered the forest, you reach the snow covered clearing and see the simple shack only a short distance ahead. As you walk to the shack, the dancing fire jumps within you, settling in your heart. This fills your body with rejuvenating energy. Once you reach the door to the shack, pause. Take a Deep Breath and hold it. Know that when you open the door, you will open your eyes and be well rested and relaxed. Exhale. Repeat this until you are ready to rejoin me and open the door. 

(Once the seeker has opened their eyes and regained full mobility in their body, extinguish the flame however you choose.)

-end- 

Interpretation Guide
**the first color of the flame represents the energy the seeker has coming into this meeting with the goddess. 
*** Beginning Room represents the present state of the seeker, if they see anything as they leave the room, it could represent what is currently influencing them.
** Smell could represent any influences, energies, or guides that are with them on their path. If they already smell the forge, then Brigid has already been trying to reach out to them.
***Path: straight path means their goal is easily attainable. Winding path means there will be obstacles to overcome and learn from. 
** water in the well represents Brigid's healing aspect. what the seeker sees, if they see anything, will reveal insight into how they may be receptive to healing. 
***How the seeker sees Brigid and What she is doing can have significant meaning. 
*** What does Brigid pull from the fire and gives the seeker represents at the core, what her message revolves around. 
** The ending flame color represents the energy the seeker is taking back with them. 
** Whatever they see/hear/smell/taste on the walk back through the forest are energies and beings that will be watching over/helping them move forward.


-------------------------------------------
Notes for How Brigid appears:

-If Brigid greets the seeker at the door, she is simply there to communicate and guide. If Brigid is in the middle of making a sword, then she is playing an active part or will be playing an active part in the seeker's life at present and near future. If Brigid is waiting inside patiently, then that means she wants the seeker to actively do something in their present life or immediate future. (Perhaps they need to "come to"/work with her, or leave her an offering? A card reading can answer that). If she is just in a dress, she will play a passive influence; if she is in armour then she will be an aggressive influence.-

Wednesday, July 8, 2020

Breed Research

Okay so he would prefer a blue heeler/red heeler - Australian cattle dog.
which is very active (not a problem given that we plan to give it lots of exercise through walks and the dog park.) However, it is a breed specifically not recommended for apartment living. 

but they can get destructive when left alone inside for hour on end... which makes me think 1) we are going to end up buying the furniture in the apartment and 2) maybe we need to make sure to get a mix; and have it mixed with something that is usually recommended for apartment living. 

Best Breeds for Apartments: (** are something to offer in an alternative to the blue heeler)

American Eskimo Dog* (although has same issue with being left alone...but also is meant for indoor living)
Australian Terrier
Basenji - not likely these things are exclusive and expensive 
Barbet *** - water dog!!

I then decided to search small/medium-large dogs that require regular or less exercise, and that don't bark a lot for possible mixes and options (with short, medium, long, smooth fur) and are easy to train: and let me tell you these are probably all dogs we could never find or afford but they are BEAUTIFUL
- Rafeiro do Alentejo - big doggo but actually very ideal. 
- Nederlandse Kooikerhondje - this might be the most beautiful dog I have ever seen. 
- Jagdterrier
- Eurasier (ideal... but bougie picky eaters)
- Bavarian Mountain Scent Hound
-Deutscher Wachtelhund
-Bohemian Shepherd ****** I LIKE THIS ONE A LOT

Spiders and Dragons

To see a spider in your dream indicates that you are feeling like an outsider in some situations. Or perhaps you want to keep your distance and stay away from an alluring and tempting situation.  Alternatively, a spider refers to a powerful force protecting you against  your self-destructive behavior. 

To see a spider spinning a web in your dream signifies that you will be rewarded for your hard work. You will be promoted in your job or recognized for your achievement in a difficult task. Spiders are also a symbol of creativity due to the intricate webs they spin. On a negative note, spiders may indicate a feeling of being entangled or trapped in a sticky or clingy relationship. It represents some ensnaring and controlling force. You feel that someone or some situation is sucking the life right out of you. Alternatively, if a spider is spinning a web in your dream, then it could be a metaphor for the world wide web and global communication.

To see a spider climbing up a wall in your dream denotes that your desires will be soon realized. 

To dream that a spider is coming down on you from the ceiling indicates that you are unable to escape from some relationship. If you dream of baby spiders, then they symbolize a new or recent relationship.

...

All of this. Especially the bold. 

I am feeling trapped and unhappy at my job, but honestly it's not the end of the world and I could be in far worse circumstances. I need to stop looking at other jobs for now, especially because at this one I can still do my school work.

Dragons: Gold Vs Red

To see a dragon in your dream represents your strong will and fiery personality. You tend to get carried away by your passion, which may lead you into trouble. You need to exercise some self-control. If you dream about the birth of a dragon, then it refers to your emerging passion and strong will. In particular, dreaming of a metal dragon signifies an unyielding character, a water dragon symbolizes quiet confidence, a wood dragon means an analytical and logical mind, a fire dragon refers to a competitive nature and leadership and an earth dragon signifies sociability.

...

This makes me think of my strong desire for constant mental stimulation and wanting to be in a different work environment... flash back to the spiders as someone stopping me, they are warning me about using self control before I fuck up. 


I Think Aaron is right... someone is interfering and they're leaving a calling card. 

... message received, but from who?

Tuesday, July 7, 2020

more

Well, I've applied. 

Can't hurt to apply and if I get an interview then i will make sure to write down all questions I have and go into it with an open mind, negotiating to either get paid equally or more than what I make at pip. I will make sure to put in my two weeks and explain that it is a money thing as far as PIP is concerned. I really like the work atmosphere here and the people too, but I need to be making more money to pay off all my bills and debt. 

List of questions to ask the employer IF I get an interview:

- What is the office atmosphere like? "Employee Focus" ?
 - Dress Code? Hair? 
- The questions I filled out to apply indicated that I could be traveling for this job and doing sales, which isn't an issue, but would there be training provided for that?
- How far in advance do I need to request time off from work? I have to go to the doctor semi-frequently and I have several weddings coming up this fall. (I try to make it a point not to miss work and will often show up to work early or work late to make up for any missed time).


Also, another job to check out:

Because why not?

comparisons

Job Comparisons

Where I am at now
- 24648 a year
- 39.5 hours a week, 
- no health insurance but additional benefits (I'm keeping just the eye and accident insurance)
- time off whenever I need it
- relaxed work atmosphere 
- can do schoolwork while at work
- 40 hours a week?
- paid time off
- Health insurance offered through the job (comes out of paycheck rather than having to remember to pay it) --> potentially offers dental and eye?
-"employee focus" - generally that means they seek to make employees as comfortable and happy as possible so that the employees make the clients as happy as possible. thats a good things. 

Ive sent them an email.... an "informal inquiry" but I might just go ahead and send in an application. I can ask all my questions at the interview if they decide to interview me. 

Making a switch?

I'm really not sure what all I am supposed to be doing in order to look busy as I sit and literally wait for the phone to ring. 

I have called people to pick up their stuff. 
I did all the filing yesterday. 
I've taken out the trash.
I've swept. 

Usually... I would just chill on my phone until the phone rings and I ACTUALLY have something to do... 

but no. they have reiterated their no phones policy at the meeting today. 

which means I am back to just staring at the screen.... i hate this... i need things to do. stimulation for my brian. I need to be doing something. 

so.... i'm researching online. 
out of curiosity.... what jobs are hiring right now?

low and behold... one of our clients is hiring for an office administrator. Offering 11-15$ an hour. 
I'm really on the fence about reaching out to them. 

Because as dissatisfied as I am with working where I am... it's laid back here. I can take off work whenever I need to. I can have colored hair. It's close to home and it's honestly not a stressful job at all. Plus I can sneakily do all my homework here when school is in session - versus having to wait till I am home after work and not wanting to do anything but then having to tackle homework. 

however, this other job makes it seem like i would stay busy the whole day which is what I want. I miss actually being engaged and doing things. Its monday-friday, meaning I would still have my weekend. It even requires people to have a smartphone, which makes me think that's how everyone in the office communicates, either text or call, which is fine. it could *potentially* pay me equal to or more than what I am making now. 

Granted... if I leave where I am at I will have to pay like... I think it totaled about $120 for the eye insurance, dental insurance, cancer insurance, accident insurance, and life insurance.

BUT this other job would offer me health insurance. The question is... would it be as good as the health insurance that I have now through obamacare? I know a lot of office insurances are crappier plans... and thats something to consider. I really need more information before I make a switch. 

Thursday, July 2, 2020

Official

I am officially launching my side career as a Reader.

https://awaywiththefae-cominghome.blogspot.com/

check me out. tell your friends. ya girl is broke but its also something i love so... *finger guns*