oh wow

oh wow... so ita 1:03 and i get up at 6... i need to go to bed....

jake and i broke up in 2013 october of 2013...

thats a lot of missed time.

and being the selfish person that i am, i'm curious? did he ever think of me?

i know i missed him a lot.  and thought about him a lot.


"at least 30 seconds of every day. can't help it, he's like a bad habit" <-- hannibal quote hehe

and i never stopped loving him.

i just was hurting.

idk if i'll ever fully forgive him for breaking my heart, but if their is the possibility i might get my best friend back? hell yeah.

gods be praised.

i'll have to talk with him some more tomorrow.

thank you snapchat

closure and mending bridges (jake - yes, you read that right)

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHO I JUST HAD A CONVERSATION WITH.


..
..
...
.....
jake.

yup.
you read that right.

jake.

broke-my-heart-jake.
my-best-friend-jake.

guys...

ok.

so.

turns out that after we split? he read my blog.

all of it.
ALL.
OF.
IT,

like.... all the way to the first post.

now he hasn't read it for a while and he has forgotten what its called (thank the gods)

but he read it for a while after we split.

and you know what? at first i was horrified... he read all the angry, hurt, and vindictive posts... but now i feel glad. i always felt like i never got to actually tell him how i felt, but now i know he knows. he read them.
all.

this gives me a sense of closure.


and he isn't even mad.

he said that he himself had said some not so nice things. so it was fine.

guys...

could this mean i might get my best friend back?

holy shit.

i almost can't breathe.

and you know what i am about to do? read every post i made until i stopped posting about jake.

just to refresh my memory and know what he read.

and its 11:04...

i have an 8 AM class in the morning...which mean i need to be up by 6...

oh this is going to be fun.

but guys...

i am so happy i could cry.

blind date

so last night i went on my first blind date.

her name is stacy and is the roomate of a coworker/friend of mine. He brought his date (whom he met sunday, but it is obvious that they are SOOOO into eachother.) and we all went to noodles and co. for some food, the went back to their apartment and watched the second purge movie.

found out that she is into fandoms like me, loves all kinds of music, and is a really happy person. she seems pretty cool and i wouldn't mind seeing her again :)

soon. :)

HUFFLEPUFF wishlist

http://www.artfire.com/ext/shop/product_view/Jessicaveranda/10943008/hoghwart_school_-_hufflepuff/handmade/accessories/cases/cell_phone - ipod touch 5th generation

https://www.etsy.com/listing/217187591/harry-potter-clothing-hufflepuff-values?ref=sr_gallery_26&ga_search_query=hufflepuff&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_max=25&ga_page=2&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery

https://www.etsy.com/listing/207538980/unisex-hufflepuffs-do-it-in-the-kitchens?ref=sr_gallery_4&ga_search_query=hufflepuff+shirt&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_page=4&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery

https://www.etsy.com/listing/210271618/harry-potter-inspired-hogwarts-house?ref=sr_gallery_23&ga_search_query=hufflepuff+shirt&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_page=2&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery

New look (comin back)

Reference picture: 

How it came out: 

Just my luck

So I have 2 small crushes. One is a guy from work ( not going anywhere, because *cough* lesbian*cough*) and the other is a really cute girl from my archeology class who happens to be asexual and grey-romantic. Just my luck.

Now for those of you who don't know: asexual is a sexual orientation just like hetero, homo, and bi sexuality. Where as those are the attraction to others in a sexual way, asexuals lack sexual attraction. They do not desire or crave sex. It's not the same thing as being celibate, celibacy is a choice. 

She happens to be grey romantic. Which is a cross between romantic (wanting to have a intimate and romantic relationship) and aromantic (not wanting a romantic relationship). (Keep in mind sexual people can be aromantic... All sex no commitment)

I talked with her and the way she explains it is that she doesn't get crushed very often. She can count the number of of crushes she has ever had on one hand. 1. And she thinks that she might actually be demiromantic (you have to have a strong emotional bond to want a romantic relationship) because she had been best friends with the person for 6 years before she developed the crush.

Lol. Just my luck.

Still, life goes on and C'est La Vie

Kik girl

So... Somehow a random girl got my kik. And she was determined to get me to watch her masturbate. Naturally I deleted her from my messages.

But it prompts this blog. 

I don't like masturbation. I don't like doing it. I don't like hearing about it. I don't like watching it (if I'm watching porn and someone starts madturbating I'll actually skip that part). It makes me uncomfortable.  It's not a turn on for me. It's a turn off. 

I'm not against it. I know that madturbating is actually healthy and a great way to relieve stress. I just don't like it or anything involved with it. 

You do you, I'll just not.