Driving

let me tell you a little something about me and driving. we don't mix.
when i drive i get very nervous and anxious... my mind can't focus properly on all the things its supposed to. if i'm paying attention to where i'm supposed to go, i don't see the light change color. if i'm focusing on the cars around me, i can't focus on where i'm going. i don't remember how to get to places. i struggle to stay in my lane..... driving and i go together like water and oil.

then there are the dreams...

whenever i am driving in a dream it is always chaotic. i never have control of the vehicle and i usually end up going against on comming traffic at high speeds. i swerve and try to take control but it fails.

the other driving dreams i have involve me going throug a certain traffic light that i have to go through to get home from my best friend's hpuse. In the dream when i get there, the light is red, but i can't stop. my breaks don't work and i run the light and get in an accident and die.

i have had the brakes dream many many times.


driving scares me. i know i'm going to die in a car accident, but thats not why t scares me. I'm not affraid to die. but i get anxious and nervous and tense and my mind freaks out everytime i'm behind the wheel. yet.... i'm 17 and i still only have my permit. i havn't driven in a year... i have to get a job this summer and then i have to get my licence. i'm screwed.