so today i wanted to do something nice... for a not very nice person. My friends were trying to talk me out of it and they said some things that made me sad.
"she won't do anything nice back"
"there's no point"
"I don't like her"
...
..
..
.
.
.
.
.
so there has to be a point or gain to inspire kindness?
the point? to be kind.
the gain? doing something kind.
I don't like her either... but i'll still help her.
it really makes me sad that there is a "whats in it for me?" attitude when it comes to doing something nice.
i don't have that.
there was a mess no one was going to clean up....so i was going to do it.
not expecting anything in return.
not expecting to be thanked.
not expecting a reward.
just to be nice.
it was the right thing to do.
why is that such a rarity now?
why do people no longer have the desire to help others?
Why??
this really bothers me.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Niche in physics
Mr. Hendrickson told me he thinks I found my niche in physics. That I have been doing some good work? Lolololol
But he made a point. The stuff that doesn't involve math.... I'm good at. It's called conceptual physics. That's the kind of physics I can do.... And coming from him saying that i have a niche in physics... That's nice :3
But he made a point. The stuff that doesn't involve math.... I'm good at. It's called conceptual physics. That's the kind of physics I can do.... And coming from him saying that i have a niche in physics... That's nice :3
Outcome
So yesterday I thought my aunt and mom we're going to be pissed at me.... I was half right. Mom was pissed i spent $85 on a "maybe" from my aunt.
Oh... And my aunt Mary is going to be called Mary. Friend Mary is going to now be referee to as Maude.
Again....
So.... A boy in my physics class tried to kill himself. The cause is something in his home life because in school he is quite successful. He just won several awards recently. ...
He overdosed last night. Thankfully he was able to get medical attention and is alright. We can't go and visit him but the class is going to make a card.
I want to make him an individual one. In it I will tell him he isn'nt alone. That I really do know what it's like to want to die. How deep the pit really is. The temptation. The sorrow. The pain. I know how it feels to just want it all to end. To just stop. Not to have to put up with all the shit life has. To want to escape.
I'm going to give him my number so he can call me anytime. I want him to know he isn't alone. That is very important.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
ECU orientation....
so i payed for my ECU orientation.
for me and my aunt.
she doesn't know if she can stay... but i payed for her anywhere. yeah i thought it would be 30 extra dolllars.... it was 85.... holy fuck.
now i'm not going to wish i hadn't.... because it is done.
she asked if i had to pay for her... when i said yes, she said how much and why i hadn't told her.
i said 85$ and i hadn't told her because i thought it was just going to be 30.
now... i could have waited another day to do it and talked to her about it, but i had put this off for too long and the sooner it got done the better my classes.
its done.
only now i think Mary is mad at me. if she is then mom will be too. mom will prolly be mad regardless for wasting 85 dollars...
fun fun fun.
and on top of that? while stressing about that my anger and tears came and with that came the anger and tears for the whole fucking situation. (going to ECU.... money ...)
basically i feel trapped and i have no way to get out.
which makes me want to just crawl into a hole and never come out.
I HATE feeling stuck. trapped. caged.
an now i know why: apparently that is a Sagittarius trait. well it sure as hell is kicking in.
I WANT OUT.
for me and my aunt.
she doesn't know if she can stay... but i payed for her anywhere. yeah i thought it would be 30 extra dolllars.... it was 85.... holy fuck.
now i'm not going to wish i hadn't.... because it is done.
she asked if i had to pay for her... when i said yes, she said how much and why i hadn't told her.
i said 85$ and i hadn't told her because i thought it was just going to be 30.
now... i could have waited another day to do it and talked to her about it, but i had put this off for too long and the sooner it got done the better my classes.
its done.
only now i think Mary is mad at me. if she is then mom will be too. mom will prolly be mad regardless for wasting 85 dollars...
fun fun fun.
and on top of that? while stressing about that my anger and tears came and with that came the anger and tears for the whole fucking situation. (going to ECU.... money ...)
basically i feel trapped and i have no way to get out.
which makes me want to just crawl into a hole and never come out.
I HATE feeling stuck. trapped. caged.
an now i know why: apparently that is a Sagittarius trait. well it sure as hell is kicking in.
I WANT OUT.
Physics starter 5/28
What is static electricity?
Static electricity is when friction develops a charge.
Static electricity is when friction develops a charge.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
this morning
sorry i forgot to publish this this morning.
"nothing like some blood and gore to brighten a girl's day."
lolololol.... Hannibal actually cured my bad mood :3
"nothing like some blood and gore to brighten a girl's day."
lolololol.... Hannibal actually cured my bad mood :3
Hannibal S2 Ep13
FUCK NO.
"when the fox hears the rabbit screa he comes running. but not to help."
that is form "Hannibal" the book. they say it when they decide to tear down Clarice Starling in order to draw out hannibal.
heheheheheheheh.
Will looks like 2 different people at that moment… one side is so cold and his eyes look dead. the other just looks sad and exhausted.
"in your memory palace"….. both he and sherlock have memory palaces. both are high functioning sociopaths. hm.
will….you just got busted by the smartest man in the room. never piss off the smartest man in the room.
uuugh. Malificent. i need to see you. unf. <3
hm. crossbones looks cool.
"an ___ is an image of a loved one in our unconscious. carried with us through all our lives."
hannibal - mischa
will - abigail?
Will you just blew up your entire plan.
I'M COLD.
"they know"…. same thing hannibal said to garret jacob hobbs. huh.
DAMMMMNNNNNN
this mud be the season finale.
because hannibal just went ham on jack.
DAMN. thats kinda sexy.
GO ALANA GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
aww…proof Hannibal actually like Alana. go away and i will never bother you. stay and i will kill you. he actually offered to let to go.
HOLY SHIT ITS ABIGAIL. WHATT????
she better be missing an ear.
and she just pushed Alana out the window.
bye bye alana :'(
PLEASE LIVE.
hannial's thoughts: oh will how much i love you. "you were supposed to leave"… you wanted to just save everyone didn't you. but you betrayed me. it was rude.yes you waned me to leave… but i can't leave you. my only true friend. i had it all planned out…you me and abigail. but you betrayed me.
LOL HE IS HAVING THE SAME CONVO WITH WILL HE HAD WITH CLARICE AT THE END OF THE HANNIBAL MOVIE.
hannibal forgives Will. can Will forgive him?
LECTER IF YOU HURT THAT GIRL SO HELP ME >:(
because he couldn't have both of them he chooses to kill both of them. way to go lector. way to go.
hannibal translation: i can make your pain stop. you won't see her dying. you won't feel pain. let me slit your throat dear one.
and will tries to save her….
………
they all die and hannibal goes free.
whut.
no.
what.
no.
what?
no…
SCREW YOU NBC…
he goes to france with lady shrink.
W.T.F.
i'm done. i am so done.
just no.
no.
no.
no.
no.
wait.
THERE WILL BE A SEASON 3????????
AHHH THAT MEANS THEY LIVE…RIGHT?
"when the fox hears the rabbit screa he comes running. but not to help."
that is form "Hannibal" the book. they say it when they decide to tear down Clarice Starling in order to draw out hannibal.
heheheheheheheh.
Will looks like 2 different people at that moment… one side is so cold and his eyes look dead. the other just looks sad and exhausted.
"in your memory palace"….. both he and sherlock have memory palaces. both are high functioning sociopaths. hm.
will….you just got busted by the smartest man in the room. never piss off the smartest man in the room.
uuugh. Malificent. i need to see you. unf. <3
hm. crossbones looks cool.
"an ___ is an image of a loved one in our unconscious. carried with us through all our lives."
hannibal - mischa
will - abigail?
Will you just blew up your entire plan.
I'M COLD.
"they know"…. same thing hannibal said to garret jacob hobbs. huh.
DAMMMMNNNNNN
this mud be the season finale.
because hannibal just went ham on jack.
DAMN. thats kinda sexy.
GO ALANA GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
aww…proof Hannibal actually like Alana. go away and i will never bother you. stay and i will kill you. he actually offered to let to go.
HOLY SHIT ITS ABIGAIL. WHATT????
she better be missing an ear.
and she just pushed Alana out the window.
bye bye alana :'(
PLEASE LIVE.
hannial's thoughts: oh will how much i love you. "you were supposed to leave"… you wanted to just save everyone didn't you. but you betrayed me. it was rude.yes you waned me to leave… but i can't leave you. my only true friend. i had it all planned out…you me and abigail. but you betrayed me.
LOL HE IS HAVING THE SAME CONVO WITH WILL HE HAD WITH CLARICE AT THE END OF THE HANNIBAL MOVIE.
hannibal forgives Will. can Will forgive him?
LECTER IF YOU HURT THAT GIRL SO HELP ME >:(
because he couldn't have both of them he chooses to kill both of them. way to go lector. way to go.
hannibal translation: i can make your pain stop. you won't see her dying. you won't feel pain. let me slit your throat dear one.
and will tries to save her….
………
they all die and hannibal goes free.
whut.
no.
what.
no.
what?
no…
SCREW YOU NBC…
he goes to france with lady shrink.
W.T.F.
i'm done. i am so done.
just no.
no.
no.
no.
no.
wait.
THERE WILL BE A SEASON 3????????
AHHH THAT MEANS THEY LIVE…RIGHT?
and what do i do?
what do i do when i'm bored and there is a new episode?
do i do my orientation info for ECU? nope. i feed my addiction.
do i do my orientation info for ECU? nope. i feed my addiction.
foul
what is fair is foul and foul is fair.
well i'd say i might qualify as "fair" looking… and i know i am most foul this morning.
i mean - shit not even a Woolard hug could dispel this mood fore more than a few seconds.
well i'd say i might qualify as "fair" looking… and i know i am most foul this morning.
i mean - shit not even a Woolard hug could dispel this mood fore more than a few seconds.
- i'm angry because my mom thinks i'm a their - that i stole from her - when i borrowed 50 cents from the FAMILY CHANGE JAR so i could have drink money for my break at work.
- all my bitterness about ECU and Agnes is back. ten fold.
- Racheal is acting like she is my superior. talking to me in a condescending way about me being unhappy about work. (you shouldn't complain… - bitch what do you know? you sill have your fucking freedom.) fussing at me if i don't stand up fast enough for the pledge of allegiance. bitch I WAS STANDING UP.
- i have to do this fucking orientation thing.
- i have to call about car insurance.
- fuck it all i want to just go to theater class and stay there all day.
- top it all off: i'm bored.
I fell what little freedom had slipping away. i am joing from being caged by my mom to being caged by money, my mom, car-shit, job… lis goes on.
this make-believe thing called freedom… is a lie.
which makes me bitter.
bitter. bitter.bitter.bitter.bitter.fuckingbitterasfuck.
bitter about school.
bitter about money.
bitter about "freedom".
bitter about life.
life asked death why she was so disliked and she answered "because i am a hard truth and you are a beautiful lie".
what is fair is foul. what is foul is fair.
Saturday, May 24, 2014
mini-update
- kevin went to stay at a hotel because his drinking and smoking upset cara and momma
- i sensed a werewolf last night. not the rawr-i-have-no-control-killing-machine-monster type werewolf. i mean a feral and aggressive wolf-man fae that would be considered a werewolf. ididn't see him. i was walking last night and felt a heat drawing me closer to a section of woods, when i got closer i felt something watching me. predator. i inched closer and the closer i got the more agressive it became. i finally stopped when i got the feeling that if i took one more step it would jump out at me.
now... i don't think it would have hurt me. scared me? hell yeah. Mary sensed it too. she said wolf.... and then when i said werewolf she agreed.
we continued forward and it followed, it seemed annoyed. i don't know if it was following us to make sure we got through safley or to make sure we got out of its way, but when we turned around and went back to Mary's it stopped watching us. i think we interrupted something and it was annoyed.
but not i'm-gonna-eat-you annoyed. more like stupid-human-getting-in-my-way annoyed. really cool.
- i sensed a werewolf last night. not the rawr-i-have-no-control-killing-machine-monster type werewolf. i mean a feral and aggressive wolf-man fae that would be considered a werewolf. ididn't see him. i was walking last night and felt a heat drawing me closer to a section of woods, when i got closer i felt something watching me. predator. i inched closer and the closer i got the more agressive it became. i finally stopped when i got the feeling that if i took one more step it would jump out at me.
now... i don't think it would have hurt me. scared me? hell yeah. Mary sensed it too. she said wolf.... and then when i said werewolf she agreed.
we continued forward and it followed, it seemed annoyed. i don't know if it was following us to make sure we got through safley or to make sure we got out of its way, but when we turned around and went back to Mary's it stopped watching us. i think we interrupted something and it was annoyed.
but not i'm-gonna-eat-you annoyed. more like stupid-human-getting-in-my-way annoyed. really cool.
never taste of faerie fruit original song
this is an original song, although it was inspired by the music of Tool and Perfect Circle
Can you see through my illusion
i.. dare you to try.
Things aren't always what they appear to be
do..you never question why?
Glamour is a powerful tool
when we use it, use it well.
taste not of faerie fruit, for we've
got you in our spell.
do we ever kiss and tell?
For you.. you are caught up in our spell.
chorus:
we are the forest... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we hide inside it... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we are the forest.... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we live inside it... (standing right next to you)
can you feel me? i'm right behind you..
can you see me? i'm right beside you...
you don't see me (no)
you don't hear me (no)
you don't see me (no)
you don't hear me! (NO!)
Think of your little tinker bell,
flitting here and there.
if you think we are all like that,
then man, you're in for a scare.
do you care to take a dare?
do you care to take a dare?
taste not of faerie fruit,
you are in our sights (siiiiiiights)
follow voices of sweet music,
follow faerie lights (liiiiights)
taste not of faerie fruit.
taste not of faerie fruit.
taste not of faere fruit.
now, we have gotten you.
we are the forest.... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we live inside it... (standing right next to you)
we're right beside you,
come, let me guide you,
deeper and deeper into a world
in which you have never known
of feasts far and near and wide
i'm write beside you.
now taste of faerie fruit.
Can you see through my illusion
i.. dare you to try.
Things aren't always what they appear to be
do..you never question why?
Glamour is a powerful tool
when we use it, use it well.
taste not of faerie fruit, for we've
got you in our spell.
do we ever kiss and tell?
For you.. you are caught up in our spell.
chorus:
we are the forest... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we hide inside it... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we are the forest.... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we live inside it... (standing right next to you)
can you feel me? i'm right behind you..
can you see me? i'm right beside you...
you don't see me (no)
you don't hear me (no)
you don't see me (no)
you don't hear me! (NO!)
Think of your little tinker bell,
flitting here and there.
if you think we are all like that,
then man, you're in for a scare.
do you care to take a dare?
do you care to take a dare?
taste not of faerie fruit,
you are in our sights (siiiiiiights)
follow voices of sweet music,
follow faerie lights (liiiiights)
taste not of faerie fruit.
taste not of faerie fruit.
taste not of faere fruit.
now, we have gotten you.
chorus
we are the forest... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we hide inside it... (never taste of faerie fruit)we are the forest.... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we live inside it... (standing right next to you)
we're right beside you,
come, let me guide you,
deeper and deeper into a world
in which you have never known
of feasts far and near and wide
i'm write beside you.
now taste of faerie fruit.
Never taste of faerie fruit - part 1
***for this part think of "Judith" by Perfect Circle***
chorus:
we are the forest... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we hide inside it... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we are the forest.... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we live inside it... (standing right next to you)
can you feel me? i'm right behind you..
can you see me? i'm right beside you...
you don't see me (no)
you don't feel me (no)
you don't see me (no)
you don't feel me! (NO!)
**think of "learn to swim" verses for this one**
Verse 1
Can you see through my illusion
i.. dare you to try.
Things aren't always what they appear to be
do..you never question why?
Glamour is a powerful tool
when we use it, use it well.
taste not of faerie fruit,
for we've got, got you in our spell.
do we ever kiss and tell?
For you.. you are caught up in our spell.
chorus
Verse 2?
Think of your little tinker bell,
flitting here and there.
if you think we are all like that,
then man, you're in for a scare.
do you care to take a dare?
do you care to take a dare?
taste not of faerie fruit,
you are in our sights (siiiiiiights)
follow voices of sweet music,
follow faerie lights (liiiiights)
taste not of faerie fruit.
taste no of faerie fruit.
taste not of faeire fruit.
now, we have gotten you.
we're right beside you.
come let me guide you.
i'm write beside you.
now taste of faerie fruit.
chorus:
we are the forest... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we hide inside it... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we are the forest.... (never taste of faerie fruit)
we live inside it... (standing right next to you)
can you feel me? i'm right behind you..
can you see me? i'm right beside you...
you don't see me (no)
you don't feel me (no)
you don't see me (no)
you don't feel me! (NO!)
**think of "learn to swim" verses for this one**
Verse 1
Can you see through my illusion
i.. dare you to try.
Things aren't always what they appear to be
do..you never question why?
Glamour is a powerful tool
when we use it, use it well.
taste not of faerie fruit,
for we've got, got you in our spell.
do we ever kiss and tell?
For you.. you are caught up in our spell.
chorus
Verse 2?
Think of your little tinker bell,
flitting here and there.
if you think we are all like that,
then man, you're in for a scare.
do you care to take a dare?
do you care to take a dare?
taste not of faerie fruit,
you are in our sights (siiiiiiights)
follow voices of sweet music,
follow faerie lights (liiiiights)
taste not of faerie fruit.
taste no of faerie fruit.
taste not of faeire fruit.
now, we have gotten you.
chorus
finale :
come let me guide you.
i'm write beside you.
now taste of faerie fruit.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Song for Kevin. - so far
"you know Karma is a bitch
she now has your name on her lips."
Can you feel her gaze even now?
She watches you- every move and every breath
come to her arms out stretched.
she'll be there - when you expect it not
You'll find your ass is fuckin' hot.
You're standing above the fire,
and she's waiting to drop you in.
You know Karma is a bitch,
and she has your name on her lips.
----------------------- ^ i like that so far.
You know what you did,
now so does she,
You think you can run, but you'll never be free.
I'm standing away but -
let me tell you i see.
she'll be there - when you expect it not
You'll find your ass is fuckin' hot.
You're standing above the fire,
and she's waiting to drop you in.
You know Karma is a bitch,
and she has your name on her lips.
she now has your name on her lips."
Can you feel her gaze even now?
She watches you- every move and every breath
come to her arms out stretched.
she'll be there - when you expect it not
You'll find your ass is fuckin' hot.
You're standing above the fire,
and she's waiting to drop you in.
You know Karma is a bitch,
and she has your name on her lips.
----------------------- ^ i like that so far.
You know what you did,
now so does she,
You think you can run, but you'll never be free.
I'm standing away but -
let me tell you i see.
she'll be there - when you expect it not
You'll find your ass is fuckin' hot.
You're standing above the fire,
and she's waiting to drop you in.
You know Karma is a bitch,
and she has your name on her lips.
*holds breath*
i'm a jerk.
i know.
i'm a jerk.
i know.
i'm a jerk.
i know.
so. i told Mary i wanted to go back to being friends. and if the honey moon phase ever does it then we could go back out.
i'ma jerk.
i'm mean.
but i was honest about what i thought was best.
i already changed my FB status.
which i felt was kinda mean.
and i don't want it showing up in my news feed... but its not showing on my profile so i can't make it not-show until someone comments or likes it. then i can delete it.
ooooooooooh i'm a bitch.
>.< i feel bad.
and surprisingly? Mary still wants me to come over on friday.....
i know.
i'm a jerk.
i know.
i'm a jerk.
i know.
so. i told Mary i wanted to go back to being friends. and if the honey moon phase ever does it then we could go back out.
i'ma jerk.
i'm mean.
but i was honest about what i thought was best.
i already changed my FB status.
which i felt was kinda mean.
and i don't want it showing up in my news feed... but its not showing on my profile so i can't make it not-show until someone comments or likes it. then i can delete it.
ooooooooooh i'm a bitch.
>.< i feel bad.
and surprisingly? Mary still wants me to come over on friday.....
wise words
so some wise words were mentioned in Mary's blog post.
it takes two to make a relationship.
this is true. very true.
and at the moment.... i'd say she is puting in about 90% of the work in the relationship... maybe 95%. that isn't two people...
and then there's this:
" Plus, she has doubts. A seed grows into a plant. It's up to her. If she'll be happy with me as a girlfriend, we can try to get things on the right track. If she doesn't think it'll work, we can break it off. Luna- How will you be happiest?"
well i was talking with my friend Madison, who although she is heart breaker, said something that i couldn't help agreeing with.
"You two seem like you'd be great friends btut poor lovers"
leave it to maddie to use old language :P
but it was what i'd been feeling.
i don't want to loose Mary. at all.
but i just don't feel like the relationship - at least on my side - will progress any further.
the seed of doubt.
and to be fair.. i don't think we were ever on the same page...
idk.
the question is left in the air.... "what do we do?"
it takes two to make a relationship.
this is true. very true.
and at the moment.... i'd say she is puting in about 90% of the work in the relationship... maybe 95%. that isn't two people...
and then there's this:
" Plus, she has doubts. A seed grows into a plant. It's up to her. If she'll be happy with me as a girlfriend, we can try to get things on the right track. If she doesn't think it'll work, we can break it off. Luna- How will you be happiest?"
well i was talking with my friend Madison, who although she is heart breaker, said something that i couldn't help agreeing with.
"You two seem like you'd be great friends btut poor lovers"
leave it to maddie to use old language :P
but it was what i'd been feeling.
i don't want to loose Mary. at all.
but i just don't feel like the relationship - at least on my side - will progress any further.
the seed of doubt.
and to be fair.. i don't think we were ever on the same page...
idk.
the question is left in the air.... "what do we do?"
Cirque Du Soliel
shall i watch some circus of the sun? yes… i think i shall…..
should i finish Totem?
or shall i start another one?
Amaluna?
Zumanity?
should i finish Totem?
Amaluna?
Zumanity?
maybe one of the micheal jackson ones?
or OvO?
idk.
updated grades:
honors physics: 90 = B in unweighted = A in weighted
honors math: 89 = B in unweighted = A in weighted
theater: 99 = A
art: unknown.
what is she thinking?
so Mary hasn't updated her blog. idk what she is thinking.
what is she thinking after our conversation last night?
is she weighing the pro's and cons of the relationship.
is she telling herself there is hope for the relationship or is she thinking that its not going to go anywhere?
shall i weigh the pros and cons?
pros:
what is she thinking after our conversation last night?
is she weighing the pro's and cons of the relationship.
is she telling herself there is hope for the relationship or is she thinking that its not going to go anywhere?
shall i weigh the pros and cons?
pros:
- she is a relaxing energy
- she is a positive energy
- she is spiritually similar
- she is hippie-ish (more so than me)
- she is a good cuddler
cons:
- no chemistry - its like i'm dating a friend
- maybe a little too hippie? (granted… i admire her determination and dedication to her 1 year plan… i'll support her choices… but still.)
- its like we are a bit too similar…theres no spark for me.
- i think the relationship started before i was ready for it to. thats why there was no honey moon phase… and it is the honey moon phase that tends to fuel the relationship… gives it a strong start.
- i feel like a jerk because i'm not really invested in the relationship.
i will leave this ball in her court. if she wants to break up, then we break up. if she wants to continue then we'll continue. but at least now she knows its an uneven situation.
RESSSSSSTLESSSSSSSSS
AHHHHH I AM SO RESTLESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i feel like i have all the energy of a 5 year old jacked up on mountain dew and pixie sticks…. but i'm not hyper. its just energy thrumming inside me and no where to go.
the feeling i have been having i think was letting me know things are changing.
things with Mary may change.
Kevin is now here.
i'm going to go get a government ID today so i can accept my student loan.
10000 dollars.
once i do that? i can fix my computer.
oh gosh…. we have a pop quiz on light today in physics…. THOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel like i have all the energy of a 5 year old jacked up on mountain dew and pixie sticks…. but i'm not hyper. its just energy thrumming inside me and no where to go.
the feeling i have been having i think was letting me know things are changing.
things with Mary may change.
Kevin is now here.
i'm going to go get a government ID today so i can accept my student loan.
10000 dollars.
once i do that? i can fix my computer.
oh gosh…. we have a pop quiz on light today in physics…. THOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kevin
so Kevin, my mom's sweetheart, is now in the house. he stayed over last night and it was pretty cool. He already has 2 job offers - which is great!
also… he's pagan. whaaaaattt?! :D
i gave him my triquetra necklace, which he seemed touched by, because he didn't have any way to identify his belief. i had 2 necklaces, he had none. he admired my necklace so i gave it to hime. :)
he also believes in faeries. and spirits. and the old gods. and just <3
i was a little nervous before seeing him, but its so easy to talk to him. he's so cool.
also… he's pagan. whaaaaattt?! :D
i gave him my triquetra necklace, which he seemed touched by, because he didn't have any way to identify his belief. i had 2 necklaces, he had none. he admired my necklace so i gave it to hime. :)
he also believes in faeries. and spirits. and the old gods. and just <3
i was a little nervous before seeing him, but its so easy to talk to him. he's so cool.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
rant-ish
i mean....
i like Mary. i do.
but we are so similar... there no chemistry.
i like being around her. she has a good and mellow energy.
its calming.
helps me relax.
but its like i'm with a friend.
and its not fair to her.
it really isn't.
being in this relationship wouldn't upset me. but ending it would hurt her more than me... she is more invested.
i'm not.
again... not fair to her.
i like Mary. i do.
but we are so similar... there no chemistry.
i like being around her. she has a good and mellow energy.
its calming.
helps me relax.
but its like i'm with a friend.
and its not fair to her.
it really isn't.
being in this relationship wouldn't upset me. but ending it would hurt her more than me... she is more invested.
i'm not.
again... not fair to her.
waiting
so i kind of explained to Mary - as gently as i could - what i had meant by my blog post "distance".
i think she understands it a bit more now... but idk what her thinking is. ultimately i told her "i like hanging out with you... but its just like hanging out with another friend. one i can relate to on a spiritual level...but..."
and then i had said if she still wanted me to come over on friday then i would. she does.
but she just kind of dropped our conversation..
so i'm going to - for now - go on a limb as say she wants to continue the realtionship and hope i enter the gooey-lovey honey moon phase. but i'm worried i won't. thts a phase you enter in as soon as the relationship starts. i didn't/ and then i got bitch slapped by all this stress...
and though i'm leaving the ball in her court... this is really an unfair relationship.
with her being the one who is invested and caring and trying...and granted i could do sweet things like send her good morning and good night texts, and say sweet things to her and i can be romantic... but it really wouldn't be genuine. and i won't do it because it wouldn't be genuine and i don't want to lead her on.
i will try to continue the conversation friday...
but she is having her best friend Caitlyn and her boyfriend are coming over.... is it like a double date or a hang out? i don't know. so i guess it would have to wait until they go.
and then i have to be at work by 1. so meaning we'd have to leave at like.... 12...
get up at like... 9-10
goddess...Thoth...Astarte... guide me.
for now the conversation is about her cats.
wile the previous one is waiting....
i think she understands it a bit more now... but idk what her thinking is. ultimately i told her "i like hanging out with you... but its just like hanging out with another friend. one i can relate to on a spiritual level...but..."
and then i had said if she still wanted me to come over on friday then i would. she does.
but she just kind of dropped our conversation..
so i'm going to - for now - go on a limb as say she wants to continue the realtionship and hope i enter the gooey-lovey honey moon phase. but i'm worried i won't. thts a phase you enter in as soon as the relationship starts. i didn't/ and then i got bitch slapped by all this stress...
and though i'm leaving the ball in her court... this is really an unfair relationship.
with her being the one who is invested and caring and trying...and granted i could do sweet things like send her good morning and good night texts, and say sweet things to her and i can be romantic... but it really wouldn't be genuine. and i won't do it because it wouldn't be genuine and i don't want to lead her on.
i will try to continue the conversation friday...
but she is having her best friend Caitlyn and her boyfriend are coming over.... is it like a double date or a hang out? i don't know. so i guess it would have to wait until they go.
and then i have to be at work by 1. so meaning we'd have to leave at like.... 12...
get up at like... 9-10
goddess...Thoth...Astarte... guide me.
for now the conversation is about her cats.
wile the previous one is waiting....
Sassy
so.... i'm wearing something sassy to school awards day on friday :3
a see through-ish purple shirt with black lace-like materials on the open shoulders. and black leggings. with my boots. ohh yeeeaaahhhhhh
a see through-ish purple shirt with black lace-like materials on the open shoulders. and black leggings. with my boots. ohh yeeeaaahhhhhh
a bee among birds
so... my mom high school sweetheart is going to be staying with us for a little while. i'm not sure how i feel about it. i mean... all my memories of him are good. i remember that he loves us. but its been 7 years since i last saw him. plus... a man will be living with us!?
idk... it makes me a little uncomfortable. i don't know how i'll handle it. i mean... i can't go dancing around the house now because even if mom and cara are in their rooms, he'll be there.
idk... i kind of feel like i'm meeting him for the first time because i honestly don't remember him. i remember that he loves us and that i enjoyed when i saw him, but i don't remember any actual things.
i honestly.... don't know.
i don't think i have ever lived with a guy staying in the same house with us before.
meaning no streaking across the house if i left something. i need to wear pants at night - a long shirt won't cut it. i have to cover up more. can't dance. and since he is out of work for the moment, he'l be here all the time.
would he get his feelings hurt if i just went out on walks all the time?
idk.... i don't know how it will be.
a bee among birds.... a man wil be living with us...
and racheal doesn't even know!!! imagine her surprise when she gets home saturday!
idk... it makes me a little uncomfortable. i don't know how i'll handle it. i mean... i can't go dancing around the house now because even if mom and cara are in their rooms, he'll be there.
idk... i kind of feel like i'm meeting him for the first time because i honestly don't remember him. i remember that he loves us and that i enjoyed when i saw him, but i don't remember any actual things.
i honestly.... don't know.
i don't think i have ever lived with a guy staying in the same house with us before.
meaning no streaking across the house if i left something. i need to wear pants at night - a long shirt won't cut it. i have to cover up more. can't dance. and since he is out of work for the moment, he'l be here all the time.
would he get his feelings hurt if i just went out on walks all the time?
idk.... i don't know how it will be.
a bee among birds.... a man wil be living with us...
and racheal doesn't even know!!! imagine her surprise when she gets home saturday!
jhgjgkhg
i'm bored.
i can think of things i want to do…. but not really anyone i want to do them with…
i mean… cuddling and netflix - Mary… but i don't really want to watch movies right now. at least not movies that would be appropriate.
i can't do some other stuff because i'm in a relationship, plus my laptop is broken.
i'm bored and restless. fuuunnnnnnnn.
i can think of things i want to do…. but not really anyone i want to do them with…
i mean… cuddling and netflix - Mary… but i don't really want to watch movies right now. at least not movies that would be appropriate.
i can't do some other stuff because i'm in a relationship, plus my laptop is broken.
i'm bored and restless. fuuunnnnnnnn.
maybe its this?
so i'm thinking maybe what i'm missing is fun?
like….. even though i'm missing(out on) something, i'm in a good mood. it isn't a depressed feeling.
i really want to laugh and play and be happy and i feel like whatever i am missing out on would give me that.
i'm missing something. missing out on something or someone, that would make me happy or have fun.
that doesn't help much :P
i can't think of anyone i don't already know or see that don't somewhat fill these requirements.
no.. this feeling is i'm missing something/someone new. like i'm missing a chance to do it/meet them. but what? who?
i just now got the feeling that maybe its a person. i'll have to delve deeper.
like….. even though i'm missing(out on) something, i'm in a good mood. it isn't a depressed feeling.
i really want to laugh and play and be happy and i feel like whatever i am missing out on would give me that.
i'm missing something. missing out on something or someone, that would make me happy or have fun.
that doesn't help much :P
i can't think of anyone i don't already know or see that don't somewhat fill these requirements.
no.. this feeling is i'm missing something/someone new. like i'm missing a chance to do it/meet them. but what? who?
i just now got the feeling that maybe its a person. i'll have to delve deeper.
grades
so as of right now my FPA is 4.3793
math - 91
physics - 85
theater - 97
art - 90
at least according to power schools.
my math progress report says: - 89
ssooooo….
i don't trust power schools…. it lies…
*** edit
maybe not. I think he may have plugged in my term paper grade, which would have brought the grade up.
math - 91
physics - 85
theater - 97
art - 90
at least according to power schools.
my math progress report says: - 89
ssooooo….
i don't trust power schools…. it lies…
*** edit
maybe not. I think he may have plugged in my term paper grade, which would have brought the grade up.
what is it?
something is missing… what is it? i feel like i am missing out on something…. i am missing something… i'm supposed to be DOING something…. and its something i would enjoy. something good. what is passing me by? i can FEEL it passing me by. but what? what is it????????????????
i wish i could meditate - right now and while the feeling is still fresh.
SG do you know? what am i missing?
its going to drive me crazy!!!!
i wish i could meditate - right now and while the feeling is still fresh.
SG do you know? what am i missing?
its going to drive me crazy!!!!
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
october
okay so.... in October Mrs. Herrera is going to take me to go see Phantom Of The Opera in Raleigh as a kind of graduation present. Guess who said he was comming along and was going to take us out to dinner that night? Mr. Hendrickson. My physics teacher. yaaaay~
I like Mr. Hendrickson. He is actually kinda cool and i think i would like hanging out with him. :) i kinda wish i had hung out with him and Mrs. herrera at bush gardens... they saw a musical there and i really wish i had gone to see it with them~~~~~
and they rode more rides than we did :P
though i did like seeing Megan after the water rides. i swear that girl loves water, half way down the second trip in the roman rapids i guess - correctly- that she is an Aquarius. and she was wearing all white lol, poor girl.
I like Mr. Hendrickson. He is actually kinda cool and i think i would like hanging out with him. :) i kinda wish i had hung out with him and Mrs. herrera at bush gardens... they saw a musical there and i really wish i had gone to see it with them~~~~~
and they rode more rides than we did :P
though i did like seeing Megan after the water rides. i swear that girl loves water, half way down the second trip in the roman rapids i guess - correctly- that she is an Aquarius. and she was wearing all white lol, poor girl.
Monday, May 19, 2014
Hannibal S2 Ep12
i was curious as to what would happen.... hehehehehehe how does it feel hannibal to have a dose of your own medicine?
"whenever feasible one should always try to eat the rude" .... thus the fannibal kingdom's motto: we eat the rude.
aww..... Will's ears wiggle when he smiled :3
heh. feet on the desk/table. RUDE.
..... Verger stabbed his knife into hannibal's chair..and his jaw actually dropped like: did you really just do that?
"whenever feasible one should always try to eat the rude" .... thus the fannibal kingdom's motto: we eat the rude.
aww..... Will's ears wiggle when he smiled :3
heh. feet on the desk/table. RUDE.
..... Verger stabbed his knife into hannibal's chair..and his jaw actually dropped like: did you really just do that?
LADY SHRINK!! <3
she's going to help them!! :D
DAMMIT INTERNET LOAD!!!!!!
14...
bah.. commercials.
uuughhh... why is it not loading and repeating everything?????
so because the episode isn't loading right, i decided to read the summary underneathe it that says what happens. no. no. no. no. no.
NBC is not in their right mind.
no.
no
no
no
no
no
no.
this is too far away from the plot of hannibal.
they include characters not put into the movies... but they decide to kill chilton? wtf?
then kill Mason Verger's henchman Carlo?
then kill Mason Verger!!!????
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL NBC?????!!!!!
so... i'm going to watch it.. though i don't want to anymore. i'm so ticked off.
so much symbolism.... a fish dish in gelo in which it "become unclear who is chasing who"..... hhhmmmmmmmm hannibal hannibal hannibal... you classy cannibal you....
"whomever is pursueing whom in this room - i intend to eat them" SO MUCH CANNIBALISM PUNSSSSSSSSSSS jaaaaaaack
gods hannibal you are so sexy when you go all ass-kicker....
you see.... they are taking things from all movies and books.... making it fit in.... working out... but they are screwing it all up... they are clever... but wrong!!!! very clever... but no!!!
at this rate there will be no clarice starling. which is UN-ACCEPTABLE.
god mason you're an ass.
will is not a murderer.... good job..
go joob hannibal.... you didn'tlet him hurt the dogs..
=.= ... ... .. why is their whimpering...dog whimpering...
oh thats nasty...
he looks like a zombie...
nope. not watching him saw off his nose.
oooh ooh ooh.... mason isn't dead....good job. and they have the electric eel. gooooood goooood gooood
but why is Verger protecting Will and Hannibal... oh. "i only hope i can repay him one day"... r-e-v-e-n-g-e
duh duh duuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh
so Hannibal will reveal himself to Jack..... bum bum bum...
and then try to kill him of coarse.
killers
so i want to blog about something that fascinates me. killers.
i love to watch documentaries about them.
i like to watch shows with them.
i like learning about them. i like thinking about what goes on in their minds.
But its a bit scary how much i like learning about them.
There is a documentary show, called "Deadly Women" about female killers. not necesarily serial killers, but killers none the less. and as weird and messed up as it sounds i get excited when i watch it. Seeing these women makes me feel powerful. seeing their power.
learning about them puts me in a intellectual high. i love it. it makes me burn with a yearning to understand them.
I'm not kidding when i say that if my life hadn't gone the way it did? i probably would be a serial killer. i'm dead serious.
granted i don't think i will become one now. But its an interesting fact that killers and other dark taboos intrigue me to no end. no end.
i love to watch documentaries about them.
i like to watch shows with them.
i like learning about them. i like thinking about what goes on in their minds.
But its a bit scary how much i like learning about them.
There is a documentary show, called "Deadly Women" about female killers. not necesarily serial killers, but killers none the less. and as weird and messed up as it sounds i get excited when i watch it. Seeing these women makes me feel powerful. seeing their power.
learning about them puts me in a intellectual high. i love it. it makes me burn with a yearning to understand them.
I'm not kidding when i say that if my life hadn't gone the way it did? i probably would be a serial killer. i'm dead serious.
granted i don't think i will become one now. But its an interesting fact that killers and other dark taboos intrigue me to no end. no end.
senior awards night
so last thursday we had our senior awards night.
rachsal got several things for west point - one of which basically being a congratulations from the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES - via a man from west point.
we both got academic awards.
and then i got a big award… the award was given to six students for the most growth shown in the last 4 years and who have contributed the most to the school. i got one. i was the only girl who got it. i got it and when they read about who was getting it they said beautiful things. the last one was "the daughter you wish you could have….Lisa Sawyer"… i knew that had been Woolard. granted several teachers probably feel the same way, but i know that had to have been him. He was crying.
even typing it now makes me tear up.
and Mrs. Howard said that i got a LOT of votes and when i was decided to get it, she asked for some nice things to say and she said she got like 11 emails saying nice stuff. she said she would let me read them. i'm excited.
i feel honored. i should - its a big award.
but i feel loved. I didn't know that people payed that much attanetion to me. that i have an infectious smile. i didn't know they cared so much.
i wonder if i will cry when i read the emails… hm…
oh and woo lard still has my senior portfolio- the terd :P
rachsal got several things for west point - one of which basically being a congratulations from the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES - via a man from west point.
we both got academic awards.
and then i got a big award… the award was given to six students for the most growth shown in the last 4 years and who have contributed the most to the school. i got one. i was the only girl who got it. i got it and when they read about who was getting it they said beautiful things. the last one was "the daughter you wish you could have….Lisa Sawyer"… i knew that had been Woolard. granted several teachers probably feel the same way, but i know that had to have been him. He was crying.
even typing it now makes me tear up.
and Mrs. Howard said that i got a LOT of votes and when i was decided to get it, she asked for some nice things to say and she said she got like 11 emails saying nice stuff. she said she would let me read them. i'm excited.
i feel honored. i should - its a big award.
but i feel loved. I didn't know that people payed that much attanetion to me. that i have an infectious smile. i didn't know they cared so much.
i wonder if i will cry when i read the emails… hm…
oh and woo lard still has my senior portfolio- the terd :P
Thursday, May 15, 2014
tomorrow
the buses we are riding tomorrow to bush gardens is going to be amazing….
reclining chairs…
drinks….
electrical outlets...
movie screens…
more room than the previous buses we were going to use..
ahhhhhh yeeeaaaahhhh
reclining chairs…
drinks….
electrical outlets...
movie screens…
more room than the previous buses we were going to use..
ahhhhhh yeeeaaaahhhh
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Hannibal S2 Ep11
after that past episode i don't know if i want to keep watching. i mean…really.
i'm serious.
drowning a bird in liquor??? skinning it…. and then burning it…. at least he eats it….
ew just no….
congradulations lecter… you have made a friend… just as twisted as you…. NBC you piss me off.
oh look a rolling man in a wheel chair on fire…. where have i seen this before?
no seriously… where have i seen this before?
was it in Red Dragon? for some read on i'm thinking Red Dragon…
ahhh… using Freddie to create the ashes that he will rise from…. so poetic….BUT WRONG.
hehehehe….. i was wondering if Margo was just using Will for Sperm…. i was right xD
oh no… Mason Verger is about to hurt this poor child….. HANNIBAL EAT HIM ALREADY.
he likes to drink the tears of those he hurts…. thats interesting..
mischa… <3 abigail reminded hannibal of her…. thats why he killed her. Abigail was going to turn into a killer and he couldn't have his little sister be a killer like him….
"i'm sorry that i took that [her] from you… i wish that i could give it [her] back".
"so do i"….
… abigail might be the reason Will takes a turn for the good and destroys hannibal….. at least thats what BETTER HAPPEN NBC…YOU HEAR ME?
turning Freddie into a spiritual symbol…. wow Will… you are just so full of symbolism… oh? nope. that was hannibal.
Bloom know sWill is the killer…and she is figuring out that it is Hannibal that is building him up….
"its a courtship" every HannibalxWill shipper just went bat shit crazy.
*sigh* commercials...
here we goo...
oh shit margo!!!
he's going to remove her uterus.... which is why she later gets his sperm for her girlfriend in the book..
FREDDIEEEEEEE <3 WILL YOU AREN'T EVIL <3 <3 <3
so now we know everyone is trying to catch hannibal!!!!
and even Mason now is angry at hannibal... for putting the idea of having a baby in her head... which in turn made him remove any chance she had of having a baby.... making her hate him even more... which he both loves and dislikes... but he now knows he has been manipulated... which pisses him off...
heheheheheheheh.... poor hannibal.... you are actually being caught...nbc you have somewhat redeemed yourself.... you still killed Chilton, which is unforgivable. but... this is clever. this is cool. i like this.
i'm serious.
drowning a bird in liquor??? skinning it…. and then burning it…. at least he eats it….
ew just no….
congradulations lecter… you have made a friend… just as twisted as you…. NBC you piss me off.
oh look a rolling man in a wheel chair on fire…. where have i seen this before?
no seriously… where have i seen this before?
was it in Red Dragon? for some read on i'm thinking Red Dragon…
ahhh… using Freddie to create the ashes that he will rise from…. so poetic….BUT WRONG.
hehehehe….. i was wondering if Margo was just using Will for Sperm…. i was right xD
oh no… Mason Verger is about to hurt this poor child….. HANNIBAL EAT HIM ALREADY.
he likes to drink the tears of those he hurts…. thats interesting..
mischa… <3 abigail reminded hannibal of her…. thats why he killed her. Abigail was going to turn into a killer and he couldn't have his little sister be a killer like him….
"i'm sorry that i took that [her] from you… i wish that i could give it [her] back".
"so do i"….
… abigail might be the reason Will takes a turn for the good and destroys hannibal….. at least thats what BETTER HAPPEN NBC…YOU HEAR ME?
turning Freddie into a spiritual symbol…. wow Will… you are just so full of symbolism… oh? nope. that was hannibal.
Bloom know sWill is the killer…and she is figuring out that it is Hannibal that is building him up….
"its a courtship" every HannibalxWill shipper just went bat shit crazy.
*sigh* commercials...
here we goo...
oh shit margo!!!
he's going to remove her uterus.... which is why she later gets his sperm for her girlfriend in the book..
FREDDIEEEEEEE <3 WILL YOU AREN'T EVIL <3 <3 <3
so now we know everyone is trying to catch hannibal!!!!
and even Mason now is angry at hannibal... for putting the idea of having a baby in her head... which in turn made him remove any chance she had of having a baby.... making her hate him even more... which he both loves and dislikes... but he now knows he has been manipulated... which pisses him off...
heheheheheheheh.... poor hannibal.... you are actually being caught...nbc you have somewhat redeemed yourself.... you still killed Chilton, which is unforgivable. but... this is clever. this is cool. i like this.
Hannibal S2 Ep10
aww look at hannibal... the gentle friend.... healing up will...
"how will you repay him?"
by giving him the body he wanted....
yeah.....Poor Abigail... i think that is the one thing Will will never forgive Hannibal for... Will felt a fatherly love for the girl... he felt responsible.... and Hannibal felt similarly, but she was a tool and in his way... i think he was genuine when he said he was sorry he couldn't protect her in this life.
enter...the man eating pigs we later see in the movie Hannibal...
Verger you sick motherfucker... female suit, female screams... he is threatening to kill his sister if she doesn't do what he wants!!!
i can see why Hannibal takes his face off.... the vain bastard... Hannibal basically punishes verger for being an asshole and he is looking after Margo.
nbc don't piss me off again... Margo is a lesbian... will even said so... why are they about to sleep together???
okay this is just so weird...
will imagining he is sleeping with bloom... a lesbian sleeping with Will... Hannibal and bloom.. all at once... weirrrrrrrddddd
freddie you are such a smart woman.....
only i think Will is using hannibal to perfect his transormation so he can catch/kill lecter himself.
OOOOOHHHH VERGER...YOU GON DIE. YOU.GON. DIE. "Do you have a sister?" "i had a sister""then you understand the need to protect...mostly from herself."....asshole.... hannibal is going to eat your rude ass.
oh shit.... lecter is in his plastic suit.... and in someone's room.... not freddie... please not freddie....
shit freddie what are you thinking!!!!! she just found the corpse of the beat killer.... and is taking pictures.... yeah.... freddie has to die now... no hope for her.
WILL FINDS HER!!? he is such a wild card... naturally his first instincts are to kill her... but its Will.,... she may just keep it to herself... she is a wild card too.... how is this going to end? i predict death.....
Freddie…. :(
HOLY SHIT WILL WHAT!!!??????
"i provide the ingredient, you tell me what to do with it"…. WILL WHAT ARE YOU DOINNG!!!???????
"she was a slim and delicate pig"…. no….no no no no no no no NBC YOU FUCKING IDIOT…WILL CATCHES HANNIBAL HE DOESN'T JOIN HANNIBAL…
that is just wrong…
he's eating freddie…
no…
HANNIBAL DOES NOT HAVE A GOD COMPLEX…. STOP MAKING HIM INTO SOMETHING HE ISN'T…
i'm … not sure what to say… that episode…was jut… no...
"how will you repay him?"
by giving him the body he wanted....
yeah.....Poor Abigail... i think that is the one thing Will will never forgive Hannibal for... Will felt a fatherly love for the girl... he felt responsible.... and Hannibal felt similarly, but she was a tool and in his way... i think he was genuine when he said he was sorry he couldn't protect her in this life.
enter...the man eating pigs we later see in the movie Hannibal...
Verger you sick motherfucker... female suit, female screams... he is threatening to kill his sister if she doesn't do what he wants!!!
i can see why Hannibal takes his face off.... the vain bastard... Hannibal basically punishes verger for being an asshole and he is looking after Margo.
nbc don't piss me off again... Margo is a lesbian... will even said so... why are they about to sleep together???
okay this is just so weird...
will imagining he is sleeping with bloom... a lesbian sleeping with Will... Hannibal and bloom.. all at once... weirrrrrrrddddd
freddie you are such a smart woman.....
only i think Will is using hannibal to perfect his transormation so he can catch/kill lecter himself.
OOOOOHHHH VERGER...YOU GON DIE. YOU.GON. DIE. "Do you have a sister?" "i had a sister""then you understand the need to protect...mostly from herself."....asshole.... hannibal is going to eat your rude ass.
oh shit.... lecter is in his plastic suit.... and in someone's room.... not freddie... please not freddie....
shit freddie what are you thinking!!!!! she just found the corpse of the beat killer.... and is taking pictures.... yeah.... freddie has to die now... no hope for her.
WILL FINDS HER!!? he is such a wild card... naturally his first instincts are to kill her... but its Will.,... she may just keep it to herself... she is a wild card too.... how is this going to end? i predict death.....
Freddie…. :(
HOLY SHIT WILL WHAT!!!??????
"i provide the ingredient, you tell me what to do with it"…. WILL WHAT ARE YOU DOINNG!!!???????
"she was a slim and delicate pig"…. no….no no no no no no no NBC YOU FUCKING IDIOT…WILL CATCHES HANNIBAL HE DOESN'T JOIN HANNIBAL…
that is just wrong…
he's eating freddie…
no…
HANNIBAL DOES NOT HAVE A GOD COMPLEX…. STOP MAKING HIM INTO SOMETHING HE ISN'T…
i'm … not sure what to say… that episode…was jut… no...
physics starter
How do the properties of EM waves determine their uses?
- The types of waves would determine how they are used, Radio waves, Light waves, thermal radiation, X ray, visible light, microwave, infrared, gamma rays are all EM waves and all have different purposes.
What determines the colors you see in nature?
- How light is reflected and how those rays are absorbed by our eyes.
Why are optical fibers preferred over electrical cables to send information?
- They can carry more information at one time. Example: an optical fiber can carry over 100 different phone conversations while a capper one carries only one.
What limits the amount of data storage on an optical disk and why are lasers used to read them?
- i don't know the answer to the first one, but laser's can increase the amount of data that can be stored.
Why has the world gone digital (compared to analog)?
- It is read much faster and the images are clearer.
morning everyone!
good morning everyone!!!
so i'm in an odd mood… let me fill you in.
so i'm in an odd mood… let me fill you in.
- i got a lovely greeting from my theater teacher "Lisa sawyer i love you face!" :3 i love this lady!
- Mary sent me a sweet letter as a reply to the posts i wrote… (i don't think she fully understands what i was saying, but…) the letter was sweet and i appreciated it.
- its very humid… and i'm wearing long sleeves… T_T
- i had an interesting dream… involving a red head assassin-hooker chick. and a surfer pimp. and it started out as a weird dream about college and kind of just… morphed? xD
- My friends Calvin and Joey might know what is wrong with my home computer - and if they are right? it can be easily fixed.
- I might not be able to go to Bush gardens with my class…. its going to rain friday and they are going to move the date…. probably to May 30 which is when Cara's birthday is…. and i don't know if i can go…. which is a bitch.
- physics work is ridiculous…
Monday, May 12, 2014
light - physics web quest
Light waves are but one of the many types of waves that make up the electromagnetic spectrum. Visible light (electromagnetic waves that we can see) ranges in frequency from 4.3 x 1014 to 7.5 x 1014 Hz. Thus, light makes up a very small portion of the electromagnetic spectrum.
Light, unlike sound, can travel through a vacuum. In a vacuum, such as interstellar space, the speed of light is3.0 x 108 m/s. When light travels through other materials, such as air or water, it slows down. This effect helps explain one of the phenomena that you will be exploring in this Inquiry: refraction.
What happens when light waves strike an object?
The answer to that question depends on the nature of the object. Sometimes, light waves bounce off an object. Other times, they are absorbed by the object. It is also possible for light waves to travel through the object. In this Inquiry, you are going to explore what happens when light waves bounce off or travel through objects.
part 1
1.
6. Reflected light goes the opposite direction of the incident ray, scattered goes the same direction of the incident ray.
7. Diamonds are highly refractive with a refractive index of 2.417. That number tells us that light travels approximately 2.5 times faster in air than it does in diamond.
9. The index basically tells us (the index being x) that light would travel x many times faster through air than it would through that object.
Part 2
10.
11.
12. the incident Ray travels faster than the Reflected Ray.
13. index of refraction = velocity of light in vacuum / velocity of light in medium
14. slower; faster
15. speed up; toward
16. slow down, away
Part 3
Applet doesn't work.
Part 4.
no applet…
People in this group: Lisa Sawyer, Racheal Sawyer, Nick Wilkinson, Kayla Smith
Light, unlike sound, can travel through a vacuum. In a vacuum, such as interstellar space, the speed of light is
What happens when light waves strike an object?
The answer to that question depends on the nature of the object. Sometimes, light waves bounce off an object. Other times, they are absorbed by the object. It is also possible for light waves to travel through the object. In this Inquiry, you are going to explore what happens when light waves bounce off or travel through objects.
part 1
1.
- light bounces off the object (reflect)
- light is absorbed by the object
- be dispersed/scattering (rainbow)
- refract
2. Surface Area.
3. Metals reflect light because they have free electrons.
4.
5. The law of reflection states that when a ray of light reflects off a surface, the angle of incidence is equal to the angle of reflection.
3. Metals reflect light because they have free electrons.
4.
5. The law of reflection states that when a ray of light reflects off a surface, the angle of incidence is equal to the angle of reflection.
7. Diamonds are highly refractive with a refractive index of 2.417. That number tells us that light travels approximately 2.5 times faster in air than it does in diamond.
8. 
9. The index basically tells us (the index being x) that light would travel x many times faster through air than it would through that object.
Part 2
10.
11.
12. the incident Ray travels faster than the Reflected Ray.
13. index of refraction = velocity of light in vacuum / velocity of light in medium
14. slower; faster
15. speed up; toward
16. slow down, away
Part 3
Applet doesn't work.
Part 4.
no applet…
People in this group: Lisa Sawyer, Racheal Sawyer, Nick Wilkinson, Kayla Smith
apology
i want to give an apology…. the onset of a depressive phase is coming.
i get distant. then isolated. then depressed.
now in random times add in random anger.
during the first two steps i become the "ice queen".
i become almost un emotional (there than anger, desperation, and anxiety) and i don't spare people's feelings. at all.
i will say what i think with almost no filter and feel no remorse for it.
so what i say is usually true… i'm not very delicate when delivering it and i say stuff i usually would hold back. so i apologize for any hurt feelings and such.
i get distant. then isolated. then depressed.
now in random times add in random anger.
during the first two steps i become the "ice queen".
i become almost un emotional (there than anger, desperation, and anxiety) and i don't spare people's feelings. at all.
i will say what i think with almost no filter and feel no remorse for it.
so what i say is usually true… i'm not very delicate when delivering it and i say stuff i usually would hold back. so i apologize for any hurt feelings and such.
distance
so, i've been distant lately. emotionally that is. aaaaand Mary has noticed.
its not something i do one purpose, but when i get stressed i get distant, and when i get distant i get isolated and when i get isolated i get depressed. and unfortunately i've been in that cycle for about a month. its not major depression… but i know the signs and the feeling of it.
i am a very romantic and affectionate person, but because of how i've been lately i haven't gotten as attached to Mary as i usually would have if everything was peechy-keen. I know its really unfair to her, but i honestly have been too out of it to even enter the honey-moon phase. like…at all. its almost like i'm just with a friend...being stressed has kept me cynical (amongst other things) and honestly its not fair to her.
she is so enthusiastic about the relationship - i'm not.
she is trying so hard - i'm not.
she's been romantic and sweet - i'm not.
its not fair to her.
i'm hoping that if we are still together when all this chaos and mayhem blows over, i can rise to the occasion, but as of right now i'm too out of it to be a good girlfriend.
at the moment, because of everything going on, my relationship with Mary…
is mostly an intellectual one.
its not over romantic in nature on my part.
which isn't fair to her.
at all.
its not just with mary that i have been distant with. its with all my friends. my sister. everyone.
but the thing is? i don't hate it.
when i'm distant from others it helps cut down on the stress i have, because i don't have to pretend to be perfectly fine. i can focus more on the problems at hand (sherlock i can relate!). but i am a social person…. i crave people's touch and comfort and companionship. so when i get distant i feel isolated…. which is not fun AT ALL. and is NOT something i enjoy at all…. it makes me feel alone. which when i'm stressed and then feel alone… i get even more stressed and then when the depression comes i feel i can't talk to anyone which makes my stress level go up even more….
which is why i'm distant and why my relationship with Mary is mostly one sided and unfair to her.
i know it is.
i know it sucks.
i'm sorry, but for right now i can't change that.
right now…
it is what it is.
thats all i can give right now.
i can be a positive force.
i can be nice.
i can play with her siblings.
i can listen to her about her day and her health.
i can cuddle with her.
i can relate to her via spirituality.
i can do spiritual stuff with her (to a pint… i'm not as spiritually gifted as she is)
i can hang out with her…
but thats all i can give right now.
which isn't a lot..
i'm too distracted… and when it comes to a romantic relationship there shouldn't be as many distractions as there are now.
its not something i do one purpose, but when i get stressed i get distant, and when i get distant i get isolated and when i get isolated i get depressed. and unfortunately i've been in that cycle for about a month. its not major depression… but i know the signs and the feeling of it.
i am a very romantic and affectionate person, but because of how i've been lately i haven't gotten as attached to Mary as i usually would have if everything was peechy-keen. I know its really unfair to her, but i honestly have been too out of it to even enter the honey-moon phase. like…at all. its almost like i'm just with a friend...being stressed has kept me cynical (amongst other things) and honestly its not fair to her.
she is so enthusiastic about the relationship - i'm not.
she is trying so hard - i'm not.
she's been romantic and sweet - i'm not.
its not fair to her.
i'm hoping that if we are still together when all this chaos and mayhem blows over, i can rise to the occasion, but as of right now i'm too out of it to be a good girlfriend.
at the moment, because of everything going on, my relationship with Mary…
is mostly an intellectual one.
its not over romantic in nature on my part.
which isn't fair to her.
at all.
its not just with mary that i have been distant with. its with all my friends. my sister. everyone.
but the thing is? i don't hate it.
when i'm distant from others it helps cut down on the stress i have, because i don't have to pretend to be perfectly fine. i can focus more on the problems at hand (sherlock i can relate!). but i am a social person…. i crave people's touch and comfort and companionship. so when i get distant i feel isolated…. which is not fun AT ALL. and is NOT something i enjoy at all…. it makes me feel alone. which when i'm stressed and then feel alone… i get even more stressed and then when the depression comes i feel i can't talk to anyone which makes my stress level go up even more….
which is why i'm distant and why my relationship with Mary is mostly one sided and unfair to her.
i know it is.
i know it sucks.
i'm sorry, but for right now i can't change that.
right now…
it is what it is.
thats all i can give right now.
i can be a positive force.
i can be nice.
i can play with her siblings.
i can listen to her about her day and her health.
i can cuddle with her.
i can relate to her via spirituality.
i can do spiritual stuff with her (to a pint… i'm not as spiritually gifted as she is)
i can hang out with her…
but thats all i can give right now.
which isn't a lot..
i'm too distracted… and when it comes to a romantic relationship there shouldn't be as many distractions as there are now.
Friday, May 9, 2014
opinion
so Mary is going all natural for a year? i think it was a year.
she isn't going to shave.
she is going to make some of her own clothes.
she is getting dreads.
she i gardening - like hard core gardening, growing herbs and foods and such
my opinion:
its not for me, but i'll support her. and if she can keep it all up for a year? stay dedicated? good for her, i'll be impressed with her stamina. i just know i wouldn't be able to do it.
she isn't going to shave.
she is going to make some of her own clothes.
she is getting dreads.
she i gardening - like hard core gardening, growing herbs and foods and such
my opinion:
its not for me, but i'll support her. and if she can keep it all up for a year? stay dedicated? good for her, i'll be impressed with her stamina. i just know i wouldn't be able to do it.
sorry
so i'm trying to remain in a good mood.
every time i have to think about getting stuff done for ECU i can't help but feel bitter and a bit sad/jealous. I hear everyone talking about going to their dream schools...
and ECU is a good school - i know. and if i'm staying here it has to be for a reason.
but... i'm so tightly strung it isn't funny.
the car i was sure i would have my accident in? died. and is ging to be taken to the junk yard.... whut.
what if that means my accident won't happen? that i'll be stranded here? WHAT THEN.
plus i have so much to get done for ECU....
i have to accept my loan...
.but get a Gov issue ID first...
i need to find out how to sisgn up for an orientation
orientation is going to cost AT LEAST a hundred dollars
a parking pass will cost AT LEAST 250!!!! are you kidding me????
and there are so many people going to ECU...
and on the ECU class page on facebook? its just so... i don't feel it. On Agnes page everyone was accepting and supportive and instantly friendly and cool... it felt like a close group of friends from day 1... ECU page? not.
positive. focus. positive.
i get my own room.
i can set up an alter.
car.
woolard.
smokey.
tennis.
focus.
every time i have to think about getting stuff done for ECU i can't help but feel bitter and a bit sad/jealous. I hear everyone talking about going to their dream schools...
and ECU is a good school - i know. and if i'm staying here it has to be for a reason.
but... i'm so tightly strung it isn't funny.
the car i was sure i would have my accident in? died. and is ging to be taken to the junk yard.... whut.
what if that means my accident won't happen? that i'll be stranded here? WHAT THEN.
plus i have so much to get done for ECU....
i have to accept my loan...
.but get a Gov issue ID first...
i need to find out how to sisgn up for an orientation
orientation is going to cost AT LEAST a hundred dollars
a parking pass will cost AT LEAST 250!!!! are you kidding me????
and there are so many people going to ECU...
and on the ECU class page on facebook? its just so... i don't feel it. On Agnes page everyone was accepting and supportive and instantly friendly and cool... it felt like a close group of friends from day 1... ECU page? not.
positive. focus. positive.
i get my own room.
i can set up an alter.
car.
woolard.
smokey.
tennis.
focus.
missing
I feel like i'm missing something.... like i should be seeing/watching/doing something and i'm not... its a smiliar feeling to the "i know i forgot something but what?" feeling. what am i missing?
Thursday, May 8, 2014
perfection...
okay for those that can't read this:
quotes:
-odin: human lives are fleeting
-loki: this day. the next. a hundred years. its nothing. a heartbeat.
-odin: they are nothing.
-loki: you'll never be ready
and guys that is just too much to type....
so here is the link!!
http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/88/96/9b/88969bf054711aa37657d02eb83a3489.jpg
my response: this is perfect. Loki protects her multiple times and actually likes Jane (i would totally ship them) and does look out for his brother. Loki may be a villian, but he isn't evil or a bad guy at heart...
Odin turned into a villian becuase of greif.. Loki turned into a good guy because of it.
my room
so i have some ideas for when cara and i switch rooms.
i will be getting hers when racheal goes of to NY, and she will be getting mine.
here are some ideas:
a wall dedicated to phantom of the opera and my art, a wall dedicated to positivity, and a wall designated to just.....me. like me and friends and racheal and a pic of cara and my mom and aunt and stuff like that.
like idk.
i will be getting hers when racheal goes of to NY, and she will be getting mine.
here are some ideas:
a wall dedicated to phantom of the opera and my art, a wall dedicated to positivity, and a wall designated to just.....me. like me and friends and racheal and a pic of cara and my mom and aunt and stuff like that.
like idk.
idea
so in my senior stuff i was given a portfolio that provided a picture frame with a blank page under it, i will put this picture:
and i will give it to woolard to sighn.
if he just puts his name and a small message i'll get all the girls to sign it.
if he write a bigger message, then it will just be him, :3
if he just puts his name and a small message i'll get all the girls to sign it.
if he write a bigger message, then it will just be him, :3
this is old but i just saw it never published D:
so i went and dropped off some pictures for yearbook and left them with woolard.
As soon as he saw it was me at the door he came over and gave me a hug... <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i swear i love that man.
he said thank you for the little poster <3
the "poster" was a picture i had made with three flowers (dwarf sunflower which represents admiration and gratitude, dahlia which represents gratitude, and Sorrel which represents parental affection)
and on this little "poster" i mentioned how much he has inspired and encouraged me. I also said what i ahve been dying to say. "Thank you for being a great teacher, for being an amazing coach, and for being like the dad i never had".
and he smiled when he saw me and hugged me.
big daddy woolard.
<3
As soon as he saw it was me at the door he came over and gave me a hug... <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
i swear i love that man.
he said thank you for the little poster <3
the "poster" was a picture i had made with three flowers (dwarf sunflower which represents admiration and gratitude, dahlia which represents gratitude, and Sorrel which represents parental affection)
and on this little "poster" i mentioned how much he has inspired and encouraged me. I also said what i ahve been dying to say. "Thank you for being a great teacher, for being an amazing coach, and for being like the dad i never had".
and he smiled when he saw me and hugged me.
big daddy woolard.
<3
play
so i was just in my first play.
i played 3 small parts...
a random woman.
a mobster's tootsie.
greek chorus/entourage
and i did well. i said my lines. and my mom was very proud of me. she said i was wonderful.
i wish i had gone for a bigger part....
our person that was the audiance member/shakespear messed up...and i knew all her lines. I really could have done that part... but i let self doubt make me chicken out. i know i could have done it....
but it is what it is and now i have some confidence. I'll prolly join like a drama club in college... that would be fun :3
all in all it was fun and exciting. no adrenaline rush like when i did the talent show, but i think thats because i was too bust beating myself up for not going for a part i know i could have done.
it was fun and i would do it again in a heart beat.
who came?
my mom.
my aunt.
mary.
ashley.
madison.
racheal
cara
WOOLARD SAW MEEEEEEEEEE and said i did a good job!!!!
i think strathy came too!!!
wow <3
i played 3 small parts...
a random woman.
a mobster's tootsie.
greek chorus/entourage
and i did well. i said my lines. and my mom was very proud of me. she said i was wonderful.
i wish i had gone for a bigger part....
our person that was the audiance member/shakespear messed up...and i knew all her lines. I really could have done that part... but i let self doubt make me chicken out. i know i could have done it....
but it is what it is and now i have some confidence. I'll prolly join like a drama club in college... that would be fun :3
all in all it was fun and exciting. no adrenaline rush like when i did the talent show, but i think thats because i was too bust beating myself up for not going for a part i know i could have done.
it was fun and i would do it again in a heart beat.
who came?
my mom.
my aunt.
mary.
ashley.
madison.
racheal
cara
WOOLARD SAW MEEEEEEEEEE and said i did a good job!!!!
i think strathy came too!!!
wow <3
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
coinki-dink
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the "kicker":
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
AND...................:
Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse...
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater...
I saw this had to share just in case anyone did not know
I saw this had to share just in case anyone did not know
anxiety
almost had an anxiety attack in the hall way going to play rehearsal. got to the hyperventilating-while-crying part when my friend Madison saw me and calmned me down.
then the rehersal made me focus and the world disapeared. which kept it at bay.
now i'm just numb.
and could be prone to crying.
i just want to stop caring.
stay numb.
i could do that you know...
only then i would be someone that people wouldn't like.
i'd be honest. mean. and prolly a bit like a sociopath.
when i get like this... i really believe i could become one.
but i won't. as much as i would like to give in to it.
i would hurt people (emotionally) and i have enough knowledge of the three fold law to warn me.
but it would make everything so much easier if i could just be numb...
then the rehersal made me focus and the world disapeared. which kept it at bay.
now i'm just numb.
and could be prone to crying.
i just want to stop caring.
stay numb.
i could do that you know...
only then i would be someone that people wouldn't like.
i'd be honest. mean. and prolly a bit like a sociopath.
when i get like this... i really believe i could become one.
but i won't. as much as i would like to give in to it.
i would hurt people (emotionally) and i have enough knowledge of the three fold law to warn me.
but it would make everything so much easier if i could just be numb...
panic attack averted
i have enough financial stuff to worry about.
i can't accept my loan because i don't have a drivers license
i just want to get it all taken care of so i can BREATHE
and i can't calm down.
its all going to be OK I promise :) xoxo
^mrs strathy typed that because i was too paniced to talk, my thraot had been too tight to speak without crying.
"night time sharpens...heightens each sensation, darkness stirs and wake imagination, silently the senses abandon their defenses...
slowly gently night unfurls its splendor, hear it, feel it, tremulous and tender... turn your face away from the garish light of day, turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light, and listen to the music of the night.
... open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind, to the power that you know you cannot fight. the power of the music of the night...."
^ sad that i could only breathe after i had to think from phantom.
i still feel the panic in my blood, but attack averted.
i can't accept my loan because i don't have a drivers license
i just want to get it all taken care of so i can BREATHE
and i can't calm down.
its all going to be OK I promise :) xoxo
^mrs strathy typed that because i was too paniced to talk, my thraot had been too tight to speak without crying.
"night time sharpens...heightens each sensation, darkness stirs and wake imagination, silently the senses abandon their defenses...
slowly gently night unfurls its splendor, hear it, feel it, tremulous and tender... turn your face away from the garish light of day, turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light, and listen to the music of the night.
... open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind, to the power that you know you cannot fight. the power of the music of the night...."
^ sad that i could only breathe after i had to think from phantom.
i still feel the panic in my blood, but attack averted.
today is great T.T
so.. today i find out that i need to come into work on Friday from 6-12. after a full day of school.
so no breakfast - or if i do eat one its going to be almost nothing.
little lunch.
rushed dinner.
a small snack for break.
standing for 5 1/2 - 6 hours.
after a full day of school.
fun.
THEN i have to go back in on saturday from 1:30 - 7:30.
THEN i will have to go back in on sunday.
no weekend.
no break.
fuck.
i need at least one day to calm down and unwind from the week. i don't have a weekend.
now i don't even have my one day!!!
i'm in such a lovely mood.
i had to cancel on Mary becase of this.
i had to decline a day with Lauren.
i can't go with my mom on mothers day.
and to top it all off i can't accept my fucking student loans because i don't have a god damned driver's license.
can i punch a fucking wall now?
oh, yeah.. today was the last day with out theater intern. thats great too.
so no breakfast - or if i do eat one its going to be almost nothing.
little lunch.
rushed dinner.
a small snack for break.
standing for 5 1/2 - 6 hours.
after a full day of school.
fun.
THEN i have to go back in on saturday from 1:30 - 7:30.
THEN i will have to go back in on sunday.
no weekend.
no break.
fuck.
i need at least one day to calm down and unwind from the week. i don't have a weekend.
now i don't even have my one day!!!
i'm in such a lovely mood.
i had to cancel on Mary becase of this.
i had to decline a day with Lauren.
i can't go with my mom on mothers day.
and to top it all off i can't accept my fucking student loans because i don't have a god damned driver's license.
can i punch a fucking wall now?
oh, yeah.. today was the last day with out theater intern. thats great too.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Hannibal S2 Ep9 reactions
Will's dream of killing hannibal is poetic…. thats how Hannibal made his first kill….
very nice nbc…. you haven't redeemed yourself yet….. but very nice.
Hannibal (in the dream) talks about love… and how through love we see the one who is loved to their full potential… trying to appeal to Will's humanity… and it failed. "i promised you a reckoning"…heheheh.
poor hannibal still has scars and looks like stitches from Will's attack D:
memory makes moments last forever but forgetfulness shows a healthy mind… it is good to forget. *huh. i'ma use that for my next physics test…*
HEH. "doubt… i let doubt it in." "about me." "about Will." so…. i think Jack really is supporting Will…. but he is playing the "i'm team hannibal" card very well…
*ugh. i'm about to get to see this new murder and i have to pause for physics review….*
well damn! someone is climbing on that rig like a monkey!
"adapt.eveolve.become." "yes." … … … no.
"a quiet sense of power"…. that is something i can understand…. and it is VERY seductive… for him he gets it when he kills someone evil… for me? i don't want to blog about it because it will make me look like a bad person… but i know what he means and i know how good it feels.
i've always wondered what would happen if people tap into their animalistic sides of themselves… and then i see this murder and i guess now i know.
aww…the man with the animals has a friend rat… good for him <3
14:44
this killer is an interesting one...
animal skull and such mask...
..
i love how hannibal plays both sides... xD
aww.... the second will heard buster cry in pain he came running with a gun to go save his dog <3
ran home and set him in a bed and went back out to go fight the big bad :3
hehe... don't mess with will's dogs.. xD
"this makes us even... i send someone to kill you, you send someone to kill me"... hannibal *nod*
very nice nbc…. you haven't redeemed yourself yet….. but very nice.
Hannibal (in the dream) talks about love… and how through love we see the one who is loved to their full potential… trying to appeal to Will's humanity… and it failed. "i promised you a reckoning"…heheheh.
poor hannibal still has scars and looks like stitches from Will's attack D:
memory makes moments last forever but forgetfulness shows a healthy mind… it is good to forget. *huh. i'ma use that for my next physics test…*
HEH. "doubt… i let doubt it in." "about me." "about Will." so…. i think Jack really is supporting Will…. but he is playing the "i'm team hannibal" card very well…
*ugh. i'm about to get to see this new murder and i have to pause for physics review….*
well damn! someone is climbing on that rig like a monkey!
"adapt.eveolve.become." "yes." … … … no.
"a quiet sense of power"…. that is something i can understand…. and it is VERY seductive… for him he gets it when he kills someone evil… for me? i don't want to blog about it because it will make me look like a bad person… but i know what he means and i know how good it feels.
i've always wondered what would happen if people tap into their animalistic sides of themselves… and then i see this murder and i guess now i know.
aww…the man with the animals has a friend rat… good for him <3
14:44
this killer is an interesting one...
animal skull and such mask...
..
i love how hannibal plays both sides... xD
aww.... the second will heard buster cry in pain he came running with a gun to go save his dog <3
ran home and set him in a bed and went back out to go fight the big bad :3
hehe... don't mess with will's dogs.. xD
"this makes us even... i send someone to kill you, you send someone to kill me"... hannibal *nod*
Spring and wave - physics
spring constant of a spring of 10g extended .25 m? what is the potential energy of the spring?
spring constant is F = -kx
PE is PE= 1/2kx^2
F = mass x gravity
Spring constant = k
k = F/x (just remember its in a negative direction)
(10g x 9.8)/.25m = 98/.25 = 392 = -392
(1/2)*-392*.25^2 = 12.25 J (energy is scalar it is not pos or neg) *****remember sigfig******
Spring constant = -392
PE = 12 J
if there is an echo question asking how far away the object reflected is: distance = (velocity*times)/2
Wave types and properties… on powerpoint!!!!!!
mechanical waves - sound waves… require a Medium (M-M)
electromagnetic - electricity- magnets - light and heat
phiberoptics - voice is turned to light for phones
compressional waves get close together and far apart, close and far… sound waves… transverse
longitudional - posing up and down and up and down… spring
calculating wavelength: c= 3x10^8
wavelength = c/frequency
spring constant is F = -kx
PE is PE= 1/2kx^2
F = mass x gravity
Spring constant = k
k = F/x (just remember its in a negative direction)
(10g x 9.8)/.25m = 98/.25 = 392 = -392
(1/2)*-392*.25^2 = 12.25 J (energy is scalar it is not pos or neg) *****remember sigfig******
Spring constant = -392
PE = 12 J
if there is an echo question asking how far away the object reflected is: distance = (velocity*times)/2
Wave types and properties… on powerpoint!!!!!!
mechanical waves - sound waves… require a Medium (M-M)
electromagnetic - electricity- magnets - light and heat
phiberoptics - voice is turned to light for phones
compressional waves get close together and far apart, close and far… sound waves… transverse
longitudional - posing up and down and up and down… spring
calculating wavelength: c= 3x10^8
wavelength = c/frequency
Monday, May 5, 2014
Hannibal S2 Ep 8 reactions part 2
*sigh* watching hannibal at home...its so slow...and glitchy...
"i don't want to kill you anymore doctor lecter... not now that i find you interesting".... my first thought": oh lord...
uuuuuuuughhh coooooommerrrrssssshailllllls
and my computer is so friggin slow.....
it took like.... 4 minutes for like.... 1 minute and a half worth of commercials to play...
alright...Lecter basically told Margo: ask me to kill your brother and i will. "...or find someone who will do it for you *meaningful look*" he genuinely wants to help this woman. <3
and the slower guy with the animals... he found her grave and put her in the horse.... he grieved her... but he didn't kill her. he knows who did.." i wanted you to find her...so you could find me...so you could find him."
poor guy :/
well...peter avenged his horse... killed the killer.... only now the poor guy will have to take the fall for all the murders... though i can i say i understand, he sees the animals as people (i do too - so i understand)
HOOOOLY SHIIIIITTTTTT
man in the horse is alive... oh gods that would traumatize me... og... i paused it as soon as the stitches started to rip.... ooooooh i don't want to watch this parttttt
hehehehe...
so Hannibal doesnm't know that will is behind him... and he says to the murderer: "you might want yo crawl back in there is you know whats good for you" my first reaction: he is about to take his anger that he has for himself (turning will both against him and corrupting will.... though he is pleased at the corruption at the same time) and Will is also projecting his negative emotions for hannibal onto this man also...
yeah this guy is as good as dead.
hm.... smart hannibal.
so hannibal is the fish... but will is the butterfly.
"with all my knowledge of intrusion i never fully predict you.......... i could feed the caterpillar, i could whisper through the chrysalis, but once it hatches follows its own nature and is beyond me."
"i don't want to kill you anymore doctor lecter... not now that i find you interesting".... my first thought": oh lord...
uuuuuuuughhh coooooommerrrrssssshailllllls
and my computer is so friggin slow.....
it took like.... 4 minutes for like.... 1 minute and a half worth of commercials to play...
alright...Lecter basically told Margo: ask me to kill your brother and i will. "...or find someone who will do it for you *meaningful look*" he genuinely wants to help this woman. <3
and the slower guy with the animals... he found her grave and put her in the horse.... he grieved her... but he didn't kill her. he knows who did.." i wanted you to find her...so you could find me...so you could find him."
poor guy :/
well...peter avenged his horse... killed the killer.... only now the poor guy will have to take the fall for all the murders... though i can i say i understand, he sees the animals as people (i do too - so i understand)
HOOOOLY SHIIIIITTTTTT
man in the horse is alive... oh gods that would traumatize me... og... i paused it as soon as the stitches started to rip.... ooooooh i don't want to watch this parttttt
hehehehe...
so Hannibal doesnm't know that will is behind him... and he says to the murderer: "you might want yo crawl back in there is you know whats good for you" my first reaction: he is about to take his anger that he has for himself (turning will both against him and corrupting will.... though he is pleased at the corruption at the same time) and Will is also projecting his negative emotions for hannibal onto this man also...
yeah this guy is as good as dead.
hm.... smart hannibal.
so hannibal is the fish... but will is the butterfly.
"with all my knowledge of intrusion i never fully predict you.......... i could feed the caterpillar, i could whisper through the chrysalis, but once it hatches follows its own nature and is beyond me."
Hannibal S2 E8 reactions
…i am still pissed about Chilton being dead….
O_O
i love this fish analogy for Hannibal with will…
its harder to catch a fish a second time…
how to you catch a fish that isn't hungry…
"you hook 'em, i'll get 'em"… i love you jack.. you piss me off sometimes but i love you for this.
lecter in the kitchen… preparing a fish while is is still alive…so cruel…. so him.
hannibal, that dinner looks amazing… but i don't know if i could eat it. the tentacles make my stomach churn. but its beautiful… and not even cannibalistic! :)
DAMN! i missed what his reps once was to wills "my turn to provide the meat"… >.< i need to rewind… why does Mr. Hendrickson choose TODAY to teach? in physics?
hehehhe… even he is sharing in the fish analogy.. i love you hannibal. "i hope that by providing the meat you no longer have doubts about what i serve at my table." this is after he says that trout are wild and tend to find the flavor of the flesh while serving a trout that has the flesh of another fish in its mouth….
***look at powerpoint from physics at home… i am missing everything****
"it makes us tastier"… Will you slyyyyyyy SOB xD
yay…horse guts… oh look - a body
boring commercial
boring commercial
boring commercial
not so boring commercial
boring commerical
seriously!!! get me to my show!
"i agree with the pagans - the horse is divine" well thank you - i'm sure Epona (a Goddess that holds Horses close - Bast:Cats::Epona:Horses)
O_O
okay NBC…. good job bringing in characters from the book.
"take the chocolate"… welcome Mason Verger's sister….that was left out of the movies…
she uh, happens to be a lesbian who was abused by her brother Mason Verger (who ends up being a child molsester and gets his face basically cut off and fed to dogs by hannibal)
i like her. she is pretty kick ass and SHE is the one that kills Mason - not his sick sidekick/nurse Cordell. Cordell is actually evil - not shown in the movies..
Margo… i forgot her name - that must be it. Hannibal actually does try to help her. she was a genuine patin and he was actually her doctor… if the show follows this from the books. he even says "kill him and blame it on me- i don't mind". he genuinely helps this woman (who now looks to be a very young woman - maybe 20? at the MOST)
yay…more sex with Dr. Bloom xD
hehehe.. the actor that plays hannibal is looking up and not at the naked actress beside him… xD
O_o…. a bird inside the chest cavity of the dead woman that was inside a horse uterus….. wow. inception?
boring commercial
posible funny show commercial
- paused at 18:23
O_O
i love this fish analogy for Hannibal with will…
its harder to catch a fish a second time…
how to you catch a fish that isn't hungry…
"you hook 'em, i'll get 'em"… i love you jack.. you piss me off sometimes but i love you for this.
lecter in the kitchen… preparing a fish while is is still alive…so cruel…. so him.
hannibal, that dinner looks amazing… but i don't know if i could eat it. the tentacles make my stomach churn. but its beautiful… and not even cannibalistic! :)
DAMN! i missed what his reps once was to wills "my turn to provide the meat"… >.< i need to rewind… why does Mr. Hendrickson choose TODAY to teach? in physics?
hehehhe… even he is sharing in the fish analogy.. i love you hannibal. "i hope that by providing the meat you no longer have doubts about what i serve at my table." this is after he says that trout are wild and tend to find the flavor of the flesh while serving a trout that has the flesh of another fish in its mouth….
***look at powerpoint from physics at home… i am missing everything****
"it makes us tastier"… Will you slyyyyyyy SOB xD
yay…horse guts… oh look - a body
boring commercial
boring commercial
boring commercial
not so boring commercial
boring commerical
seriously!!! get me to my show!
"i agree with the pagans - the horse is divine" well thank you - i'm sure Epona (a Goddess that holds Horses close - Bast:Cats::Epona:Horses)
O_O
okay NBC…. good job bringing in characters from the book.
"take the chocolate"… welcome Mason Verger's sister….that was left out of the movies…
she uh, happens to be a lesbian who was abused by her brother Mason Verger (who ends up being a child molsester and gets his face basically cut off and fed to dogs by hannibal)
i like her. she is pretty kick ass and SHE is the one that kills Mason - not his sick sidekick/nurse Cordell. Cordell is actually evil - not shown in the movies..
Margo… i forgot her name - that must be it. Hannibal actually does try to help her. she was a genuine patin and he was actually her doctor… if the show follows this from the books. he even says "kill him and blame it on me- i don't mind". he genuinely helps this woman (who now looks to be a very young woman - maybe 20? at the MOST)
yay…more sex with Dr. Bloom xD
hehehe.. the actor that plays hannibal is looking up and not at the naked actress beside him… xD
O_o…. a bird inside the chest cavity of the dead woman that was inside a horse uterus….. wow. inception?
boring commercial
posible funny show commercial
- paused at 18:23
Virtual Labs
ugh. i hate virtual labs…. i am mean seriously???
DX
Dines = cm,g,s
Displacement in SHM (spring) in terms of: however far you pull it
is positive when the position is to the right of the equilibrium position (x=o)
negativive vice versa
ugh he is going to fast.. i'm actually paying attention now and he is just flying by before i can take notes!!
kg
meter
N
weight = mass times acceleration
each weight is 50 g = /1000 = .05 kg
.05 x 9.8 = .49N = 1 weight
50g moved it 2 cm
100 = 4cm
150 = 6cm
200 = 8cm
Mass: .05kg .1kg .15kg .2kg
Weight: .49N .98 N 1.47N 1.96N
Distance: .02m .04cm .06cm .08 cm
DX
Dines = cm,g,s
Displacement in SHM (spring) in terms of: however far you pull it
is positive when the position is to the right of the equilibrium position (x=o)
negativive vice versa
ugh he is going to fast.. i'm actually paying attention now and he is just flying by before i can take notes!!
kg
meter
N
weight = mass times acceleration
each weight is 50 g = /1000 = .05 kg
.05 x 9.8 = .49N = 1 weight
50g moved it 2 cm
100 = 4cm
150 = 6cm
200 = 8cm
Mass: .05kg .1kg .15kg .2kg
Weight: .49N .98 N 1.47N 1.96N
Distance: .02m .04cm .06cm .08 cm
even more physics
F= -kx (F, k = spring constant, x = distance)
PEs = 1/2 kx2
T = 1/f
V = fλ
n = c/V
n1*sinθ1 = n2*sinθ2
sinθc = n2/n1
n1V1 = n2V2
* spring constant isn't actually constant… like light constant
* spring constant isn't actually constant… like light constant
update
so…. two days in a row i got hit on in food lion xD lol!! blew my mind.
I've been offered another job (at advanced Auto Parts) because of how the manager there saw i acted with customers. he said because i was friendly and "thats something that you just can't teach". cool. i'ma check it out.
um…. I gave Mary one of my cats Soxz "Soxy". and the stray from outside - Shadow.
gods be with me when Cara realizes Shadow isn't there… she has been sick and hasn't been out to see his absence.
Soxz is apparently adjusting very well :3 and Shadow was doing good, and then he went and hid, and now he is good again? :)
Um… i honestly don't know what to say other than i want more Sherlock and i need to catch up on Hannibal…
oh. i have one.
so i am obsessed with Phantom of the Opera…. my teacher Mr. Hererra (the one i go to church with) has said that when it comes to …Raleigh?…in September… she is going to take me.
WHAT??? HOLY SHIT!!! YESSSSSSSS <3
oh um… our Car died… so i now have to help buy another one so that Racheal and I can actually get around. but not to worry… when i go to get one by myself my mom will pay me back.
fun.
i need to accept my subsidized loan from my financial aid package… not the one from the school (unsubsidized), but the one from the government.
um..
yeah.
i started today off laughing so even though i am in pain, i'm in a good mood :3
~peace
I've been offered another job (at advanced Auto Parts) because of how the manager there saw i acted with customers. he said because i was friendly and "thats something that you just can't teach". cool. i'ma check it out.
um…. I gave Mary one of my cats Soxz "Soxy". and the stray from outside - Shadow.
gods be with me when Cara realizes Shadow isn't there… she has been sick and hasn't been out to see his absence.
Soxz is apparently adjusting very well :3 and Shadow was doing good, and then he went and hid, and now he is good again? :)
Um… i honestly don't know what to say other than i want more Sherlock and i need to catch up on Hannibal…
oh. i have one.
so i am obsessed with Phantom of the Opera…. my teacher Mr. Hererra (the one i go to church with) has said that when it comes to …Raleigh?…in September… she is going to take me.
WHAT??? HOLY SHIT!!! YESSSSSSSS <3
oh um… our Car died… so i now have to help buy another one so that Racheal and I can actually get around. but not to worry… when i go to get one by myself my mom will pay me back.
fun.
i need to accept my subsidized loan from my financial aid package… not the one from the school (unsubsidized), but the one from the government.
um..
yeah.
i started today off laughing so even though i am in pain, i'm in a good mood :3
~peace
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