foul

what is fair is foul and foul is fair.

well i'd say i might qualify as "fair" looking… and i know i am most foul this morning.

i mean - shit not even a Woolard hug could dispel this mood fore more than a few seconds.

• i'm angry because my mom thinks i'm a their - that i stole from her - when i borrowed 50 cents from the FAMILY CHANGE JAR so i could have drink money for my break at work.
• all my bitterness about ECU and Agnes is back. ten fold.
• Racheal is acting like she is my superior. talking to me in a condescending way about me being unhappy about work. (you shouldn't complain… - bitch what do you know? you sill have your fucking freedom.) fussing at me if i don't stand up fast enough for the pledge of allegiance. bitch I WAS STANDING UP.
• i have to do this fucking orientation thing.
• i have to call about car insurance.
• fuck it all i want to just go to theater class and stay there all day.
• top it all off: i'm bored.

I fell what little freedom had slipping away. i am joing from being caged by my mom to being caged by money, my mom, car-shit, job… lis goes on. 

this make-believe thing called freedom… is a lie.

which makes me bitter. 

bitter. bitter.bitter.bitter.bitter.fuckingbitterasfuck.

bitter about school.

bitter about money.

bitter about "freedom".

bitter about life.

life asked death why she was so disliked and she answered "because i am a hard truth and you are a beautiful lie".

what is fair is foul. what is foul is fair.