anxiety

almost had an anxiety attack in the hall way going to play rehearsal.  got to the hyperventilating-while-crying part when my friend Madison saw me and calmned me down.

then the rehersal made me focus and the world disapeared. which kept it at bay.

now i'm just numb.

and could be prone to crying.

i just want to stop caring.

stay numb.

i could do that you know...

only then i would be someone that people wouldn't like.

i'd be honest. mean. and prolly a bit like a sociopath.

when i get like this... i really believe i could become one.

but i won't. as much as i would like to give in to it.

i would hurt people (emotionally) and i have enough knowledge of the three fold law to warn me.

but it would make everything so much easier if i could just be numb...