ECU orientation....

so i payed for my ECU orientation.

for me and my aunt.

she doesn't know if she can stay... but i payed for her anywhere. yeah i thought it would be 30 extra dolllars.... it was 85.... holy fuck.

now i'm not going to wish i hadn't.... because it is done.

she asked if i had to pay for her... when i said yes, she said how much and why i hadn't told her.

i said 85$ and i hadn't told her because i thought it was just going to be 30.


now... i could have waited another day to do it and talked to her about it, but i had put this off for too long and the sooner it got done the better my classes.

its done.


only now i think Mary is mad at me. if she is then mom will be too. mom will prolly be mad regardless for wasting 85 dollars...

fun fun fun.

and on top of that? while stressing about that my anger and tears came and with that came the anger and tears for the whole fucking situation. (going to ECU.... money ...)


basically i feel trapped and i have no way to get out.

which makes me want to just crawl into a hole and never come out.

I HATE feeling stuck. trapped. caged.


an now i know why: apparently that is a Sagittarius trait. well it sure as hell is kicking in.

I WANT OUT.