fuck jake for showing me the pain of a broken heart. now it takes me longer to actually love someone, almsot out of self preservation - knowing i can never go back to that care-free bliss of a first love.
fuck corie for making me associate sex with anxiety and guilt. looking back it really was this relationship that turned me from sex positive to borderline sex repulsed. i'm still sex - neutral, but barely.
fuck lauren for getting my hopes up and proving to be a totally different person. Ive been lead on before, but this was even worse. fuck you for showing me how nieve and overly trusting i am. you still haunt my thoughts.
thank you jake for showing me what unabashed and actual love was.
thank you corie for teaching me about tarot cards, i truly love the magic of them. And from this relationship my other self emerged.. so thank you for that as well.
thank you lauren, without you i wouldn't have figured out how strong my friendship with "the family" is. From you i learned that there are people out there who are willing to compromise sex in order to be with me. thank you for giving me that hope.
fuck you and thank you.
***
there have been other ex's but none of them scarred me in the same way that these 3 have.
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