Disgusted

I’ve always been a little unhappy with my body.

I use to think I had an ugly face.
Then I saw how pretty I am.

I’ve always thought that I am too skinny...

Well now it seems it’s caught up to me.

It’s been a while since I actually looked at myself in the mirror, so I decided to preen before getting in the shower tonight. Especially because several people now have noticed I’ve gained weight on my rear ended.

From the front I look pretty.
There is some fat on my front however, a little pudge. When I tightened all my stomach muscles there was still bits that jiggled. It unnerved me.
Then I turned...

For the first time in years, I wasn’t just a little unhappy.
I was disgusted.

There are people who wear weight and it looks good on them. I know several people I would describe  as stunningly beautiful.
Fat does not equal ugly.

I am not one of those people.

But I am I unuse to seeing it on myself. My normal chicken legs looked like tree trunks, only instead of firm they were wrinkled and jiggly.

My butt the same.

This cannot stand.

If I’m off I need to at least go for an hour walk. Stretching before and after.

If I’m off and Jimmie is at work, I need to go with Cory and/or Maggie to the gym for at least an hour. Walk the treadmill. Then the elliptical. Then the cycle. Then do abs.

Maybe do some weights. My arms have flab too.

This is what happens when you don’t pay attention.

I feel ugly.